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10 Fabulous Uses For Toenail Clippings

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By marisuewrites


Well, What DO You Do With Them?

 

Toes are completely

misunderstood and under

appreciated for their

great contribution to our

day.

How could you walk without

them?

So, when's the last time

you really utilized those

toenail clippings?

Toenails and fingernails are

made of a special kind

of protein called keratin,

the same kind of stuff

in a cow's hoof and horns.

Guess that makes us

kind of a "chip off the 'ol heffer!"

Those of you who may be looking

for extra protein in your diet,

don't get any ideas, and for those

of you who already chew, Stop it!

You can't digest the keratin protein.

Just think what's piling up in your gut!!

My grandmother had the right idea. Now hers were toenails to talk about! Those babies were big, wide, and tough! She cut them weekly, and when she got out that razorblade, yeah, I know, but she did, -- I would RUN for cover. It completely grossed me out.

Since then, I've had a baby and raised 250+ kids so I'm over that.

What grossed me even more, was a discovery some years later. I was helping her clean out a drawer and came across a box.

You do not want to open old boxes in your grandmothers underwear drawer.

Sigh, but I did. I've never been the same since. It's probably the reason for my gentle nature. I lost all my desire for wickedness when I saw those yellow, brown, shriveled, hard as a rock big toe clippings.

One might ask "why?" I never did. I was that scared.

I promised God to be good for the rest of my life and I'm still holding to it, though my husband might have a comment or two about that.

I did not want to go to Toenail Clippings Hell.

In an effort to conserve and make "ends meet" due to our rough economy, I've gone out of my way to think of 10 Fabulous Uses for Toenail Clippings.

You can thank me later.

Ladies and Gentleman, I submit to you ~

Ten Fabulous Uses for Toenail Clippings:

  1. You can use the really firm ones to pick your teeth. Save the trees.
  2. You can clean under your fingernails with them, if they're not too sharp.
  3. You can use them to scratch your head, since you've probably clipped your fingernails, too.
  4. You can use them to comb your Andy Rooney eyebrows, and then mail them to him in the spirit of comradery.
  5. You can use them to carve designs in the skin of a lemon, and then use the lemon shavings in your favorite dish or tea.
  6. You can boil them and sip the broth. The Keratin Protein broth you can digest. Do not try this at home, folks.
  7. You can use them to pop pimples.
  8. You can use them to quit smoking. Chewing and sucking on a big toe clipping will last all day.
  9. You can use them to pick your nose, or that of your brother. Leave your sister alone.
  10. You can save them in a box and put them in your underwear drawer for your grandchild to discover years later.
  11. Bonus: tie your clippings together with dental floss; forming a knotted line of clips. Attach this string, or even more, to a hair barrett, and wear them dangling from your hair. Great conversation piece, if you don't mind the stares.

In summary, I'd just like to say that I worked really hard on these suggestions. If you can think of anymore, please feel free to add them in your comments as these tips just might become a best seller.

I'll keep the proceeds, you keep the clippings.

I am Marisue, and I'm sorry to say I wrote this.

see other stories (not weird or un-necessary such as this, though, but living proof that I am normal, after all.)

Comments

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Bob Ewing profile image

Bob Ewing  says:
16 months ago

Now that was funny, scary but funny. :)

Boss Number 1 profile image

Boss Number 1  says:
16 months ago

Okay, this made me laugh and want to hurl all at the same time. Good one...sorta.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
16 months ago

Marisue, this was VERY scary, but totally amusing! :) When I read the title in the email alert I got, I thought, 'No way!' LOL! I'm glad I wasn't taking a sip of coffee as the page loaded. ;)

level1diet profile image

level1diet  says:
16 months ago

My gawd... what toes! Guess yours are the ones that look like m&m's, huh?

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Bob, glad you got a chuckle! LOL this was fun to write.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Boss Number 1 -- I am inclined to regurgitate, myself --- =)))

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Hope!! hmmm coffee stained toenails...that sounds rather good. haha =)))

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

level1diet -- The M & M ones are the only ones getting close to my mouth!!

Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson  says:
16 months ago

Marisue, this was wonderfully written, but GROSS! I shivered and shuddered.

I do know someone who was moving homes...when the movers collected her dresser, they found a nice big pile of toenail clippings that someone had put in her top drawer! She was mortified, and certain it was one of her kids. At least she hoped that was who put them there. I had never heard of this happening to anyone, and now there are two of you. How many more people out there do you think have this experience?

I'm shivering and shuddering....

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

It is creepy. I'm still traumatized. ahahha I shudda saved this for Halloween. LOL

blynn profile image

blynn  says:
16 months ago

I have to admit that when I was a kid I began a collection of nail clippings. It didn't last long when I found out the world was not very accepting of this. I don't know why I did it except that I was madly jealous of my sister's pencil and stamp collections.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi blynn, true confessions, right here !! hahahaha good for you for giving them up...

Nicole Winter profile image

Nicole Winter  says:
16 months ago

I almost couldn't read this article the pictures gave me the heebie-jeebies so bad, mariesuewrites! (I do *love* the M & M's tootsies, though!) Very gross, wickedly funny, LOVE it!

G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson  says:
16 months ago

Yikes...did you have a nightmare or something???? to weird for me.. Thanks anyway sweetie....G-Ma :o) hugs

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

toenails can gross ya out, eh? Sorry, g-ma LOL don't have nightmares...we'll have to think of something cheerful...like homemade ice cream. I'm doing some tonight, it's a countertop freezer...sooo easy. I'll share the recipe soon. Feel better?

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Nicole, My husband and I both laughed over this hub..tooo crazy. It happens when I talk politics too much. Drama Trauma. hahaha

Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot  says:
16 months ago

Oh my goodness. This is completely disgusting and nasty. As soon as I saw the title I had to read, but now I am almost regretting it. I mean not because it was a bad article but those pictures, gross. Except the M&Ms one. :)

Despite how grossed out I was, this was very cute. I would be asking why my Gma had old toenails in her underwear drawer. I would not let her get away with that. Ha-ha. Maybe when you were a child she used them to wipe your bottom, if the weren't too sharp. There is another nasty idea for ya.

My Gma likes looking at feet. When we go get pedi's she is always looking at someone else's feet. I do not know why but they fascinate her. I guess we both have wierd Grandmas.

I will never look at feet the same. Thanks a lot! JK. :) nice work.

Tayler!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Lots of people are fascinated by feet. I am only concerned that mine do not hurt and are well groomed. I hardly ever look at other people's feet and it's all Grandma's fault.

The poor woman stood on her's for hours working hard, but still, sympathy can only go so far. LOL

thanks for reading !! This was so fun, I might do another one...let's seee. 10 uses for elbow dead skin scrapings....

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

You are so the sister of my freakies! I didn't know you had a fascination (or whatever it is) with toenails. Let me tell you a little story.

In 2001 I went off to the beach for 5 months. Took a sabbatical and the cats came with me. Before I arrived, I got a nice pedicure from my daughter, who painted my toenails red, white, and blue, each nail in its own three-colored stripes.

I wasn't about to cut them! They were so pretty. After a month, they became a challenge. The red, white, and blue (you love this Marisue...it's all about the flag) were now preceded by a kind of ugly off-white color where the nails were growing in. So I painted that area in a white-tinted gloss.

After another month or so, they got kind of uncomfortable. When I walked around barefoot on concrete or hard wood or linoleum, they clicked! My solution? Wear platform sandles so the nails could hang over the soles of the shoes. Or just walk in sand, a lot.

But the sand took a toll. So I had to re-gloss all the paint and add some white to the new nail areas growing out. Now keep in mind that this is the beach, so my feet were in salt water every day...no dirt under my nails, no, no!

By the end of the fourth month, things were out of control. I just couldn't maintain this patriotic art. So I had a quiet ceremony, me, myself, and the cats, and cut the suckers off.

No, I didn't save them in a box for posterity. (My daughter knows this story, and it grosses her out even today.)

No, no, no, no! Not elbow scrapings. I hate my elbows and always have. You can't do this to me.

YOU GO, GIRL! Your sister in toenail lore, Sally.

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

One more thing...my wonderful grandmother Ellie-Ellie actually gifted me with her gall stones. She kept them in a little jeweler's box after they were surgically removed. They were quite pretty. I have yet to mount them in a ring or whatever. :)

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

oh my god !! we're starting something here.... "Gross things that people collect!!! that's it the next hub....someone else do it!! I'm running out of creativity here. hahaha I can't believe you let your toenails grow hahha too funny, but I bet they were pretty in the beginning...haha

sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso  says:
16 months ago

Marisue!!!! Are you sure you are not Agrodonkey in disguise. I remember my father had absolutely disgusting toenails. His big toes were about 3mm thich and yellow. He had to cut them with a sidecutter! Seroiusly. as a direct result I visit a podiatrist on a monthly basis. She pampers, cuts and massages my feet. I am due for a visit on Tuesday but now I hsve this vision of the clippings stored in a box! There is a belief amonst our indigenous folk that a hair clipping or a toenail clipping can be used for th purposes of witchcraft (both good and bad).

\Very different hub for you. But you are so versatile!

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

Marisue, they were pretty all through the affair, because of multiple applications of paint. They were, however, very gross to some people, including my daughter, because of their length. Remember seeing some of those news bites about women who had grown their finger nails to an unbelievable 20-plus inches?

sixtyorso, you hit the nail on the head (yuk, bad pun). People's shedded body parts are considered powerful magic in some beliefs and cultures. I think I need to re-investigate my grandmother's beliefs. She may be telling me something, even now, from the grave and after all these years.

What a delightful Hub.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Sixtyorso, after so many serious hubs, I had to blow off some steam. I started thinking about things that were weird and odd, as I'm working on the "odd" book, and this popped into or rather out of my head. stand back...no telling what's next. ahahha

I forgot about the significance of body pieces and hair, in witchcraft. I guess I'll have to throw up toenail clippings out. haahah

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Sally, I do remember those long fingernails people grew - I guess they still do.  I had a fingernail shop in the 80's during the oil boom and one lady walked in for me to "do" her nails.  5 minutes later I saw her.  hahahaha

I didn't do her nails, either.  Freaked me out.  ahahhaha  no witch, here.  just "bewitching!!," eh??

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered...there's a song in there, Marisue.

When you had the shop in the 80s, did you do pedicures, too?  If so, what happened to the da**ed trimmings?  LOL.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

I've heard that song...and it applies to many things I've been feeling lately...I might include that video on a hub somewhere what a great hub title!! You did it again... =)

yes I gave pedicures and so did my staff and we threw the dam...d things out!! down the commode. Poor sewer.

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee  says:
16 months ago

Yuk! Marisue what list can there be left that hasn't been covered on hubpages? This one kind of left me with aeek feeling in my stomach... but again you got a chuckle out of me.

regards Zsuzsy

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
16 months ago

Use number eleven. paint them different colors and you have very durable and reusable confetti. Now thats being green till it hurts!

desert blondie profile image

desert blondie  says:
16 months ago

OOOH WEE...I gave you a 'thumbs up" If only for having the kind of imagination that could create this hub...and I got all the way to the #! thing to do with the clippings. Man, that's as far as I could go...didn't even want to read the comments...I want NICE dreams tonight!!!  ANd that's going to be difficult enough with that first photo you displayed here. BUT, as usual great big ol' KUDOS for having the imagination, skill, humor and just downright bizarre nature to make this topic a HUB --- Yikes!!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Blondie, I just had to do something out of the ordinary. It's like being in an ice cream shop and you go for something like "Spinach and turnip with pecans" hahaha

ewww now that's sickening. =))

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

akeejaho! Nice to see you! Hmmm confetti that could put the eyes out!! A good idea =) this was rather gross, mm? come back soon!!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

ZsuzsyBee It was kinda over the top, but it's got me to thinking about the next one LOL uh o =))) come back soon, guys, I'll try not to gross out too badly. yeah, right!

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

Marisue,

Before I left work yesterday, I checked my gmail. One new hub had been published, and I looked and said Of course! Marisue, who else? But, when I read the title my very first thought was oh no, she didn't! lol Said to myself, HAVE to read that when I get home.

So, here I am at home, reading this uhhhh pardon me, disgusting idea, This was simply over the top. By the time I got to reading Sally's comment, I was in total hysterics, so badly I called her and could barely speak for laughing so hard. I laughed so hard my tummy hurt, had tears in my eyes,,,it's just what I needed.

Soooooo,,,,thanks Marisue, I think :)

Trish

Rudra profile image

Rudra  says:
16 months ago

wow look at those nails

compu-smart profile image

compu-smart  says:
16 months ago

marisue, I think we need to have a quiet little chat! lol

I have to say, the pics here tottaly grossed me out from the breif view i saw! Excepy one! cute!!

But i cannot stand toe nail clippings, mine! yours! anyones! but im sure there are many people who will find at least one of these tip useful!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Trish, I have added toenail clippings to my list of few phobias... =))) isn't this a nightmare of a hub???haahha I'm so glad you released stress tho' with all that laughing, that's what I wanted to do!!! =0

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

I know Compu Smart, I'm considering therapy after all...I couldn't sleep last night, it's that scarey. LOL come back soon, I regret to say there is more...

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Rudra....that picture is so bad...how did she walk?? or sleep? or wear shoes or socks? maybe she was dead....they say nails and hair and even noses keep growing when you die. what a thought. sorry. I do tend to go on and on..... =))

PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts  says:
16 months ago

This is a sick, weird, strange and disgustingly gross hub………and I love it, lol! A former coworker/friend and his fiancée had an engagement party. As a conversation piece, he had a GIANT jar of his toenails from when he was 10 on display set up like an art exhibit. Like an art gallery, the jar was placed on a sculpture base and lit from above with track lighting. His fiancée, who works in an art gallery, set this up. Apparently she was rummaging through his closets and, grossed-out, found this surprised! I think there was a minor argument but she turned it into their advantage, cuz that party ROCKED! Everybody thought the exhibit was a hit and as a souvenir we each got some recent toenails set in resin and turned into a keychain. It was a riot!Anyway I since pondered the fate of 8 billion earthlings toenail clippings and what happens to them. If we swept them all up, I’m not talk’n just from one cutting. But clippings from the beginning of human existence. Granted many have turned to dust, but still others can be named mountain ranges after them! Think about it! Anyway biting and chewing your nails is a good source of self-cannibalistic protein and with a little salsa you could be the next Rachael Ray! On a serious note, those ugly knurly, twisted and curled toenails can be kept trim with a small rotary “Dremel®” tool and assorted attached grinding and cutting-bits. The ground down nails will give off a weird scent of something burning, but at least you can wear shoes again. A podiatrist will charge you an “arm’n a leg”, no pun intended… Well….maybe!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi PaulieWalnuts!! What a delightful funny and gross story yourself!! haahha what a party that was. The thought almost makes me throw up! I take comfort in the thought that so many have held these secrets -- I thought my grandmother was the only one. haahah

I can't think of anything I save that is gross and I'm not going to reveal it here if I did think of something. Some secrets are best left untold.

so glad you shared your rather gross story, too!!!

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

hey marisue,,,,just a thought, how about a hub on earwax? picture 'sculptures', perhaps 'glue', a 'pate' to serve folks you don't necessarily like, a 'spread' on a sandwich, again, for someone you don't like or would like to get even with? or, a new pottery like substance that you could mix with the crud from between your toes? just some weird sick ideas lol

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

TRISH OMGGGGG I'm running to the bathroom to throw up and then back to the computer to work on it...tho some of that shadesbreath could do very well with haahahha just to name one...

Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath  says:
16 months ago

Yack, you need a warning on this thing. Sheesh, I just ate and sat down to read hubs and found THAT. Nonetheless, pretty freaking hilarious after I choked my dinner back down. Now, since reading your list, I know what to do with that nagging piece of roast stuck between my teeth right now. In fact... afk.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

do you have some handy in a box, or ?

I, of course, have none.

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

Oh, how about a sculpture made from dried up boogers held together with earwax? LOL

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
16 months ago

There is something seriously wrong with you....

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi trish this is gettin' worser and worser, but keep going...I'm taking notes!!! the next one is all your fault. =)))

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi funnebone...you of all people I thought would understand.   sniffle    =))))

I just got out of therapy, give me a break, here.

Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison  says:
16 months ago

I think long toenails are gross....and dangerous. I don't know if we need to save the em when we cut em, but cut em we must!

My husband used to think it prevented ingrown toenails if he cut a small v in the middle of his big toenail. I owe the fact that we are still married to his giving up that particular skin-gouging, scar-creating, soft leg desecrating habit.

Can I also add you should wear protective eye-wear if ever in the presence of someone cutting their nails? Yikes.

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

lol Marisue,,,,,I think Funnebone's comment was for me? as you say, it just keeps getting worser and worser LOL,,,,,

I had another idea but I will refrain from posting it. I don't want to be held responsible for folks having nightmares or getting very ill.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Trish, Yes, you've topped my gross-ness ahahhaha what a party this could be!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Rhym -- ewww toenails can be dangerous -- he's lucky he didn't cut himself. that picture up there at the top of the hub grosses me out....I had to post it tho hahaha "glad" you read but sorry it "got"ya hahaha not. LOL

flutterbug77 profile image

flutterbug77  says:
16 months ago

Gross!

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

Marisue, this hub keeps on giving and giving, am sitting here laughing my a** off! too too funny :)

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Sorry Flutterbug77,  I hope you are not traumatized, but I do have a name of a therapist.  I'm feeling much better now....I think,  maybe,   probably.  The last 24 hours were pretty good.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi trish...did you quit throwing up yet? I'm keeping down liquids...

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
16 months ago

LOL,,,,haven't even had the urge to throw up,,,tummy made of steel perhaps? LOL,,,glad to hear the liquids are staying down :)

Am looking forward to your next imaginative hub!  Imagination is something you definitely do NOT lack!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

My next one is Ode to Peanut Butter   look out... gives new meaning to the peaNUT butter sandwich

PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts  says:
16 months ago

Ode to earwax, does it taste like "Yams" er what? ......Sweet Ear-Potato Pie!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Paulie, I'm not gettin' close to it!! ICK

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Paulie, I'm not gettin' close to it!! ICK

talented_ink profile image

talented_ink  says:
16 months ago

I know that you wrote this a couple of days ago, but it's taken me this long to get the stomach to get past that first picture to be able to read this. LOL

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Talented....I know -- that is the most frightening photo!!! Do you notice how the big toenail cuts into the nails of the other two...like it was drawn to them - either as an attack on the little guys...or for companionship, either way...it's icky

So what do you do with yours??

Whitney05 profile image

Whitney05  says:
16 months ago

Rather disgusting. lol. Interesting and funny though. But a very digusting topic.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Whitney,  I'm in total agreement,  ( I do apologize ) truth is stranger than fiction...think of all the people all over the world either sippin toenail tea or doing other secret things with toenail clippings, may they never email me.  =)))

talented_ink profile image

talented_ink  says:
16 months ago

That looks like a witch's foot. Since I'm a writer by day and a crimefighter by night, my toenail clippings are used as ninja stars.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Are you a cop? my husband spent 30 years doing that, as you know by my hubs...-- its good that you have a use for the clippings...you can carry them in your holster and everything, right there by the bullets..."Halt or I'll toss toenail clips at you!"

Makes a 357 magnum shiver.

katelyn Grace profile image

katelyn Grace  says:
16 months ago

Oh, that is just sick. Funny, sad and sick

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Katelyn...It is - It Is - It is. I keep apologizing. However, I am working on more...not toenails, no more of that. Unless....

Cailin Gallagher profile image

Cailin Gallagher  says:
16 months ago

Just goes to show how fascinated we are with ourselves! I'm grossed out and grinning. :)

rmr profile image

rmr  says:
16 months ago

Jeez, you sure got a lot of comments for toenails. Here's another use for ya. After you have boiled them, as advised in your hub, don't throw out the water. Waste not want not, you know. Put it in a spray bottle and apply to face and neck. It's an outstanding insect (or anything else that possesses a nose) repellent.

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants  says:
16 months ago

They also go great with peanut butter!

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants  says:
16 months ago

Since you're on a roll, you should do 10 fabulous uses for opti-goop. You know, that nasty stuff you pluck from the corners of your eyes in the morning.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

rmr !! even more gross@@ - I don't want that yuk on my face and neck LOL man, we are nasty!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi BT - right there is a new recipe for crunchy peanut butter ANOTHER reason for me not to eat that sandwich!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

BT - i'm sitting here gagging. I have a horribly sensitive gag reflex...Hey that's another hub:"10 Fabulous Things That Make You Gag!" coming up soon!! you ARE an inspiration!

I am thinking everything blogs and hubs now...

magnoliazz profile image

magnoliazz  says:
16 months ago

There is a good reason most people are disgusted and grossed out over this toe nail hub. Toenails, fingernails and what lurks under them, such as e coli and staph can make you very ill. Always keep both fingernail and toenails trimmed and clean with a nail brush. If you have overly long or artifical nails you could be making yourself or your family sick. If you work at a place that serves food you probably already know all about this. My friend lost her long fake fingernail in a hamburger when she worked at a fast food place. She got in a lot of trouble, she was sued by the guy who got the hamburger and everything. The place where she worked did not get into trouble because she was not supposed to be wearing fake nails at work. I know it is funny, but it is scary too, and when tested,many people with long fingernails had e coli under them. Put two and two together, it makes sense, although I never thought of it before my friend ended up in touble because of her fake nails.

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

I don't know what possessed me to return to this Hub, but here I am. And my tummy hurts, not because it's sick, but because I'm laughing so hard.

Marisue, I know you have an interest in *101* things, so how about 101 Creative Things To Do With Toenail Parings? (Or did somebody suggest that already?) You could put this Hub out there like Pam did with the SUV. You already have about 50 items, so getting 51 more shouldn't be hard. Then you can sell the *101* article and donate the procedes to under-nail e coli and staph research.

Of course, Magnoliazz is right, not to mention the fungus that can grow there, and that can become a very serious condition. I'm guessing there's plenty of fungus in your first pic.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Sally and Magnoliazz, this did take on a life of it's own!! LOL You know, I should add Magnoliazz's valuable input!! Please people, WASH YOUR FEET AND HANDS, AND NAILS.

Just looking at the top picture is enough to give us all ecoli!! yeeeow!

That's a good idea Sally, I should make this it's own manual, and include all the ways, and then at least one good paragraph about the importance of clean feet...that pic ought to be good motivation...

annemaeve profile image

annemaeve  says:
16 months ago

*chokes back in the sandwich I had been eating when I clicked on this hub*

marisue, you are awesome! Thank you for my gross-out moment of the day. I'm going to go pick dead skin off a horse's you-know-what now. I'll keep it in a box for you. :P

... and just in case you were wondering, Sally's long toenails clacking on the linoleum was the CREEPIEST sound I've ever heard!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi annemaeve!! I can just hear her clicking down around on the tile...LOL isn't this just the gross-est thing!! it keeps getting "worser and worser" No No NO, not the horse's behind, please not that, I'll do anything stop the torture!!! hahahaha

I'm so easy...a real pushover. I have no strength.

StevenM profile image

StevenM  says:
16 months ago

humm...sounds like a serious toenail fetish to me. And that's cool. By the way, I laughed my tail off. Great hub. keep up the good work.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi StevenM I am smiling everyday because this has made others laugh...I'm trying to turn out a new one called -- drumrolll...."10 Fabulously Embarassing Places to Pass Gas." You heard it here first....the announcement, not the gas.....hahahaha

dafla  says:
16 months ago

You should take up a career as a stand-up comic. I love reading these witty hubs. As for toenails, I'm getting to an age when mine are getting much tougher and harder to clip. I'm going to have to buy one of those heavy duty toenail snippers soon. Right now, I just file every day to keep them in check. I know, TMI.

I do not, however, think I will ever start keeping them in a box. Your grandmother must be an interesting woman.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Thank you dafla!! I'm so glad you laughed, that makes my day!! woooo eeee! we need to laugh today, yes?

Toenails are gross sights, but I try to keep mine well groomed... this hub is further motivation@! My grandmother, long deceased, was a hard working woman cut from farm cloth and long hours of labor in gardens and kitchens. I never knew her well, but loved her. She possessed a subtle sense of humor, was a sister to 9 others. That large family laughed and cooked their way thru life.

My grand mother was quick to invite me to stay with her, but I saw her as a somewhat critical woman, yet she never raised a hand to me...and was a good listener. Her life was not an easy one, but she was content I think.

And the best dang cook in the world. =) thanks for allowing me to reflect a bit,

ProCW profile image

ProCW  says:
16 months ago

ICK! as in SICK! haha

Wonderfully creative, but disgustingly gross!

ProCW

My thumbnails are trimmed, so I don't feel bad about giving you a thumbs...UP! :)

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

I've decided that this is a scarey moment in time - this hub is gettin' people!! I've got to clip my toenails, soon, but I might just get a pedicure and hope they throw them away!@!

torino70 profile image

torino70  says:
16 months ago

This is by far the most bizzare hub ive seen so far.......

Squimpleton profile image

Squimpleton  says:
16 months ago

I've actually done number 2 on multiple occasions when I was too lazy to get up and get a nail clipper (those that come with the thing against hangnails, I usually use those to clean under nails...)

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
16 months ago

Then there's how you manage your toenail hygiene (cutting, filing, washing, with confessional descriptions of these management rituals given freely by your commenters).  I remember, years ago, being at the swim club my uncle managed, seeing a young man on a lounge chair beside the pool biting his toenails.  Yes, he had the flexibility to do that.  But he didn't have the modesty to realize what other parts of his body were visible in the process.

So, what I did with my toenails one summer a few years ago (thanks Annemaeve, we know how grossed out you were) pales by comparison.

ROTFLMAO, again!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

torino70, you are so right, it causes me to pale everytime I read it...I'm still glad you dropped in...to the zoned out toenail spa...LOL

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Squimpleton...we take so many chances with the two things that bear our weight. These poor little things show up for work everyday...and get little respect. hahahaha

thanks so much for reading and don't cut yourself!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Sally, what a picture that young man must have been....I am dying just thinking of it. I've seen people put their toenails in their mouth...biting them...and man I do admire the flexibility that takes....haahha ewww the germs tho!!

Yes, we can all be thankful we're not gnawing our toes, or are there more of you out there??

I'll take long nails groomed and cleaned clicking on the tile anyday against toes in the mouth ahahha

this has been a riot!!

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants  says:
16 months ago

Just thought you'd like to know, as of 11:19 DST, 8/7/08, this was the #1 hot hub.

magnoliazz profile image

magnoliazz  says:
16 months ago

Marisue! I keep coming back to this page like you would a bad car wreck! I like your 10 bad places to pass gas idea. I have a hub about a bride who had to wear a diaper, and she passed gas at the altar as she was getting married, due to severe stress of course!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

wow  BT  --- is that cool or what...just shows you how much we like 'gross' hahahaha   thanks for letting me know and for watchin' it!!  =)))

at a wedding would be worse than the elevator...hahahaha

I'll have to read that hub!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

magnoliazz - I'm glad, but aren't we all a bunch of sickies --- hahahah weird toes and bad gas and all !!! LOL you are all the greatest!! =))

torino70 profile image

torino70  says:
16 months ago

Maybe you should be trying to turn the clippings into diamonds instead of the celery or peanut butter?

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

It will have a chapter of honor in the ."..Odd" book....coming soon! You're right, hopefully the clippings will create a few diamonds as well wouldn't that be loverly??

byee profile image

byee  says:
16 months ago

Gross gross and gross! I couldn't really read everything.

Ana Louis profile image

Ana Louis  says:
16 months ago

Best laugh I've had in a long time! I can't type for the tears pouring out of my eyes, and having to hold my stomach so ravoli dosen't spew all over my key board.

A wonderfully creative, halarious, disgusting, and downright creepy hub. Loved it.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

byeee....take some alka-seltzer, it helps, PLEASE COME BACK.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

byeee....take some alka-seltzer,  it helps,   PLEASE COME BACK.  please don't leave, you get used to it after the first few paragraphs...

=))

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Ana Louis - just reading how you laughed is making me laugh and then me laughing is making me laugh harder and now I have to go to the bathroom hahahahha please come back soon....but I think my next hub is going to be something serious....foster kids or something, just to prove sanity...or intellect or

hot air? LOL

R. Martin Basso profile image

R. Martin Basso  says:
16 months ago

That's hot.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi Martin, I just wonder about that poor woman's toes....who could have let that happen??

=)) come back soon!

Pam Pounds profile image

Pam Pounds  says:
16 months ago

Marisue - this is so gross, yet so intriguing....kind of like a car accident, when you can't help but STARE! I'll keep getting my pedicures even when I'm in my nineties...thank you very much!! ;)

mahasson  says:
16 months ago

Interesting, very interesting!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi pam, it really is kinda like a magnet isn't it?? I booked a pedicure for next week...its really healthy and this is good motivation...and I 'm not even asking what they do with the clippings!! ahahha

Hi Mahasson...I do apologize, please read other hubs of mine so you won't think I'm a total nut...ahahha

Pam Pounds profile image

Pam Pounds  says:
16 months ago

ok marisue - you're going to think I'm nuts...but when I get a pedicure - I actually WATCH what they do with the clippings!! They throw them away, of course, but oh my gosh - now I will NEVER sit through another pedicure the same, as compared to before your hub!!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

haahhaha Pam, It's been changed forever!! The poor woman in the picture in this hub surely could have used a pedicure. When my nails get very long at all...my toes get sore..I don't know how this woman stood it...she obviously didn't walk or scrub her toes. I cant wash mine enuff now haahhaha we are all going to do a better job of caring for our feet now!

I wrote a story for children some year ago...about teamwork, and cooperation...and it was called "The Battle of the Toes!" Wonder if I should try to recreate it and post it here...after this it would be a refreshing ending!!

MimiGee profile image

MimiGee  says:
16 months ago

Very scary toenails indeed! Although I would really think twice about picking my teeth with them!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

Hi MimiGee!!! I try very hard not to do any of these disgusting things....hahaha surrrrrre. come back soon!!!

epifanny profile image

epifanny  says:
16 months ago

omg i nealy passed out.. yukky.. i will also be viewing my visits to my podiatrist and pedacurist more closely.. the pictures really freaked me out..

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

epifanny - thank you for reading!! this hub grossed all of us out hahaha and I too, keep my nails in healthy condition, especially after writing this haahha

GloSlow  says:
16 months ago

wow, this is so funny. do you have these fits often? Keep writing.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

I just added a bonus 11th tip. More important uses for toenail clippings...just what we needed, with the hurricane coming.

Marina Rosa profile image

Marina Rosa  says:
16 months ago

YUCK! This Hub should be rated "V", as in "Vomit" - but you certainly got my attention!

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
16 months ago

well the m & m toes are cute can't say much for the first picture 'cept GAG. LOL

rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe  says:
11 months ago

as disgusting as your uses for used toenails were, it was extremely funny.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites  says:
11 months ago

HiRockinjoe, I'm ashamed to admit I laughed hysterically as I wrote it...that's so disgusting, eh? LOL thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it....it was a blast to write.!! =))

shannon  says:
5 months ago

You may wont to go and do stuf to them

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