ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Summer Is Family Reunion Time

Updated on November 10, 2012

Summer is just around the corner, and you know what that means...

Unless you're going to be out of the country for the next three months (not bloody likely this year), at some point you'll attend that great American event, the Family Reunion.

It goes by several different names:

  • a niece or nephew's graduation
  • Memorial Day weekend
  • a niece or nephew's wedding
  • the Fourth of July BBQ

Some families even call them family reunions.

Go figure.

But at least then you have a fairly good idea of how the day (or weekend) will play out.

By any of the other names...not so much.

A niece or nephew's graduation

Tickets to the graduation ceremony are usually limited to immediate family members - parents, grandparents, and siblings - so your presence won't be required until the get-together afterward at the home of the graduate. Which naturally is in a residential area with limited parking.

Depending on the size of your family, wear comfortable shoes and be prepared to walk as much as a block. Cool comfortable clothing too, as the only place to sit may be on the patio or porch.

The good news is you won't have to stay long unless you choose to. Drop your gift on the table by the door or attach the envelope with your check to the money tree, congratulate the grad, have a cup of punch and a piece of cake, leave. Pretty painless and you stay on the Christmas card list for another year.

Or just send a gift and a card, or (preferably) a card that includes a check. Cash is even better. Determine amount by whether the grad has finished high school or (finally!) college.

A Memorial Day picnic in a city park:

These will usually be pretty tame, because most city parks don't allow alcohol.

Enclosures quaintly called "shelter houses" can be reserved ahead of time so that Cousin Bubba and Cousin No Neck don't have to go to the park at the crack of dawn to lay claim to the shelter named in the invitation.

Reserving a shelter ahead of time also prevents your family from arriving at the one named in your invite only to find some other family's Bubba and No Neck staked out in it.

City parks will also have at least one playground, and perhaps a swimming pool, to keep the kids entertained. One or two adults (or older teenagers) will volunteer - or be "volunteered" - to supervise the kiddies. Preferably armed with a cell phone to notify parents of injuries if the play area or pool is out of shouting distance of where the family has gathered. Or to call 911 first if there's a lot of blood...or the child is unconscious and not breathing.

Memorial Day Weekend at a lake:

Rife with opportunities to fracture already-fragile familial relationships.

First off, there's the matter of lodging. Some out-of-towners will join the tribal spirit by camping out.

Those who show up with only a tent and a couple of lawn chairs are automatically tagged as 'losers'. Will usually have the most kids, and get no points for showing up in the first place except from the next group:

Those with a pop-out camper or a small fifth wheel. They're frugal, like to spend time in the outdoors, can be anywhere on the food chain, and are usually the most fun to be around. Will also be the ones who bring 3-ring binders full of family history, which will be spread out on the picnic table they've dragged under the awning of the camper/fifth wheel.

Make no mistake about it, those who arrive in an RV with AC and a satellite dish are slumming. Only showing up to preserve their place (or hoping to be mentioned) in the will of the most well-off family member. Everything out of their mouths for the next three days will relate to the size of their bank account(s), investment portfolio, and number of homes and vehicles owned or recently purchased. They'll also have a compact car hooked to the back of the RV for trips to the mall, and for meeting the motel bunch for drinks in town come sundown instead of sitting around the communal campfire.

The motel bunch, of course, are those who consider tents, campers, and RVs a complete waste of money, and wouldn't dream of sleeping on anything but a king-size bed with a remote on the bedside table. They also never show up at the lake each day until they've read the entire New York Times at the local Starbucks.

A niece or nephew's wedding:

Nothing earth shattering ever happens at the wedding itself. It's the reception where people get into trouble. Alcohol has a way of making Cousin Bimbo forget the hunk in the tuxedo is her obnoxious first cousin, and vice versa. Uncle Festus turns into Super Stud and hits on the twenty-something bridesmaids, all of whom are young enough to be his granddaughters.

Even if the reception is outdoors, Aunt Lulabelle will show up in the gown she wore to her prom in 1957...and to every "formal" affair since then. Which wouldn't be so bad if her husband wasn't in the Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts that'll make him stick out like a sore thumb in the requisite "family" photos.

Fourth of July BBQ

Depends on what time Uncle Festus or Cousin Bubbastart drinking and which one is in charge of cooking themain course. If Uncle F, then the hamburgers and hot dogs will be edible. If not, better bring your own bucket of KFC. The only thing Bubba keeps an eye on is Cousin Bimbo's cleavage while the hamburgers and hot dogs turn into chunks of charcoal.

Also be sure to inquire how long the potato salad and coleslaw have been sitting in the sun. Nothing like a case of food poisoning to bring a family together...in the ER.

Play it safe and stick to potato chips and the veggie tray...and your own bucket of KFC. And sit as far back as possible if Cousin Bubba is in charge of setting off the fireworks!

No matter how your family gathers or what they call the occasion, enjoy yourself.

And start saving now so that you can be out of the country next summer!

Do you like family reunions?

See results
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)