Twas two weeks before Christmas

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And all is not well....

Twas two weeks before Christmas and oh, woe is me

night has again fallen

I unplug the tree


My soft bed does beckon

but as usual-Alas-

my husband's sleep antics

are a pain in the ass.


He tosses and turns

and hogs the whole bed

while visions of daggers

dance in my head


I spring up from slumber

my patience long gone

and sit in the dark

looking forward to dawn


For hours on end

I plan and I scheme

how do I fix this?

I want to just scream


I crawl back in bed

pull covers to chin

I move my leg over

and kick in his shin


He mumbles and turns

and I smile in delight

Merry Christmas to me!

I finally sleep through the night.


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Comments 15 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

I can so relate to this hub; meet my wife! LOL Great fun!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Ha, ha! Thanks billybuc =) I knew you'd be one of my first readers....I liken you to an old friend stopping by to say hi!


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 3 years ago from Upstate, New York

Ha Ha! Holiday humor at it's very best. Wonderful rendition. I am one with a heart two sizes too small and I thank you for an awesome funny hub!

Voting up and sharing.


Cathy Fidelibus profile image

Cathy Fidelibus 3 years ago from NJ

very funny! Whatever it takes to get a good nice sleep I always say :o)


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Great share. Thanks for the laugh.


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 3 years ago from Arizona

Got a good laugh... Very creative.


beverleejb profile image

beverleejb 3 years ago from New York

Hi I sure did chuckle with all words

I read

You certainly are quite a poet.

And I am sure you know it.:)

Merry Christmas!!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

shiningirisheyes...thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Cathy...thanks for reading and I agree...whatever it takes...hee hee hee!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Mhatter99 you're welcome! Glad you enjoyed =)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Hi Carol7777....a good laugh is so nice, isnt it? =)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

beverleejb....thanks and Merry Christmas to you as well =)


beverleejb profile image

beverleejb 3 years ago from New York

Your very welcome!!


oceanuniverse profile image

oceanuniverse 3 years ago from California

I love this, this was funny. This should be read during the holidays, will put a smile on your face.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

oceanuniverse..thank you! I was actually smiling when I wrote it =)

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