I often wondered through out the years why do I stay in a relationship that is physically and mentally abusive.Through out the years I have believed different things.

• I will never find someone to love me because I am damaged.

• I have children how am I going to support them

• Who would want me?

• It's really not that bad ,he only hits me and not the children

• i must of done something wrong

• How can I tell my family?

• I was brought up to not divorce

• I made my bed ,I have to lie in it now.

• Maybe if I try harder.

The above go on and on and nothing ever gets better.

Physical and Verbal abuse go hand in hand and we do not even realize it.It first might start as a demeaning comment to a loved one and then when they feel that power they just keep taking more and more shots until it turns physical.This is how it started with me.

I believe that most women that are abused by their spouses,boyfriends and even parents by allowing people to walk over them due to their low self esteem and even their co-dependency. Most women have been taught to please and honor your husband.They have witnessed their parents in certain situations that either make them stronger or weaker.

Why are we so scared to leave; well when most women or children even think of doing this obstacles can be thrown in their way.Mine was that I was alone in another state away from my parents with my first child.People around me were not family and being only 17 years old tends to not help either.I put up with the verbal abuse to start with.I tried to express how this felt with no comment but a slap accross the face and a laugh.This is when I was going to leave only to be stopped by people I barely knew as his family.It is scary when someone threatens to take your child in a place were you have no friends or loved ones.God watched over me for the year and a half we were there and we moved back home.

Remember to get to know people and make your own friends if family and friends are not around.

Keep a journal of what is going on around you.

If your ever physically hurt tell a friend ,call your family and get it documented somewhere some how.

If you have a phone put 911 on speed dial.

Get to know your neighbors very well.

I know that you have had it hard in one way or another.

Get out before the second time comes along

Verbal ,Physical and Sexual Abuse is wrong nobody deserves this and living with it is not an option.I know your thinking how am I going to survive?How will I make it on what I make? I love him ..He will change! I can not make it alone. I do not want to be a failure. What will people think? Nobody will believe me.It is my fault not his.I caused this . He understands me. I feel safe with him most of the time. He is really sorry it won't happen again.

Well these are reasons to stay but are you going to be happy and have a person there to love and cherish you as a husband ,boyfriend should? Love might hurt heart wise in a good way but never a bad way.Never should anyone rip your heart and soul out by demeaning you and allowing them to do or continue to do this is wrong.Hitting or sexually abusing you is never deserved.There is nothing anyone could ever do to deserve this.This also goes for the verbal part too.

I lived it in high school by letting boys make me feel worthless.I continued to let it go on even when I got married for the first time.Ten years of verbal and physical abuse took a toll on my children and myself.You talk yourself into staying and then you wind up behind bars that you can't break free from or a hole so deep you can't see daylight. So break free ,If you even suspect that when you stand up for yourself that retaliation occurs run and don't look back.You are a very special Person that does not deserve this.You are loved and deserved to be loved and cherished.