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What would you do?

  1. IzzyM profile image86
    IzzyMposted 6 years ago

    My partner is Spanish/Israeli, and though we have been together nearly six years, this is the first year we are both home together at Christmas/New Year time.
    I followed his wishes and cooked the main meal planned for Christmas Day, on Christmas Eve instead. He said that was traditional in Spain.
    OK, so we had this meal about 9pm and I had the most terrible night afterwards, with indigestion and whatnot and couldn't sleep. Told him next day there was no way I was going to eat such a substantial meal so close to bedtime as obviously my constitution couldn't take it.
    Now it is New Year's Eve and he told me this morning he wants the same, but I said 'no way' after last week.
    He still has a 'siesta' each afternoon, so when he got up today he asked why the dinner wasn't in the oven ( he got fed before his siesta) I had to repeat that if he wants this damned dinner so much I will cook it for him, but for him alone as I wasn't going to eat and put myself through the same misery.
    He has stormed off
    This is just another reminder that sometimes two cultures have trouble living together.
    I want to go up the village square tonight where they give out grapes and champagne at midnight, but he doesn't
    Maybe I should just sit here and write another hub...but then again it is Hogmanay, which in my culture, Scottish, is the most important day of the year(and time for a good dram!)

    1. EmpressFelicity profile image83
      EmpressFelicityposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I don't think I could live with someone who was this temperamental, whatever culture they came from.  The fact that he doesn't seem to be bothered about your getting indigestion from eating a heavy meal so soon before bed time also suggests to me that he's rather selfish.

      1. IzzyM profile image86
        IzzyMposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        God yes he's selfish LOL. I deliberately walk three paces behind him and wind him up by asking is that not what women are expectd to do in his country? <g>

        No I'm glad now I didn't cook for him tonight. He'll get his meal tomorrow like any normal person and he can go forth and multiply if he doesn't like it. My house, my rules, it's a New Year and I'm not getting paid to listen to him!

        1. EmpressFelicity profile image83
          EmpressFelicityposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Good for you!  Life's too short to put up with that kind of behaviour.  And as Daniel said, you'd only be setting a precedent. 

          I have to say that there's something I've noticed about people who are prone to go off in a huff... it's that often it's nothing to do with anything the "huffee" might have done.  If the "huffer" has decided to throw their toys out of the pram then anything will set them off, no matter how trivial.

          1. IzzyM profile image86
            IzzyMposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Ah well he's calmed down, I've not moved from here for hours, but need to make up my mind soon about going out or not. Thanks for the support I needed it x

    2. 0
      cosetteposted 6 years ago in reply to this


      this is a tough one

      i would go to the square without him. they say if you eat twelve grapes at midnight, you will have twelve months of good luck in the new year.

      or ask him to come along. you don't want to start off the new year on an unhappy note. promise him that next year, you will do a tapas style feast, in which you make small and tasty edibles. this way you can eat as little as you want, and he can enjoy a familiar and happy feast.

      tonight i am making mini empenadas (savory ones and sweet ones) and will have a spiral ham with small rolls so people can make little sandwiches if they want, and fresh veggies etc.

      Happy New Year, and good luck. i hope everything works out smile

  2. Daniel Carter profile image89
    Daniel Carterposted 6 years ago

    if it were me, I would let him fix his own meal, and then go down town and enjoy the champagne and grapes without him. He can storm off if he likes, but chasing after him (if you were to do that) would only set a precedent that he can get away with temper tantrums because you'll come running after him to make them better.


    I believe we are responsible for our own happiness. Combining our life with someone else's is a voluntary, joyful thing, not about immaturity, demands, or who gets to be a victim now.

    I hope you'll enjoy the evening with or without him.

    1. IzzyM profile image86
      IzzyMposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Cheers Daniel x
      He's back anyway, and seemingly OK about not getting his dinner, and the wind is getting up (the storms here are tremendous) and the rain has started, so I'll see what it's like nearer midnight because its a half mile walk into town (no buses/taxis here).
      Just noticed its 10.30pm so maybe - yet another - quiet night in?

  3. Shadesbreath profile image90
    Shadesbreathposted 6 years ago

    Sounds like he needs his diaper changed.