10 Signs he's committed to remaining single
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How to know if he's a confirmed bachelor
You've met the man of your dreams, handsome, hunky, funny, entertaining and he has a job. God, he's perfect. But, while you might think he might be your ideal partner, he's already found his ideal partner - himself. He likes his appearance. He must do as he checks out his looks whenever he goes past a mirror. He finds himself entertaining as he laughs at his own jokes. He agrees with everything he says. He's his own best friend, how can there be any space left in his life for you?
Before you get too involved and start feeling that 'L' word, have a think about whether or not he's showing any of these signs that he's committed to remaining single. Bachelor for life. Many women knock men and say that most are commitment-phobic. The truth is, is that that isn't really true. Most men do desire to settle down at some point, raise a family, do the whole scene, it just not might be with you, or, they may feel they still have more living to do before they are absolutely certain that they have found 'The One.' The problem with a confirmed bachelor, is that he has found 'The One,' himself. Nobody else will quite measure up.
1. Virtual Life.
He can't meet you as he has an appointment with some guy in Mongolia playing War Brides or some other game on the internet. Check out his computer and if you find out that most of his friends and relationships are virtual ones, be afraid. Be very afraid. If he has an account at Hubpages, run. Don't worry to close the door behind you when you leave.
2. Mommy's Boy.
He can't meet you as he has to go to his mommy for dinner as she's cooking him his special stew which no other person can ever copy. Worse still, he'll be late for your date as he has to pick up his laundry that mommy did for him. Of course, if you're sleeping in his bed after a hectic night of passionate sex and his mother comes in to make his bed and clean his apartment, get his skateboard out his wardrobe and hightail it out of there! It's probably a bit of an oedipus complex thing going on there.
3. Ex-girlfriends
Sometimes it's good to chat to his friends and find out a bit of the history with the ex-girlfriends. If there's a pattern of his relationships not working, and him putting on his spikes to sprint down the road when the girlfriends start to make nesting noises, then the chances are he won't change for you. It's a fallacy that leopards change their spots. Love just blurs your vision and hides the spots for a bit. They're still there.
4. Busy Boy
If he has some serious hobbies, be afraid. Unfortunately, nothing will come between him and a serious hobby. Not even if you stand naked on the table and swing on the chandeliers with a strawberry glued onto each nipple. If he has hobbies and plays sport, say goodbye and leave. Imagine, Tuesday and Thursday night playing squash. Sunday morning, cycling with his cycling club. Friday night, poker with his friends. Monday is scrapbooking club. He has such a balanced lifestyle already, where on earth will he fit you in? Do you really want to compete with all that?
5. Girlie Posters
If he has a large porn collection, then you know what his ideal woman is like and no matter how deep your throat, you just won't measure up. However, it is not only porn that should send shivers up your spine and make you head out the door. If he has girlie posters, nude girl calendars, artistic nude paintings of the female form, then he has this vision of the perfect woman in his head. No matter how pert your little breasts, how long and shapely your legs, how majestic your curves, how stunning your personality, you will never be the same as the calendar girl or girlie poster.
6. Rolling Stone
If he loves traveling and likes to go abroad on exotic holidays, or has a job that causes him to travel, he has probably got a girl in every port. A man who is a travelholic is not inclined to settle down with a white picket fence, golden retriever, six kids and help you to hang the washing on the line. He is not cut out for such a mundane existence of so-called 'domestic bliss.' The old adage says, "A rolling stone gathers no moss." I'm afraid even if you looked like Kate Moss, he ain't going to commit. Not while he still has jetpacks attached to his shoes.
7. Straight or bent
If he loves shopping and his place shows good taste in decorating and furnishing, and he is a neatnik, then there is a chance he is as bent as a little old lady carrying a 30kg backpack, but just doesn't know it yet. Contrary to what most people think, not all gays know they're gays. Some are just asexual and are not interested in either sex. Some might go their whole lives thinking they like women, but at night they dream about Tom Cruise in his y-fronts in Risky Business.
8. Trackpants a no-no
He might look quite dapper for work and when going out on dates, but if he's a slob in his down-time and you visit him and he's wearing torn t-shirts with Wendy's sauce stained down the front and baggy trackpants, then he's really a slob and enjoys being relaxed in his own company. There won't be place for you there either.
9. Absence of female friends
If he's a man's man and only hangs out with the boys, doing the club thing and wild drinking sessions with the boys where they take photo's of each other with firecrackers stuck up their rectums, there has to be a reason why he has no female friends. Of course, if he only has female friends then he's gay and doesn't know it. So, when you are out on a date with the friends, check to see how many are female. If there aren't any. Run!
10. Future Freak
If you've been seeing him for a month and casually mention something about the future, and he immediately lights a cigarette even if he doesn't smoke, or has to race off to the toilet, or suddenly sees someone he knows, then be warned. Talking about the future makes him freak-out and reach for his running shoes. You need to beat him and reach for your running shoes first!
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Comments
Hey, thanks for the advice on how to dump a frump.
Mind you, you don't give us blokes much chance:
If I'm neat (which I'm not) - I'm gay;
If I'm a slob (yep) - I'm gay.
If I hang out with guys - I'm gay.
If I hang out with girls - I'm gay.
If I have hobbies (other than sex) - I'm gay.
If my hobby is sex, I'm a crazed maniac - who's hiding the fact that that I'm gay.
If I go on exotic holidays - I'm gay.
If I stay at home with Mummy - I'm gay
(If I stay at home with Daddy we're both gay)
Have I missed anything?
And what the hell am I so gay about anyway if I'm a sodding poof?
Mind you, I did spend some time "sleeping" with someone who was Gay, but she wasn't gay.
BTW, I LIKE the image of the girlfriend swinging from the chandelier adorned in strawberries, but if it rips from the ceiling and she ends up in a fat heap on the floor covered in bits of plaster, she's probably been pigging out and will end up built like a sumo wrestler by the time she's forty. Where's the running shoes?
Love and kisses, TOF
He loves me, He loves himself, He loves me, He loves.........
just the right info here, Cindy
Cindy you're hysterical. I thought a guy that doesn't want to settle down was exactly what I needed about now. But now that I've read WHY he doesn't want to settle down I'm scared. Thanks for the chuckles.
Dang. A sobering hub (if I were not laughing so hard at your wonderful examples and analogies). You speak the truth, Cindy, the truth. . .
Ha, ha, ha, Cindy, YOU ARE EXCELLENT! Thumb up! The truth is the truth, you can be relationship counselor, you are great.
Just to add: the guy who wants to settle down will show that, will mention that possibilitiy on the beginning.
Thanks for making me laugh, the biggest value you have is that you are able to present the truth on so funny way! You are great writer!
Good luck with the guy in the top pic, in keeping with TOF's theme, he is gay!
So basically, 99% of all men out there are either emotionally unavailable or gay. Or emotionally unavailable and gay. Sad. But sooo funny!!!
Now that you have covered every guy on Earth as being unacceptable, I think women need to move to a new planet and check out what's on offer there.:P
Quite a few men in India suffer from the Oedipus complex. Indian women just accept it or they would run short of bridegrooms.
I didn't know I was gay. Thanks for outing me in my own mind. Can't wait to tell the wife.
Haha .... great hub! But I think all guys, at least the worthy ones suffer many of the symptoms!
Which man would want to get married and 'settle down' if he knew how to charm calendar girls into decorating themselves with strawberries and trapeze swinging for him?! :p
LOL, pay attention to what Cindy's saying Jaspal...she speaks words of infinite wisdom.
Well done Cindy...you obviously speak from experience!
Always so pleasing to wake up to so many comments on a hub! Glad most of you found it meaningful and sensible lol Hey TOF, might have to write a hub on 10 ways to dump a frump. I quite like that title, thanks for that! Paper Moon, must admit, anybody who looks as good as that guy in the top pic just has to be gay. Christoph, you might be one of the exceptions to the rule. Will have to check with your wife. Jaspal, if a man is wanting a calendar girl covered in strawberries on a trapeze.....no further comment needed lol
This so call man that you described sure sounds familiar to me! I'm glad to recieve these helpful tips from the ya. I definetely don't want to put up with a guy like that?!
I'm of the opinion that most people decide before they are born which sex they want to be and that they most often have chosen the sex they have incarnated into most of their lifetimes either male or female. If you believe in reincarnation they are born that way as a result of some karmic retributiion for how they treated gay people in a previous life or they made the conscious decison to be born in the body of the opposite sex for at least one of two reasons.
1.They want to have sex without having children,and this is a surefire way to accomplish that,not that it is a decision they would remember while discarnate.
2.They are really mixed up as to which sex they really want to be,they could be bi-sexual
OBVIOUSLY JUST MY OPINION
Sorry, someonewho'snose but as I told Countrywoman way back before she married, I don't believe in reincarnation. - I used to, but that was in another life.
Cheers, TOF
Great advice Cin gee I have not seen you for ages have you been busy? Miss ya.
May, those guys are probably quite rare, most guys want to settle down eventually.
Someonewhoknows, reincarnation, eh? Maybe they were a pig in a previous life?
TOF, Trinations coming soon! Springboks played a shocker yesterday against the Lions!
Blonde, been getting my son settled into his uni and doctor's appointments, now a whole week of doctor's appointments and my shipment arrives, another busy week ahead and I'm supposed to be on holiday!
Funny but so true. Mind you most men are in there somewhere
it's a great advice, good one, cindy :)
these signs are true if it is over the limits
Oh boy...Cindy! Nice and very entertaining!
Thanks Ethel and Mezo!
Hi Jodi! Howya doing? Glad you enjoyed the hub. Think I need to work on TOF's suggestion.
Cindy, your hub was hilarious and I LOL quite a bit. I think everyone liked your se of words in describing the flying chandlier and strawberries or something like that. You really need to join Adsense and earn for such good creative work.
Hi Linda, am going to make a concerted effort to join adsense now I've left China!
Man or woman, a person without a hobby is a bore. While I understand your point is that a person needs to make room in life for a relationship, I don't understand how being committed to a personal interest is something negative -- unless its gambling. Generally, I regard it as a demonstration of not taking life for granted. I bike, take vacation at least twice a year (sometimes solo), knit, do stained glass and am very involved with community service. These activities contribute very much to who I am and I'd would be out the door faster than a bee to pollen if my boyfriend expected me to forfeit these interests.
Ty dyed windows?
Ty, I understand what you're saying, but the point I was trying to make is if your boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter, has so many commitments on, that they only have one night a week free for you, then that will be a problem. Now the activities you mentioned, show that you are a well-balanced individual, and they are not going to be keeping you so busy every evening, that you won't have time to socialise with your boyfriend, otherwise, he would feel neglected.
TOF, yeah right lol
I have to say I really enjoyed reading that, poor men get a hard time these days, but sure it is there own fault ha ha...... xx
Exactly, Brenda! Don't worry, I'll balance this with a nice one for them!
O.K. Men just cant help it, maybe that is why we love them so much, because they need us females so much even the gay ones, though they don't even know it......
Yep, even Tom Hanks had to have a football as his friend on Castaway. Men just don't survive if they're all alone.
Ups Cindy! I've just discovered that I am committed to remaining single. I think that explains a lot about myself.
Most men are gay according your article? Better dump the wife and find a new fling with a crank. ROTFL. WOMEN!!!! Are you single and angry?
Hey Princessa! I think I'm commited to being single as well!
Allmenaresecretlygay, out of ten signs to look out for, only one was about the fact the men might be gay, so not sure where you get me saying that most men are gay. Strange that that's the sign you focused on and used to sum up the article. Are you hiding something from your wife?
You forgot Mood Swings Boy, great hub as always !
Yep, mood swings can be a bit of a bummer. Now are these female PMS mood swings or men's testosterone swings?
Hilarious!! I do see where you're coming from though, as relationships do take work to work and involve commitment, time and energy.
Marco, anythig in life that's worthwhile, takes time, work, commitment and energy!
Very funny - cant wait to show this hub to my boyfriend )))))
Yeah Balinese, but you'd better not show him my How to dump a frump hub, as it might give him ideas you don't want him to have!
LOL... great hub, very entertaining!
As always, great hub! Your writing is impressively diverse.
Is your real name Blanket? Couldn't help but ask because of the Michael Jackson kid-like mask! :)
This a very funny hub Cindy. Great writing!
Lilian, glad I could bring a smile to your dial!
LG, thanks for the compliment. I do try and write many different types of hubs. Unfortunately, the more serious ones do not get the same amount of traffic, but then, at least they get traffic from people who are interested in what they say.
Popintervention, nope, not Blanket! Gosh, need to change that avatar again, that bright pink hurts my eyes.
Writer Rider, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
" If he has an account at Hubpages, run."- this sounds like a diagnosis, haha.
Could very well be, ReuVera lol!
I do think, though, that fitting into a couple of your catagories is OK. My other half adores shopping for me, and with me, far more than I do. His patience for fabrics, cut, tailoring and fit is far greater than mine. He also likes buying make-up and perfume (for me, not him). And after nearly 12 years together, I'm sure he's not gay (-:
He was also a travel-freak when we met - just back from a year in India. But then, so was I, I was just back from a year in Poland. We travelled a lot together, to Mongolia, Russia, Israel, Turkey, Portugal etc, and plan to take our son to India in the next year or two!
I love India, had the best holiday ever there! Yes I agree, most men fit into some of the categories. I guess, the problem comes in when they fit into too many of the categories and don't have much time for you!
You struck a chord there, is that some of my computer art you are wearing?
It looks like it, doesn't it, Katyzzz! Lol!
It's a great hub, though, I laughed out loud! How often have you been to India?
LG, just went to India once, ended up starring in a Bollywood movie as an extra and had an awesome time in Goa!
Thank you cindy, now I am off to read the next one. I understand what you are saying and cannot thank you enough! MWAH! Love ya, girl!
Hey Kari! One has got to be a bit more selectivie when settling on a man. You are too good to just settle on anyone.
In defense of Man........ I object to the intimation that I am likely gay because I have a HP account. Clearly you have no appreciation of Bumble Town Men!!
Good Hub Cindy... You should have battered your mountain oysters when you had the chance mate!! lol.
Hey Pearly! I love Bumbletown men, even if they don't have a clue how to play rugby! I did to a hub devoted to men called How to dump a frump!
Cindy my love, how did you know? Great hub! Lol
Cute! I'm not sure all of them are dead on, but this was such a fun read Cindy. :)
Thanks!
RK, it has to be from experience lol!
Pam, am glad you enjoyed the hub!
That was the most rediculous load of tripe i ever read.
I could not be paid to listen to such narrow-minded,paranoid,rediculous crap.
I feel you are prehaps a paranoid lesbian who had no father,never had a male friend and constructs 'advice' from 14 year old girl's magazines.
James, you seem to be suffering from a sense of humour failure. I might just send a fatherless paranois lesbian over to help!
hehehhe i love this article very very useful
Lindalatif, thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Hub a dub dub, three men in a tub
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Gypsy Willow says:
4 months ago
Oh what sensible advice, !