Screw Valentine's Day! It's all about me...
I have never been a fan of Valentine's Day...NEVER! Even when in a relationship, it's just not me, I rather have my Love Day, every day! How fascetious are we that we let the calendar and love propaganda limit our expression of love to one day in the year. It turns people into love monsters.
My Love Disclaimer: I love love and all that loving entails. When it comes to lurve, I'm all in! I have a romantic side, even though it is not as extensive as my female counter parts want it to be. If I were in a relationship right now, I still wouldn't be V days number one fan. My participation would mean the exchange of tokens of love that are simple...very simple, thoughtful, romantic (not OTT) and from the heart...sweet right?! I think ultimately that's what most women want but the marriage between commercialism and the media projects otherwise.
Now that's over with...
I've always seen it as a couple of weeks of stress for all involved and an influx of cash for every shop owner in the land.
Men everywhere wrecking their brains on what a woman wants and if they're romantic enough and exactly how expensive romanticizing is. Since the media years and years ago embedded in the minds of every human being that Feb 14th is the day of estrogen, the ovaris, all that's pink....les femmes! Which turned most women into lurve freaks. I'm sure at one point it was an occasion where love was celebrated, not just love between couples but love altogether.
Now women expect to receive and men are expected to give flowers, chocolates, candles, fancy dinners, gold, silver, diamonds with all the trimmings, something/anything expensive or even worse a present that will blow the minds of every female they know or have yet to meet.
The stress is every specimen of the male species doing their utmost best ever at finding that mind blowing gift. Then the stress every woman feels which is a mixture of excitement, anxiety and fear...will it be awesome and if he doesn't the stress that he blew it, then he realises he did. Now you're day sucks and you have no stories to tell the girls tomorrow.
Yes I know this is a highly cynical view and not all women are like this and generally just want to feel loved and that something was done specially for them
V Day = buying sh*t you don't want to or care for, to express your love to someone you actually love or care deeply for.
I'm also aware that many people are genuine in their love exchanges on Valentine's Day. Overall my general cynicism is just a dry break down of what V day has been reduced to.
Then the other kind of stress
V Day = feeling horrible, sad and unsatisfied with life because you are single.
You wake up that morning, have breakfast, shower get dressed, you look GOOD....real good. Out the door you go to whatever place you usually spend your weekdays only to be confronted by love and those people who think they're in love but are single two months later...Ha!
The whole world seems coupled up...embarrassingly so, you are literally the only person walking around that's single. Great! Now every loved up couple in the world has turned to see you do your solo run for the day. You have that hate V Day expression on but they believe in their hearts you hate it because you can't get anyone or you're an absolute bitter bitch or douchebag. Seriously the nerve of some people, half of them won't even be together the next time Valentine's rolls around and they judge me. *Insert eye rolling here*
Now you spend the rest of the day reminding yourself why you're single and it's not because you repel the opposite or same sex (depending on your individual case) but you have plan. Then you find things to do, spend the time. You can't watch television every love story, sitcom, series, TV film, movie is on EVERY channel. You go online and google to find good things for the 'other half less' to do.
V Day= pressurized stress
Even kids at school are busy making cards and finding a Valentine to give it to, while hoping, praying they aren't unfortunate enough to get NONE.
Valentine's Day is just a big ball of stress to me.
I'm single, out of choice so...
V Day is ME DAY!
Yes world, come Feb 14th I'll be spending the day showing me some much needed TLC. I also plan to show some love to my family. Sometimes we/I unknowingly or unintentionally take them for granted and as much as I dislike the idea of Valentine's Day, I rather spend it giving them a love boost from yours truly.
This is a lesson learned from my grandparents particularly my granddad.As far back as I could remember I've always had a Valentine. My granddad and more recently my little brother, would send/ make me a Valentine's card. In my single times I never felt it was pity, to me that's what Valentine's was about. A token of love from the heart from someone who loves me dearly. I could suffice with dinner and a card on V Day...any day, as long as it came with a good cuddle.
I will be pampering my self to the highest degree and invite all you singletons to do the same.There are many things to don on V Day when you're single but I'm not interested in them. I'm inventing my own.
- Valentine's day is not about love it's about money, you know what love is and more importantly you're not spending it on someone so spend it on yourself. Yep a day at a health/beauty spa. It's one place there won't be many couples anyway, so I recommend letting the professionals handle your aesthetics.
- If you want to save money, pamper yourself at home. I received many toietries (body wash, bath bombs, lotions, shampoo sets), manicure kits and make up for Christmas and V day is a good day to put it to use.
- Go on a mini holiday. Take a couple days off and go somewhere, preferably someplace full of nature and be one with the world itself and not the part that's busy wrecking their brains and bank accounts for gifts. Even better take a couple days off and have a mini holiday at home. Rearrange your flat, house, room- change things up a bit. New things can make you feel better, positive; a feng shui affect.
- Take Out. Have some nice take out like a really good Chinese, Indian restaurant that you know and love, Have it delivered, curl up and have some candlelit love with your number 1 fan.
- Do not ever dwell in self pity and moping, especially if it's your choice to be single right now. Relationship statuses are not self defining. The definition of you depends on you.
I take myself and hard work I do for granted many times throughout the year. I can be very hard on myself and fail to notice or remind myself of all the good and lovely aspects to ME. Instead I pick and dwell on all the negative things. Valentine's being so early on in the year allows me to show myself some appreciation, giving myself a boost before the year 'thickens'or becomes more difficult.
How to show You Extra Love:
- The night before take a good look in the mirror. Find all the things you love about you, forget all the things you don't. You want to build yourself up not tear yourself down. Right them down on post it/sticky notes.
- Make a list of the all the accomplishments you have made. Write these down on post it notes too.
- Write friendly and loving messages on the post it notes. 'I love your eyes' or 'Hey there good Lookin'', 'You're beautiful', 'I love your smile', 'You are such a hard worker'.
- Stick all the post it/sticky notes around your room and rest of the house in plain sight, especially in rooms you frequent. e.g. The bathroom mirror, your wardrobe, living room.
- The next Morning when you wake up, you'll be greeted by love notes, that will boost you up and make you smile. You might even realise how beautiful you really are.
Extra Tip: Get post it/sticky notes in fun colours and funky shapes, preferably heart shapes.
Valentine's Day is truly about the expression of love and we are often our harshest critic so why not spend it treating yourself and giving you some extra love.
January Hub Love # 4
My Other January HubChallenge Hub Love
- Fatty on a Mission
Say it Loud and Proud! So you're overweight, drastically, bordering obesity, bit of a chubber or ever so slightly where dropping 20 pounds would put you in good stead. You've been trying for sometime now, New...
- Did You say Writer's Block?!
Whack! My head hit the desk It's happened again...well it's been a continuous happening. I'm trying to write this book. I rub my head against the edge of the desk in hope some thoughts or flow of...
- Men: Save YOUR Relationships One Month At A Time
Don't Be Afraid, Take Hold of The Situation This is not a hub, I ever expected to write. One of my friends had this problem recently- his ability to deal with his girlfriend's monthly visit from Aunt Flo...
More by this Author
If you've even asked yourself this question, you already know. But you may want to read to be sure. If a few of these apply to you, you just may be his booty call—and, no, he does not care.
Most people by now would have gathered I know a thing or three about being single and loving it. I also know the high level of difficulty of being single on Valentine's at University/college. Here is a list of things...
So your boyfriend is acting cold and distant. What does it mean? What can you do to fix it?