When a friend or relative suffers from mental health problems, it's not just their life that's affected. Here are some tips on how to cope if you find yourself in the role of carer.

When someone you love has a breakdown, depression, panic attacks or is living with OCD, it's not just their wellbeing that's affected. Your relationship and family life may also feel the strain.

There is nothing selfish about wanting a break from them. Just as those who are mentally ill shouldn't feel held back on their road to recovery by negative attitudes surrounding their condition, nor should the carer.

Kathryn Hill, head of mental health programmes at the Mental Health Foundation, says, "It's important to respond sensitively if someone close to you seems to be suffering from mental distress. The most important thing initially is to let them know you're still there for them, that you care for them and that you accept them whatever problems they're having.

"Sometimes, someone with a mental health problem will want their friends and family to offer support by just acting as ‘normal' as possible in the circumstances.

"If you think outside help is needed, try to persuade your partner or relative to seek help themselves. A GP is a good place to start, or the Samaritans. If they are reluctant to take action, you can contact services yourself, after letting your loved one know this is what you plan to do.

" Learn to listen '

Bridget O'Connell, information unit manager at the mental health charity Mind, says one of the most important caring strategies is just to listen.

She says, "All too often, others find it hard to listen. Instead, they interrupt to talk about themselves or to tell the person what they should do or how they should feel. If you can listen well, the person may be able to talk in a way that could help them feel better."

Kathryn adds, "Someone with a mental health problem often finds it hard to be their usual self. This can affect those around them quite profoundly and family and friends may feel out of their depth, frustrated or drained emotionally. They may end up feeling more like a carer than a friend or partner, and it's important to recognise that the support they can give may have limits.

" Help them to help themselves

It's also important that the person who is ill does all they can to help themselves. You can encourage them to:

* Take regular exercise.

* Join a group where they can talk about their problems.

* Take part in an activity they enjoy.

* If they don't feel like going out, encourage them to join appropriate supportive groups online.

If someone who is mentally ill has children then the whole family needs to understand that their behaviour is the result of an illness and that nobody is to blame.

Kathryn says, "Children will cope with the situation better if they understand clearly that their parent is ill and the child is not to blame for what is happening, and that their parent still loves them, no matter what problems they may be experiencing. "Having as stable a home environment as possible will also help a child's resilience. If the child has interests and friends outside the home, they will also cope much better."