10 Tips for Successful Panhandling
85A Lesson From the Naked Cowboy
A Bit Worried?
If you're like me, you've been watching Wall Street tank, people lose their jobs and their homes, and banks roll over and die. And thoughts of the Great Depression have been flashing through your head like an old newsreel. Well, I'm here to tell you that it might be a good idea to brush up on your panhandling skills. Lucky for you, I found my dusty copy of the Panhandling Etiquette Guidebook, so let's review its 10 Tips for Successful Panhandling.
1. Never Panhandle in Evening Clothes or a Business Suit
No one cares how successful you once were. If you want spare change, dress the part, for God's sake.
2. Look for High-Traffic Areas
Look for panhandling locations where people still have change to spare. That means, stay away from Wall Street, high sub-prime mortgage neighborhoods and financial institutions. Instead, look for vacation resorts like Palm Beach and Disney World.
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3. Learn a Second Language
And make sure it's a European language. Europeans have money to burn, and still seem to be more than willing to spend it on Americans.
4. Come Prepared to Converse with Donors
It's helpful to have a good story when you're panhandling. It's the law of supply-and-demand - people want something for their money, so the taller the tale, the better.
5. Bring Show-and-Tell Items
A photo of your family, a poorly lettered sign, a tin cup. All of these accoutrements can help you to divert attention away from other panhandlers and back to you - the deserving panhandler who did his homework.
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6. Show off a Talent
If you play an instrument and it hasn't been seized by the government or taken to the pawn shop, then bring it with you and perform. If you're an artist, bring your tools. This isn't the Miss America Contest - talent actually counts.
7. Make Eye Contact
Look people in the eye. If you make eye contact with passersby, they might actually make eye contact with you. Not likely, but anything's possible.
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8. Be Realistic
Don't set your expectations too high. If someone throws a dime into your violin case, be thankful. If it's a dollar, be gracious. If it's a tuna fish sandwich, take a lunch break.
9. Make This a Family Activity
Make panhandling a family activity. Just like they do on "The Apprentice," form a panhandling team and assign jobs to everyone. The kids can make signs, grandma can be on lookout for the cops, and you can concentrate on counting the money.
10. Hide Your Money
At the end of a long day of panhandling, remember to put your earnings away for safekeeping. Under your mattress.
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Comments
Ha -- thanks, Jim. Hope you got the joke, which you obivously did. Yes, we taxpayers are going to get hit pretty hard. I see the Naked Cowboy in NYC all the time and often wonder what kind of car he drives. I'd be willing to bet it's nicer than mine.
And if all else fails, show some skin. Ta-tas earn beads at Mardi Gras, or so I've heard. I'm sure that flashing 'em would be an effective panhandling technique.
Great hub!
Hey -- not a bad idea! I guess your success will heavily depend on how your ta-tas look.
SO FUNNY...
Thanks, Denise! Appreciate the comment, especially since writing funny is so damned hard!
So glad I found this information and comments. it occured to me to try panhandleing several times in the past. But I think I finally have talked myself into it and am going to try it. I guess my worry is getting harrassed by cops or teenagers though. So once I get that under my belt I am going to try it. I would rather have a full time job but have found nothing for a month and have a job working 2 days a week. The money does not stretch.
And there are those of us out there having lost our jobs and trying to keep our bills paid while at the same time looking for work. My MA, LSW, & LICDC are all absolutely worthless at this present moment. As for vehicles, I was lucky enough to pay it off just before loosing my job and it requires gasoline and repair. Anyone who thinks standing in that hot global sun is easy work is sadly mistaken. I would gladly trade you your job.
Deb and Angela: Hope things improve for you soon! Believe me, this list of tips was meant totally tongue-in-cheek. But thanks for your comments.
I am so ashamed of myself that in the above message I forgot to thank and share my gratefulness to God and all those persons who actually care. Secondly, this is for Deb: given my prior work history and things I heard from clients I too was leary of police officers. I have quickly changed my mind on that though. They are all very nice and I am grateful they actually go through as often as they do.
Well even in a high traffic area doesnt mean lots of money that could be the worst spot. But the cops is the main thing you have to watch for. I almost got a couple of tickets spot them as they spot you and walk away not to fast and make eye contact with them and give them athumbs up stating you see them watching you. I found some of the low volume areas are the best
The panhandlers should work. I know they may earn more money begging, by I work and have my self respect.
i used to make about $250 a day flying a sign. I was lucky enough to have a car so I just went to out of the way towns and flew at thier walmarts. god that money was good...now i have a job and it takes me all week to make what i made in one day being homeless.
jim10 says:
14 months ago
you are right you definitely need to dress the part. I used to go into Boston for school all of the time. It seemed like one of the best places for panhandlers. It seemed funny how each one had their own spot. Some were very nice and didn't seem to mind that I had very little to give. I had baby at home and was still in school. I was usually more generous in the cold or snow and I felt really bad for them then. Well about dressing the part. I went into convenient store and some guy in a suit and tie held the door for me and asked if he could have my change on my way out. I think I actually laughed at him. I'm not sure if anyone gave him anything but I would doubt it. I saw a news story once about a few people that would live in the suburbs but went into NY and panhandled for a living. They guy dove a Mercedes for crying out loud. Here I am working hard and dumb enough to pay taxes.