Should I feel obligated to invite a neighbor we don't know to our backyard neigh

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   purl3agonyposted 9 years ago

   Should I feel obligated to invite a neighbor we don't know to our backyard neighborhood picnic?
   
   My family is planning to host a backyard cookout in about a month.  We plan to invite a small group of our close neighbors.  We never met the family that lives directly across from us (weird, I know) and have only had odd interactions with the father (he once shot a bb gun at our house). I think it would be awkward not to invite this family to our party, since we are including the families on either side of their house, but I don't really like this family from what little I know about them.  Should we try to be more friendly and invite this family?  Or can we just invite who we want? Thanks!

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   Kiss andTalesposted 9 years ago

   Reference Bible
   Mt 5:9“Happy are the peaceable, since they will be called ‘sons of God.
   It never hurts to apply counsel from God’s word. You can be blessed for it. But that is still a choice you have to make.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks!  I'd like to be a good and friendly neighbor, but the few times I've interacted with these neighbors have been very unpleasant.  I keep going back and forth on this.  I will think some more about your suggestion.

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   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   If you were inviting the entire block, and excluding this family, it would be weird. If you're only inviting friends, it doesn't make sense to invite people with whom you aren't friendly.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Lisa!  This makes me feel a little better.  We only plan to invite those neighbors that we are friendly with, and this neighbor has never even returned our simple greetings.  I think your's is good advice

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   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   As a neighbor who has been excluded since we moved here for no reason; I can kind of see the other side.  Of course we never shot a gun at any of our neighbors houses, so maybe not.  Did you ever ask him why he shot the BB gun? Maybe he saw something he thought would be harmful to you? Maybe it would be a good time to break the ice and get to know these people instead of just isolating them and making assumptions? Without the whole story it's hard to say, but I would always opt for getting to know one's neighbors before deciding they are bad people.  Perhaps there are some misunderstandings.
   
   For us, our neighbors except for one have never bothered with us.  We moved into this small town and are probably seen as "invaders" or something lol - no idea.  My dad grew up here though so when people find out whose daughter I am then suddenly they are willing to talk to us.  Odd.  Because these people are simple and petty I actually choose to not engage, because I was only worth talking to when they found out we were related to someone they grew up with.  Whatever....
   
   In all honesty, we'd have been much better neighbors and more involved in our local village if people had given us a chance on our own merits.  As it is now, I volunteer in a different community and do things in places where I actually feel valued. 
   
   I can see the point of the ostracized neighbor, but I can also see the point of not wanting to invite someone I don't know who shoots BB guns at my home.  I wouldn't appreciate that at all.  Tough call.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your understanding.  We moved here 3 years ago, and no one was very friendly.  But now there are newer neighbors who are very nice.  It's just the neighbor across the street that's a sticky spot. Still undecided but I appreciate your help.

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   DarkestDreamsposted 9 years ago

   If I were you I would only invite who I wanted to see.  Since it is a small gathering, just invite your friends.  After all, he did shoot a BB gun at your house, so that is someone I would prefer not to know better.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      True!  The bb gun thing was a little weird.   We never saw him shoot the gun.  We heard something hit the house and when we looked outside, he was in his yard holding a bb gun.  We just put 2 and 2 together.  Thanks so much for your comment and help!

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   AnnaCiaposted 9 years ago

   If you don't feel comfortable with them, you are not obligated to invite them.  Have a great time with the other neighbors.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks.  Your answer makes me feel a lot better about just inviting who we want

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   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   I never invite any neighbor that I am not familiar of to our house even for a cup of tea.

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I hadn't thought about it like that, but you're absolutely right!  Thanks so much for your help!

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   Cerulean Crayonposted 9 years ago

   The neighbors across the street need to be spoken to, even without the backyard barbecue. It would be quite neighborly of you to knock on their door one day soon. It can be a friendly interaction on your part. You don't have to give away anything of yourself, but they have to know you felt intruded on with the bb gun, even if you don't say it directly or adversarialy. It's not an easy thing to put yourself out there, and most of us were not raised to do it; many of us wait until we are in a box and then move on our own behalves. Anything that happens on your property is under your authority, and the quiet resolve of the law is behind you, so it frees you up to be exactly who you are with these neighbors. It doesn't appear to me that you are unfriendly. But the neighbors may be a bit out of place, and subsequently insecure.
   
   Your own barbecue can be what you want it to be. You don't have to feel "obligated" to anyone but yourself......but it seems like you want to do some sort of mend with the other neighbors. And they're blessed to have you across the street!

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      purl3agonyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, you're right.  We should probably talk to him and clear up some bad feelings.  Thanks so much for your advice and help!

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      Cerulean Crayonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Donna, I like the knitwork you have as wallpaper! Great to correspond with you!

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