Valentine Anonymous

Welcome to Valentine Anonymous. The place where those that have failed to give memorable Valentine Day events face their failures and confess their transgressions.

Hi, my name is Adam. I am a Lousy Valentine. I met my friends at a local bar before going to pick up my girl for our big date. I had just got off work and picked up her gift. She would not be ready for a couple of hours yet so I decided to meet my friends at our usual place. Well…… Before I knew it I was too drunk to find my way home so I fell asleep in the back of my pickup. It wasn’t until I awoke the next morning that I realized that I had missed the big night. I went to see her, but she slammed the door in my face and told me to never call her again. I am a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Zach. I am a Lousy Valentine. I bought chocolates for my girlfriend from her favorite specialty store. It was a box of 100 pieces and each one had her initials on them in pink frosting. When I got home I fell asleep in front of the TV. It wasn’t until I felt the soda being poured on my head did I realize that I was late for our date. What was worse was the fact that Fido had his head in her box of chocolates. I am a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Michael. I am a Lousy Valentine. I took my girlfriend out to dinner at a really nice restaurant. The food was great. I had all her favorite dishes specially ordered. The service was wonderful and personalized. My girl just didn’t think so. She is extremely allergic to nuts. I forgot and ordered two dishes for her with nuts. We spent the rest of the night in the ER. She says that I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Brian. I am a Lousy Valentine. I took my wife out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. It was the place of our very first date. We had the same dishes and sat at the same table. The date was going great. Until…… While we were there, I saw an old girlfriend walk in. I invited her to join us since she was alone and celebrating her divorce. We had a great time reminiscing about the good old days. I’ve slept on the couch ever since. I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Charles. I am a Lousy Valentine. I met the most wonderful girl. For six months I’ve tried to ask her out. When I finally got the nerve to, she said yes. I picked her up and she looked so hot in her tight black dress and spiked heels. I thought for sure this was going to be a wonderful night and the beginning of a great relationship. How was I to know four hours later that monster truck rallies were not her thing? I am a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Nathan. I am a Lousy Valentine. I began dating my girl just three months before the “big day”. We always had fun together and were really going places. Until I forgot that today was February 14th. I honestly thought it was the 13th. Really! I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is George. I am a Lousy Valentine. I spend each Valentine’s Day with my special girl. I enjoy sharing all aspects of my life with her. How was I to know that she would not want to watch me and the guys smash beer cans all night? I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Adrian. I am a Lousy Valentine. I took my wife out on our first date on Valentine’s Day. It was great. Dinner and a movie. To remind us of that beautiful night, I take her to the same place and rent the same movie each time. It wasn’t until this last year that she finally told me why she cried each year on this day. I thought it was from tears of joy. What do I know about women? Well, now I know. She hates McDonald’s and Terminator. I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Amanda. I am a Lousy Valentine. I was told that I could make the plans for our very first Valentine’s Day. I was so excited to plan it all. I got the tickets for the biggest event in town. It was our first and last date that he let me plan. The Cinderella ballet was not what he had envisioned as our date that night. I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Brad. I am a Lousy Valentine. I took my girl out on a gondola and had music played just for her. The night was beautiful with the stars overhead and the music floating around us. It ended rather abruptly when she opened the box of chocolates and found the Atkins Diet Book. She was always complaining about how fat she was so I decided to help her this year. I guess I’m a Lousy Valentine.

Hi, my name is Stephen. I am a Lousy Valentine. I was pouring the wine for our romantic dinner while my girl was changing. I turned and did not realize that she was right behind me in a stunning white dress. It did not remain white long as the red wine spilt all over the front of that dress. I’m a Lousy Valentine.

May your Valentine's Day not be full of the blessings above and instead be a beautiful time.

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Comments 36 comments

Mike the salesman profile image

Mike the salesman 7 years ago from birmingham alabama/sherwood oregon

lol i can relate to a couple of those!


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Mike, That's a little scary.


Eddie Perkins 7 years ago

Have you been talking to Barbie?

~ eddie:)


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Eddie, my lips are sealed.


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

oops....


Cailin Gallagher profile image

Cailin Gallagher 7 years ago from New England

Hi, my name is cupid. Any attempt is better than no attempt. Happy Valentines!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

LOL. Either you have an incredibly vivid imagination or have suffered more than your share of brutal VD dates. I liked the one where the woman made the plans (what a concept!) but still ended up being called a Lousy Valentine.

This sure did put me in the mood for Cupid! MM


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Ajcor, I'd say so.

Cailin, you could say that.

MM, this was entirely my imagination with a couple of instances taken from a cousin and tweaked just a little.


eovery profile image

eovery 7 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

My wife has wonderful ways to hint to me, to make sure that I don't forget important dates. Hint Hint ladies.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

I have to admit that I don't have to remind my husband of a single date. He's great about that.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

thanks 4 reminding me of my failures on V-Day.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Oh my, goldentoad. I hope you didn't do any of these.


Leta S 7 years ago

Hi, RGraf-I might be rare, but I don't care that much about Valentine's Day! Life is like a box of chocolates! Anytime, lol...


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Lita, it's never been a bit day for me either. My husband and I usually end up watching movies with the kids. :)


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I think a lousy valentine is fine by me, I'm lousy myself :C


rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe 7 years ago from Standing right behind you!

Hi My name is Joe. I am a lousy Valentine. When I was in 2nd grade, my classmate Karen gave me one of those kids paper Valentine's Day cards that come 25 to a pack and wrote "I love you, Joe. Love, Karen. I crossed it out with a crayon, resigned it and gave it to Sue Ezpozito. I guess I'm a lousy Valentine.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Chris, honesty goes a long way :)

Rockinjoe, welcome to Valentine Anonymous. You are welcome to joing them (LOL). I have to admit that that might need to be added to the list above. My imagination couldn't come up with that one.


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

LOL I guess me too I am a lousy Valentine; I prepared a deliciously romantic/aphrodisiac seafood dinner for Valentine's Day and forgot that hubby is alergic to mussels. Lousy or plain badness because he forgot Valentine's Day? Guess we'll never know ;-)


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Princessa, we could say that the heart was in the right place. Did he forgive you is the question? :)


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

Of course, after all it was Valentine's Day :)


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

My best Valentines day was the year I was working as an IT consultant for a major greeting card company. The place was a mad house through February 15, I was getting as many hours as I needed and more the entire month of January and the first half of February ... while the world poured money into this artifically created holiday ... I pocketed as much as I could ... Mwahahahahaha


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

BDazzler, good for you! At least someone made money on the cards. I would rather just spent quality time with my sweetie then to receive a card or over priced flowers.


Denny Lyon profile image

Denny Lyon 7 years ago from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA

This was such a clever hub, gave me a chuckle. Some people do have bad form I guess. My husband is great so I'm lucky!


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Thank you. I'm lucky with my husband, too. He's pretty good on this day.


SirDent 7 years ago

I feel sorry for those guys this hub was written about. Personally I can say that I am a great valentine. I tell my wife that all the time. :P


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

LOL This was a fun read. Love your sense of humor. It comes with a zing. Keep enjoying life:)


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Sir Dent, But what does your wife say?

dayzeebee, thank you. Thought others would go mushy so I went funny.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA

Hahaha, I loved to read the valentine day gone bad as long as I'm not the person it's gone bad on! lol Thanks for the fun!


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Dottie, glad you enjoyed the laugh.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi RGraf, thanks for the laugh! It's good to laugh at the things that went wrong with life. Love and laughter? Now that is a good mix! To better valentine days! :)


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

If you think Valentine's Day is a bunch of pseudo romantic hogwash and would rather not celebrate it does that qualify you for membership in VA? Not me, of course ... I have this friend:-).


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Ripplemaker, you are welcome. You do have to laugh at them.

MM, yeah right! Your friend is welcome to joing :)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

Valentine's Day is a wonderful day to share with your loved one, but I think sometimes people place too many expectations on this one day. The ladies above should not be overly upset with their boyfriend/husbands because mistakes happen, and what is important is how they are treated during the rest of the 364 days of the year. I dated a man once who made a big deal about Valentine's Day, but the rest of our relationship was pretty flat. I would rather have a guy who means well and is human than one perfect Valentine's Day.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

I totally agree! My husband gives me flowers throughout the year and they mean so much more to me!


ProCW profile image

ProCW 7 years ago from South Carolina

I'd like to think of myself as the type of person that is loving all year-round, but even more-so on Valentine's Day. And I'd hope to never become like one of those lousy valentines above!!!

By the way, aren't chocolates bad for dogs? I hope Fido was okay!!! :)

Great hub and thumbs up!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

ProCW


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Thank you. I've heard that a little chocolate is ok, but the whole thing? I don't think so. This is a slight variation of a story that really happened to a cousin. Her boyfriend got so drunk that he fed his dog the chocolates. Dog lived. boyfriend different story.

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