There is a Indian Ring Kneck In My Kitchen,

The people responsible for this here hub

As Suggested By Sixtyorso

(Food Critic, and Gastronome, cook)

Goompie, Just_Rodney and the kitchen prepare for Christmas. How's that for a hub title in the current hubmob?

And Egged On By Mistyhorizon2003

(must be a choreographer, especially with those long legs)

Great idea sixtyorso. You should do it Rodney, accompanied by photos of Goompy helping to eat the fruit destined for the Christmas Cake.

OK for those two, Food critic, and choreographer cum photographic coordinator standing their in the background, behind me, so to speak, as they then proceed to nudge me in my side, without any of those cheeky winks, I must add with a tad bit of disappointment!

So here is, 'Moi', the cook who was actually planning a different type of hub for this weeks topic. With food the last thing on his mind.

Hung out here in the hot kitchen, in the middle of a heat wave, like a piece of biltong (in some countries it is called "Jerky"). What it is, is a cut of air dried meat, but it is a highly sought after delicacy over here in South Africa. Its alright for the lot of you over in the Northern Hemisphere,where the winter is settling in.

Added to that I have my parrot who is a rather sensitive, a bit camera shy Ring Neck, aged 2 months and some days old, pressed into service.

So let me proceed!

But First Thing First

Need to first have a bath
Need to first have a bath
Not to sure what to do, this is my first bath!
Not to sure what to do, this is my first bath!
Can't a bird have a bit of privacy?
Can't a bird have a bit of privacy?

Introductions First

For a formal introduction to the stars of this hub

Goompy

You will need to find out a bit more about him at his personal hub reviews

Making-Space-For-a-Ring-Neck

and

My-Ring-Neck-Arrived-To-Roost

As you can see he is a member of the winged bird variety, and not a secret admirer with two arms and etc., etc., so the type of assistance that I will be getting is going to be rather a ..... well let us wait and see, shall we.

Just_Rodney

If you need to know a bit more about me, if this is the first time you have encountered any of my hubs, then there is a profile about, me as well as a stack of hubs where you can get to know something about me.

Rules of the Kitchen

Now having a bird, feathered variety, in the kitchen is a juggling act and requires a lot of careful planning and management.

There are believe it or not some foods and food substances as well as pretty standard cooking utensils that are a strict no-no for these characters, for believe me they are each and everyone of them unique.

Cooking Utensils

Sorry you guys and ladies who have been thinking of getting that set of, that British chef who has his fancy red dotted Teflon pans, for Christmas, Channukah or just because type of present.

This is a very strict no-no, as when the teflon coating gets very hot it then releases vapours, unfortunatly to a parrot these are toxic which would kill your feathered companion.

Remember, in the early mining methods, Goompy's cousins, the canaries, were travelled down in their cages into the mines, to detect and monitor the methane levels , if the canaries lived, it was safe.

Besides that who in their right minds really wants there food cooked in super hardened plastic compound in the first place! My choice of cooking utinsils is stainless steel and cast iron.

General Work Area

The area where Goompy needs to be able to work needs to be carefully planned. as it is like working in the kitchen with a two to three year old child that can fly, and also has a strong jaw with very very sharp teeth.

You have to be extremely quick as anything can happen in a flash.

Many parrot deaths, though statistics are rarely available, are due to accidents in the home, and at least sixty five percent happen in the kitchen.

So with all that in mind, I had to banish Goompy from the Kitchen.

Still What to Cook

After examining the daunting task of having the Goompy as an assistant, in a very hostile environment.

A kitchen, hostile, I can here you say, so give yourself a pair of wings, shrink your self down to approximately seven inches, with half of that being your pretty tail feathers. I must admit you make quite a cute bird.

Now sit on a pair of broad shoulders and watch all that food being placed into dishes, onto boards, plates and into pots.

Hot steam fluffing up your feathers and suddenly a cool draft starts to suck you up into the extractor hood, not a pleasant thought, as this is tragically all easy to happen.

So we need to remove Goompy from this scenario. Place him in the safety of a more friendly environment and rethink this entire hub.

Google To The Rescue

After mulling this over and a lot of discussion with Goompy and others involved in the merriment of this festive season, proceeded to do a Google Search with the required search criteria, that would find me that number one spot of what would be on the Menu for the day.

  1. It only required a single search!
  2. A single telephone call!
  3. An electronic Funds Transfer!
  • It all happened in a trice,
  • I was not naughty
  • but rather nice
  • on the day of christmas
  • wont be in the house
  • will be away
  • for the day
  • feasting on things nice

So have a peak at that menu for lunch for the day

Our Predicted Fare

Our Setting

Christmas Buffet Menu

Starters

  • Display of fresh farm breads and farm butter
  • Smoked salmon platter with cream cheese capers and fresh lemon wedges
  • Farm pates, Fresh preserves, and a Cold meat selection

Salad Buffet

  • New Potato, onion and herb salad tossed in a homemade mayonnaise
  • Caprese salad - vine ripened tomatoes and mozzarella cheese dressed with balsamic vinegar and basil pesto
  • Mediterranean vegetable pasta salad
  • Carrot and pineapple salad
  • Greek salad
  • Three bean salad
  • Marinated mushroom and broccoli salad
  • Garden salad with fresh fruit and croutons
  • Beetroot salad

Main Course

  • Traditional bread and sage stuffed oven roast cranberry and cardamom sauce
  • Honey glazed gammon with pineapple and cherries with a wholegrain mustard and honey sauce
  • Rosemary and garlic studded leg of lamb in its own roasting juices
  • Mustard and herb crusted beef with a port wine jus

Vegetable selection

  • Roast potatoes
  • Honey roast carrots
  • Cauliflower and broccoli in cheese sauce
  • Creamed spinach
  • Rice

Desert Selection

  • Traditional brandy soaked Christmas pudding with creme anglaise
  • Mince pies
  • Traditional sherry trifle
  • Strawberry and chocolate Mousse
  • Pavlova with berries and cream

Finale

  • Cheese board with crackers and preserved figs
  • Freshly brewed tea or filtered coffee served with homemade shortbread

OK I Found an Easy way Out

Still, not really an easy way out, as I did have to examine some real issues that could occur in the kitchen, as any one who has seen me working under pressure in the kitchen would testify that the kitchen becomes a danger zone.

I tend to get out of stride and have to rush from one end to the other with pots of boiling liquid in hand.

I have also had to consider that this year, for the first time, in all my adult life, I only have to consider a single important person. All the other years, it has been rushing from set of in laws to the other, great distances having to be covered between each set.

So we decided to kick back the bedclothes on Christmas morn, travel the required sixty odd Kilometers, to that Hotel in which we had our Wedding Breakfast. Have a morning coffee and then sit back, on the sun bathed terrace overlooking the pool, have a cocktail before lunch.

Proceed to sample and enjoy an unhurried Christmas lunch.

A merry Christmas to All.

May all of you enjoy what has been planned and may those plans be the reality you envisaged.

May your god, watch over you and keep you safe.

More by this Author


Comments 19 comments

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Well done Rodney, I still can't get the image of poor old Goompy being sucked up into the extractor fan out of my mind :)


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Misty, Parrot feathers as a sexy kitchen utensil?

Well done Rodney. I give you applause. Basil Fawlty says I need you to cook for me. LOL


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Misty, that scene was nearly to horrific to keyboard, I can not say pen, as that would be way too archaic, but those and other harsh realities need to be faced when one has the responsibility for an adolescent ring neck.

Sixty, Would that mean relocating to a colder climate, not to sure if that would work out, dont know if parrots would qualify for citizenship?

Thanks for the challange and your posting of comments.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Great job rodney, I could picture the scene of you and Goompy standing in the litchen getting ready to cook. I loved it, and glad you decided to wait to try cooking with him. He's young and might make a huge mess.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks Gwendy, as you see from his first bath, he made quite a splash. I think that was when I realized that a cooking challenge would tax his coordination capabilities, so we decided to leave it for the present.

Never the less, The Goompy Saga will continue from time to time.


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

the thought of you under stress, rushing up and down the kitchen with pans of boiling liquids and Goompy was too much for me - glad you are going out for Christmas lunch - sounds much more idyllic. Taking Goompy with you?


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Alas Ajcor, I will be leaving Goompy at home with a radio playing in the background. A lot safer than having to travel in the car and stay in the car, while we are inside, would not be fair.


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

just-rodney that sounds like a plan - unless he can take a supervised dip in the pool - you will need to take something special home for him though so he doesn't feel neglected. .


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Ajcor, had thought a smidgen of farm pate, would meet his discerning taste buds, as would the Mediterranean pasta salad, some roast potato if not too salty, and to round it off some cheese and crackers. Oh most important some of the fresh fruit, I am sure would round off his Christmas treat.


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

Can I have some too? Goompy's meal sounds pretty good to me.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

sixty, what else do you use a parrot feather for???


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

misty - maybe you could use it as a quill for a pen?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Good idea, but there must be more fun things you can do with a feather, ask sixty!!!!


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Aj, will bring back a sampling of what we had, some of the stuffing, and the lamb, not to forget the trifle and brandy pudding. Then will send it via the courtesy of hub pages.

It may raise a few eyebrows in the hotel, but its Christmas so what the heck.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Aj, I was just thinking, maybe you wuld also like some of the Pavlova with cream, also a medly of Mousse.

Let us leave that for the 26th when I can 'feed' it to you.

Misty, Sixty does not appear to be around, so I have no idea what he thinks of feathers in the sexy kitchen, or is it sexy feathers in a kitchen, not to sure. So will leave that for him to answer!

But yes, a quill would be a possibility as Ajcor suggested.

However a nice long feather! Sneak up behind you and ....... I er excuse me need to put Goompy, in his cage, very impressionable at this age you know.


best of the web profile image

best of the web 7 years ago from US

:) Thank you for the add :)


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks for joining in.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Heck I missed it all...too funny you guys and gals.....Love the bird tho I think it could be taught to watch you in the kitchen..hee hee with or without the feather....Thanks for a good time and story...G-Ma :o) hugs


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks for those kind words, great that you are back.

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