Stocking Stuffer Gift Ideas for Men Who Have Everything

Do you need to get a present for a guy, but just don't know what? Is he the kind of man who just seems to have everything he needs already and there's nothing else you could possibly contribute? Get him something he doesn't really need, then!

In fact, get him something he'd probably be better off without.

For example:

An Electronic Dog Repellent

If he likes taking walks along the neighborhood (or if he's a mailman), this might suit him well. You never know when he might be in a situation where a viscious dog has it in for him. Just in case, why not give him one of these doo-hickeys? It emmits a really high pitched, annoying sound that sends several types of animals running, including dogs--sometimes even humans.

Just don't aim it at anyone or anything directly; that's just a bit too annoying and probably dangerous, truth be told.

A Pooping Cow Keychain

You squeeze the cow, and and poo comes out of its backside like toothpaste almost; of course, it goes back in after you let go. I know, I know--it's in such poor taste, isn't it? But if he is offended by such crude potty humor, all the more reason to get it for him, right? The more proper and well-to-do this guy is, the more awesome it will be on Christmas morning when he opens (or finds) your present and is faced with artificial poo.

Maybe this is the kind of present you get when you want to say something to something directly (You know what I mean...) and you just can't find the words.

There is also a pig version, if you are so inclined.

Toilet Golf

Is he a golf fan, or does he just simply get bored when he's sitting on the throne and has nothing to do, but contemplate life?

This is a bathroom mat made to look like a golf green, where he can practice his putting as he sits. I'm not sure how effective this is at honing golf skills, but it sure is a conversation piece, wouldn't you say?

I reckon this might be too big to fit into a stocking, actually, but I'm sure you'll be able to squeeze it in.

There's also a fishing version, too, if that's more his thing.

A Book On How to Live With a Huge Penis

Again, in poor taste, but it's not really the contents of the book itself that matters, just what it implies when he leaves it lying around on his coffee table. That could be the biggest gift of all.

A Romance Novel

This one is just to be awkward. In fact, look him in the eye creepily and say: "That's you and me on the cover." when he discovers his present. (This works especially well if you're a guy.)

Well then, I hope this gave you some ideas--unless you were looking for something more dignified, I guess, but where's the fun in that?


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multifunctions profile image

multifunctions 6 years ago from India

imaginative mind.

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