Shocking Ways Coconut Oil Will Change Your Life

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You need this stuff

Forget pomegranate. Eschew chia. That stuff is passé. Look for krill oil at The Dollar Store very soon. No one is taking Super CoQ10 these days.

It's all been replaced by coconut oil. This stuff will change your life.

You need oodles of it. Clean out your basement and invest in a hand-truck: those 55-gallon drums of coconut oil won't store themselves.


Chuck Noland saved his life with it

In the famous movie Castaway, Chuck Noland found himself stranded on a deserted desert island with nothing but his wits and coconuts. He used his wits to build a really shabby raft. His coconuts provided delicious coconut oil. Noland sported silky smooth beard hair that was the envy of every fiddler crab sharing his beach. When he returned to civilization his first meal consisted of some ice and everything except coconut oil.

Reputable Web Sites Endorse Coconut Oil

Only the most colorful web sites have jumped on the coconut oil bandwagon. WebMD, which is hardly ever wrong about this kind of thing, asserts that a coconut is the fruit of the coconut palm. These tropical trees originate in tropical climates but soon that will include Ann Arbor, Michigan, unless Barack Obama can overcome narrow-minded Big Business huggers in Congress.

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It's Oily

When applied to sentient human skin, coconut oil provides a moisturizing effect. Thankfully, the phrase 'moisturizing effect' has not been evaluated by the FDA or anyone with common sense. We may continue to use this verbiage without fear of pesky lawsuits or clinical evaluations. Canola oil applied to the skin also makes you feel moisturized and it only costs about a dollar a quart.

You Want It To Be Cold Pressed

Only cold pressed coconut oil offers the health benefits of cold pressed coconut oil. This process uses no ancillary heat: the oil is squished out of the coconut fruit via mechanical means. There may exist warm pressed or hot pressed coconut oils on shelves at your local Naturally Healthy Food Store but you should steer your organic shopping cart in an opposing direction. Resist any temptation to purchase. Browse Paula Deen self-help books until the urge abates.

What we have here are medium chain triglycerides

Without getting too chemically on you, triglycerides are the glycerides commonly found in coconut oil. Without these little miracles of nature you would be really mad when you opened your jar of coconut oil because it would be empty. Scientists toil far into the afternoon attempting to replicate types of triglycerides so easily grown by coconut palms. It's as if nature intentionally teases us.

This splendiferous oil sports a high saturated fat content. That would seem extremely fatal if we were discussing McDonald's hamburgers. Fortunately, this saturated fat content is okey dokey because it comes from nature, like an oak tree or a volcano. Having such a composition means the stuff is slow to oxidize. Resistance to oxidation means you won't end up with rancid coconut oil as quickly as you might expect. Of course, a can of Pepsi never goes rancid, so you may have a difficult choice to make.

Coconut oil vendors happily assert the veracity of their products. Their oil cures stuff, or at least makes the stuff smell like coconuts:

  • Dry skin
  • Weight loss
  • Cholesterol
  • Coronary heart disease
  • Psoriasis

Do the Oil Pull

Finding yourself with a mouthful of bacteria and yuck is a bad way to find yourself. You'll probably never get that dream job at the Miss Universe Pageant. One way to ameliorate adverse breath issues might be an 'oil pull.'

  1. Simply fill a tablespoon with coconut oil.
  2. Put the aforementioned tablespoon, still filled with oil, in your mouth.
  3. Remove the tablespoon, leaving the oil behind.
  4. Swish the oil for 20 minutes, or one complete episode of Friends on NetFlix.
  5. Spit as necessary.

All the unwanted glop in your mouth should be gone.

Conclusion

Order some naturally occurring coconut oil for yourself and your friends. You can find it online at 75.2% of all web sites that you will visit from now on. Read about the amazing benefits with none of the side effects of motor oil. It makes a great Christmas gift for the person who already has every other kind of oil, except whale oil which is pretty much a social faux pas these days.

Visit Coconut

Here is a Coconut Oil Poll

I have used coconut oil to cure

  • Halitosis
  • Hives
  • Excessive Hibernation
  • Hubris
See results without voting

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Comments 13 comments

Astralrose profile image

Astralrose 13 months ago from India

It's no wonder coconut is known as the Tree of Life.


Kevin Goodwin 13 months ago

It is a very interesting article and I did not know that it had so useful.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 13 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@astralrose: it certainly gives life to online sales.


bodylevive profile image

bodylevive 13 months ago from Loachapoka, Alabama

I have never tried it even though I've been meaning to. One day I'll actually get around to it.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida

With this extraordinary exploration of the benefits of coconut oil, nicomp, you have raised its glory to an unheard-of level.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 13 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@bodylevive: I completely agree.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 13 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@DrBJ: Nothing is too good for coconuts, don't you think?


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 12 months ago from Orange County California

nicomp

I didn't realize that it had to be cold pressed.

I will have to check out the ones that I am using now.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@bradmasterOCcal If it's not cold-pressed coconut oil, it's just coconut oil.


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 12 months ago from Orange County California

nicomp

I understand now. And I like the flavor of just coconut oil as well.

Thanks


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@bradmasterOCcal 17 Oh, I like the flavor too. It tastes just like coconut.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 7 months ago from California

Ameliorate is one of my favorite words, so glad you used it. I like coconut oil a lot. Now I have some new ways to use it. Some things like fingernails still like olive oil a bit better for strengthening and moisturizing.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 7 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

I have friends in Amelia, I think that's not the same thing.

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