Sure, we live in a me, me, me society. And, yes, it's healthy to love yourself, set personal goals, draw boundaries and look out for numero uno. However, just like anything else in life, some people take this self-love stuff way too far.

Those people are more than likely narcissists. Fun word, eh, especially if you have a very slight lisp like me. But, I will tell you what is not fun -- finding out that the handsome, charming guy you are mega-into and starting to care about is a narcissist.

So, unless you are a narcissist and enjoy the company of another narcissist so you can delight in yourself, first, and your love interest, second, here are five red flags that you are dating a narcissist (in no particular order).

For the sake of simplicity, this article is written as if for a female who is trying to figure out if she is dating a guy who is too into himself. This alleviates the whole 'he' or 'she' business. If you are a male who is reading this, you may want to substitute 'she' for the word 'he.'

RED FLAG 1 - PRINCE CHARMING IS TOO CHARMING

He is handsome and charming in a way that does not sit quite right. After a short time around him, you notice that he seems to find himself to be more charming than you, or anyone else for that matter. He consistently tries to outcharm anyone who will come within two feet of him at a social function. Signs of this may include the following:

• Overuse of the word 'dear'
• Intermittent expressions (e.g., 'as it were') used in everyday conversation
• Overwinking. No doubt, winking on occasion can be attractive and even good fun. Heck, I would be a hypocrite if I did not admit the use of a wink here or there. However, overwinking occurs when someone winks every few seconds, in an effort to add a nonverbal asterisk indicating that whatever he just said was, in essence, clever.
• Frequent unnecessary dramatic flourishes, such as "ahhh" or "Voila"
• Laughs at almost everything he says almost all of the time. This is similar to overwinking. A bit of laughing at your own clever remarks or jokes is fine. Too much laughing quickly becomes too-amused-with-self.

RED FLAG 2 - GETTING TO KNOW YOU IS ONE SIDED

Be very clear on this one. You more than likely are dating a narcissist if he spends 80 percent of the 'getting to know you' conversations on himself, only occasionally pausing to ask you a question because he senses he needs to do so.

Years back, in the early stages of a very brief and very doomed foray into dating an egomaniac, I sat through two hours or so of a guy telling me about the early years of his life, the high school years, the college years and then the career years in chronological order!

What was I thinking not to R-U-N as quickly as possible from that self-absorbed autobiographer? I mean, really. And, his life wasn't all that interesting to add insult to injury. No minor arrests. No boarding school mysteries revealed. No great athletic accomplishments. The real kicker: no references to great bands! (If you are wondering what kept me around for a few more weeks, refer to RED FLAG 1.)

RED FLAG 3 - HE LOVES TO TAKE ALL THE TIME

It's true that it's more fun to give than to receive. However, this can wear a bit thin when you are dating someone who does not remotely understand this concept. In fact, it would never cross his narcissistic mind.

This 'taker' mentality can show up in various forms, especially around holidays. A narcissist is perfectly fine with digging in his gift bag to see if there is another item in there, other than the $150 shirt you just gave him, all while telling you he did not have time to shop for a present for you.

The taker will always show up for anything involving him, but rarely think about what your needs may be - unless you spell it out for him. Even then, it will be short-lived as the narcissist thinks only of himself.

RED FLAG 4 - EASILY BORED, UNLESS THE SPOTLIGHT IS ON HIM

I will admit it. Sometimes, to put it mildly, other people bore me a bit. However, many people do not, thankfully. While being in the front seat is fun, I can happily sit in the back seat amongst friends, too.

Not being the center of attention is very hard for a narcissist because this personality type loves himself so much. If your guy seems bored whenever the conversation is not centered on him, then he is probably far more into himself than necessary.

You can often spot this type of behavior when someone gets a glazed over look when others are talking but suddenly lights up when it's his turn to talk or the focus is on him.

Keep in mind that this red flag is referring to an extreme attention seeker. Don't confuse this narcissistic trait with a healthy enjoyment of attention. Nothing wrong with that! Nor should you expect someone to be overly into what you or others are saying. Heck, if you are like most people, you already have a therapist -- no need to date someone who is trying to play one.

A narcissist genuinely has no interest in what others are saying, but occasionally pretends to be engaged in something else just to appear less in love with himself. Don't worry. Like any other actor, their true colors will show soon enough, and you can leave them and their self-interest in the dust as you make your getaway!

RED FLAG #5 - USES 'I' WITH ABNORMAL FREQUENCY

If we are really honest, we all like to talk about ourselves and our experiences. While some do this more willingly than others, a narcissist will go on ad nauseum about himself. And, if you are dating him, you are the number one target to hear all of the sentences starting with "I."

All I (sorry) can recommend on this one is that if you take note of excessive use of the first person with great frequency, then you (okay, that's better) should be wary.

The reason a narcissist uses "I" so frequently is that he truly sees the world as his oyster and values his viewpoints and opinions far more than those of others.

To wrap things up, if you find yourself shaking your head in agreement that three or more of these red flags are excellent descriptors of the person you date, you really may want to consider finding another soul mate.

Seriously, a couple is about two people sharing life and ideas. That's hard to do if one of those two people is mostly just in love with himself.