Rori hops up and puts her paws on the keyboard. Using KT's lap as a chair, she starts typing:

Well of course cats are superior to dogs! What dog can do this, or even think of doing it? I keep my own journal on the computer; in fact, all of us felines here do. So, here are my picks for the top 10 reasons we rule and dogs drool!

Sure, my uncle Skylar and my aunt Tabby can scream when they choose, but at least we cats don't shout our heads off over every little thing.  Dogs have to keep a running commentary about everything:  cars, people going by, even if a leaf falls!  Cats only use our voices when necessary:  needing food, needing water, wanting to know where the humans are.  Other than that, we are quiet, at least to human ears. 

We pretty much set our own schedule.  If a human's around, we take their schedule into consideration when planning ours, but mostly our time is our own.  Leave a bowl of food and one of water out, and we'll eat when we choose and drink water when we choose.  We'll use the litter box when we need to, without making a big fuss over it.  When the humans are sitting still, we may go up and sit on a lap to be petted, but on our terms, not yours.  We play when we want, sleep when we want, and prowl when we want. 

What is this with walks, anyway? Why do dogs need permission to take a walk, and have to have a human along? Cats go on walks by ourselves, and we don't need leashes, halters, collars (ok, collars are a good thing sometimes), or special whistles. Aunt Tabby goes out on a leash and harness sometimes, but that's when she's working at the retirement home. That's different. If we want to walk, we walk!  Besides, when we want to go out with our humans, we go in style.  We stroll!  We take our stroller to the vet and to the pet store, and Tabby goes in the stroller to her work.  That way, we ride and get to see everything, and our humans do all the work.

Ever seen a cat with a ball launcher?  No way, it would be an insult to our dignity!  The best toys in the house are bottle caps, milk rings, wadded up pieces of paper, and fleece strips!  When bored, we go find a toy from our secret hidden stash, and play.  We don't need anyone throwing things for us to fetch, or choosing for us which toy we play with.  I play fetch occasionally, but I bring the selected toy to the humans, not the other way around.  I do this for their good, because they can use the feline influence.  Hey, they might be bored then, too! 

This is a big one for us cats.  We are fastidious groomers.  We clean our own ears, coats, paws, and private parts.  We even clean each other.  No need for baths, smelly shampoos, and no NASTY wet dog smell!  If we smelled like THAT, there would be something seriously wrong, and we would be (ahem) begging our humans for a bath from them, not fighting them for it!  We do like to be brushed, but that's more of a feline-human bonding experience than coat care.

We also don't get into all the stuff that dogs get into.  When is the last time you saw any self-respecting feline in a mess of poop or rolling around in a dead animal carcass?  And don't even get me started on the eating poop thing that dogs do!  How disgusting! 

Speaking of self-respect, when is the last time you saw a cat bow to a human?  We don't slobber all over them, cater to their every whim, or rely on them to give us everything we need socially.  Cats in pairs or more will take care of our own social needs, thank you kindly.  We will, however, befriend humans.  We will come to you for petting, curl up in your lap to say thank you, and even purr for you.  None of this is because of what you do for us; it is because you are you and we respect you as a separate entity. 

We all know dogs, even the smaller varieties, need places to run around, their own yard preferably, and parks or walking areas nearby, as well as places to do their business. Cats are much more compact. We're physically smaller, so we can live two to an apartment, if needed. We prefer space, but as long as we have at least two rooms we get along fine (depending on how many other entities are in the house). With that said, don't crowd us by putting too many of us in a small space together.

Our "stuff" doesn't take up much room either. Just a box for each cat, plus one more, and our food and water bowls. A place to hide is nice, too. We will find the other things we need for ourselves: pillows, blankets, a nice sunny window to nap in. We don't need to go outdoors, and are actually safer and happier being inside. We can watch the world from the window, thank you! 

Ok, so we scratch.  So, get us a scratching post and keep our nails trimmed.  At least we don't go through the trash, shred papers, take your dirty laundry and tear it up, or make messes on the nicely-made bed if we stay inside all day.  We are well-mannered.  The only time we have issues with you or your stuff is when there is a REAL problem, like the litter box not being scooped when it needs to be.  And then, we just leave a small present in a strategic place and get on with our lives.  We might leave you a hairball sometimes, too, but that is beside the point.  Actually, at our house, my aunt Sara puts her hairballs and vomit in the litter box, too. 

So, you think that a plus to having dogs is that they do tricks?  We cats can do tricks for humans, too.  Aunt Tabby puts her paw up to ask to be petted, and we all come, sit and lie down on command.  You have to be patient, but we can learn all the tricks any dog can do.  We just might not do them all the time for you. 

I know this is subjective, but aren't we just the cutest things?  Our humans certainly think so!  Much better than those slobbery, smelly, whiney, dog things.