Judgemental People
78Why do people have to be so judgemental? Why is it so difficult to just accept people as they are? This is something that drives me nuts! Passing judgements on someone because of the clothes they wear, or the vehicle they drive, where they shop or don't shop or the music they listen to. I just don't understand this!
I raised my girls to be accepting of other people because of their differences. If everyone were created to be the same person, what kind of world would this be? A very boring one! Different lifestyles, fashion sense, hairstyles, values, cultures. Its what makes the world go around. And just what makes these judges the perfect ones anyway?
I think it is more important to reach out to differences than to push them away. Differences can make life much more fun, not to mention interesting. Small, shallow minds. They must increase their awareness. Value the opportunity to know something different from your norm. Life is what we make it. This is not a cookie cutter world and things are far from perfect. All we can do is to make our little corners of it a little bit nicer.
NOTE:
I had considered changing this a bit, but I have decided that an explanation of where I am coming from would be better. I have known people, young people that would only consider dating someone that has a nice ride, or dresses a certain way. If they don't have their hair a certain way, live a certain lifestyle or conform to what some of these people think, then they aren't even worth getting to know! The claim is that everyone is entitled to their own style as long as it is these peoples' style. I think this is ridiculous!
In my car, I listen to all types of music, rock, rap, country, classic rock, easy listening, you name it, I listen to it. Things are fine as long as the music is what this one person likes, but change to an unfamiliar genre, and it is classified as scary music. I have been dealing with this attitude for a very long time, and I have finally gotten my gut full of it.
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I just think that people should be more of a mindset to a win win situation, then this world would be a much better place. You are welcomed to be a judgemental person, you have that right. I also have the right to choose not to be associated with you. That is not a judgement, that, my friend is a decision and a personal choice!
Mike, I appreciate your comments, and you make some good points, but I think you missed mine. Hope my explanation clears that up for ya! Have a really great day!
Video or not,being judgemental is the ultimate of choice and it is free.
I am very judgemental towards women and give them no second chance.
I love good looked after feet,teeth and hands,if a toe nail is slighty out(not properly manicured),than I am instantly on the defence.
A slightly crooked nose or a large mouth(provided the smile does not show the top gum) is immaterial,the same applies to cup sizes.
You could say it is a defence mechanism to prevent ME from becoming a punk in marriage at a later stage,when love has flown out the window.
I bet you didn't expect those rather bizarre comments. I am on a personal quest this year to be less judgemental. It is a habit that most of us has and is surprisingly hard to break. Since we all have more in common than we have not in common, I am starting by seeking out the commanalities in the people that cross my path. For example, all moms have things in common, all Americans have things in common. All earthlings have things in common.
I even heard a news story about people judging pregnant women who are not wearing a wedding ring. I had to laugh at that one because I was pregnant twice and never wore my wedding ring because my hands swelled up and it didn't even fit. Many people don't wear wedding rings because it's a safety hazard at work.
I also had to laugh when I find that many people will judge someone by their shoes. How ridiculous.
Sign me: Barefoot by choice.
Bizarre is really great sometimes! I enjoyed your thoughts! I believe that a certain amount of being judgemental is okay, but I also believe that some people take it to extremes and as a result, they miss people that could have such a wonderful impact on their lives. I too, could not wear my wedding rings pregnant and I am sure that I was judged as well. Thanks for your comment and have a great day! :)
That was an interesting topic, but being judgemental doesn't mean being stupid, mind you. Sure, a lot of people judge others simply because they were stupid, ignorant and know nothing, but if you analyze them properly, i'm sure they're being judgemental for a reason. To put it more simply: I've got three maids in my house who are really ignorant of each other and when they saw me eating a hamburger out of the refrigerator they told me: how dare you, eating a hamburger that's not yours, you disrespectful, insignificant and ignorant lout! It's possibly because they lack self-esteem and they live in crowded huts and cities where there's no education.
This has opened a lot of discussion. It's ok to be different, and I think we should always try to understand where another person is coming from, rather than perceive(judge) them from our own perspective
Thank You! My point exactly!!
I learned that judgemental people are everywhere, it's just a matter of what good you can do. I quit caring about what others think. Be yourself, Be positive in a negative society!
peace out.
AMEN!!! Thanks!!
I loved your post because it said about embracing the differences and how that enriches like. I have been judgemental and can still be and would prefer to be less judgemental everyday. I do think though we learn to judge from others...so you think you are actually choosing to judge when maybe really you've been brainwashed into being judgemental by society's values...that doesnt seem to be a free choice to me.
PEOPLE OFTEN JUDGE OTHERS TO HIDE THEIR OWN FAULTS AND SHORT COMMINGS.
I believe the key word here is acceptance. And it doesn't mean that one has to be the same with the other. It is respecting that other people just do things differently and if you don't like it, you don't have to "judge" it but accept it that's the way for them. Well, i'm glad you are brave enough to express your thoughts and opinions on this matter and open enough to receive comments that are opposite your own. :-)
Yes, it's interesting that we spend so much time trying to make others think like us, and judging those who act or believe differently...and yet we would be so bored if everyone was the same.
On that note, it's important to distinguish between being non-judgemental, and being devoid of opinion (which would also be boring!). And there are times when it is very important to let someone know what you think. This article goes into that topic more:
we are all judgemental, we are not potted plants,we have opinions, we judge what color we like, what kind of dog, or cat,we like or dont like, what movie to go to, who we like or dislike, and for what reasons, what is funny and not funny,what kind of home we buy, in what kind of neighborhood, your confusing being judgemental with being brain dead., you are being judgemental yourself, horros, you want to be accepted by all, you dont believe in anything but belief in everything and nothing, you would judge charles manson the same as mother thresa, hitler the same as george washington, you want to go along to get along, its called making a decision on what you like, personally, it doesnt mean others are right or wrong,that is a judgement call, good or bad, another judgement call,that is a,forgive me, a judgment you will have to make, lol
This topic causes alot of turmoil. If you look up the word judgement in the dictionary it has the word opinion. I dont care who you are everyone is judgemental in some way or another. I, myself is judgemental. I do think that their are people who voice their opinion more than they should. But honestly I dont see nothing wrong with being judgemental, it all depends on how you use it.
I keep hearing a whole bunch people saying that we should be judgemental but does that mean that if a child-molester comes up to me and says "Don't condem for my moral choices" that I should have no opinion about it? I think when you say you don't want other people to be judgemental you are fullfiling a selfish to not be judged by others yet so you accuse those who are judging you the aweful tag of being judgemental.
I also have a problem. I am trying to dissuade a friend from socializing with another group of friends we have. The group does a lot of cocaine and various other drugs, heavy drinkers, dont really work, etc. Am I being judgemental to point out that these people are bad influences on my friend? I am judging them as bad influences, but I also think that most people would agree with me. But then again, that is being judgemental too.
I agree with the term "Acceptance"! To determine what is acceptable within your life is a result of decisions and choices. I always do my best to not pass judgement on people based on hair color, or the kind of vehicle they drive. I feel that it is important to accept people the way they are, and if that acceptance is not an option, so be it. Those are choices that we all make.
I appreciate all the feedback on this article! Thanks for the input!
Everybody in this world is judgemental. I don't care if you say you are or aren't. You may not judge everybody, but you do judge. I judge people all the time, I may judge wrong but oh well. If I judge someone wrong and I miss out on an opportunity, oh no, I've only hurt myself, not them. I judged ManFred when I read his comment. He sounds like a person I wouldn't want to talk to. I have to go now but I have a lot more to say... I might be back...
Yeah I've always known that the world is very judgemental but damn did i get a big taste of it recently. Brought my new girl to a friends party and she got called trashy because she was drinking a 40 ounce at a party where people were drinking every type of alchohol possible and smoking pot. But she's the trashy one out of everybody because she drank a forty! What a rotten person my girl is! LOL! I personally can't stand judgemental people.
To Rob base...
You say you can't stand judgemental people.
Brought my new girl to a friends party and she got called trashy because she was drinking a 40 ounce at a party where people were drinking every type of alchohol possible and smoking pot. But she's the trashy one out of everybody because she drank a forty!
If you ask me you're judging the people who judged your new girl by saying "where people were drinking every type of alchohol possible and smoking pot. But she's the trashy one out of everybody because she drank a forty!" You're saying that those people judged her shouldn't have because they were trashier than her with what they were doing. Therefore you judged them just like they judged her. When you say you can't stand judgemental people you're saying you can't stand yourself... and that's a problem... lol...
I think people might be confusing tolerance with judgement. I think the author speaks for a need for more tolerance in her culture rather than less judgement. More understanding, less prejudice.
The person above who is trying to dissuade his/her friend from associating with a group of drug and acohol abusers is using judgement. Maybe this person has first-hand experience with drug or alcohol abuse and can make that judgement call. He/she probably thinks the friend has poor judgement in this case.
THINK about the judgement you're about to make. All judgement inherently involves risk. Is your judgement based on sound reasoning and evidence or fear of the unknown?
I think that our culture tends to be judgemental. I have tried to teach my children to accept all. When there are differences, respect the other person's opinion. We are all entitled to them but common courtesy plays a role in acceptance and how we accept those differences. My son is a guitar playing teenager that dresses very differently, tight jeans, dyed black hair, you get the picture. He's a great kid, graduated HS, works full time, he's taking a year off before college...he can tell you how judgemental people are based on his appearance. But he walks to his own beat and is proud of it.
I hate judgemental people. With a passion.
To Eric...
I hate judgemental people. With a passion.
So when you see someone judging you automatically hate them? So you're judging that you wouldn't like them based on their actions.. So you're judging? Don't hate yourself.. That's almost as bad as Rob Base not being able to stand himself. lol
Well its one of those debateable topic where you can't have one single answer ..
Yes we should respect others opinion .. i would rather put it as try to respect but then its humanly not possible to do that. We all tend to be judgemental at some point or the other.
Almost everybody lies somewhere in between the two extremes i.e being overly judgemental and being able to accept just anything and anyone ... . So all we need to do is to strike a balance between two extremes and just make sure that we dont hurt others sentiments when we are judgemental, which i believe is far more feasible option than trying not to be judgemental at all ....
To Loki...
Thank you...
I must say that when I wrote this, I had no idea it would ever get this response! I appreciate everyones views, opinions and comments! Live and let live! Thanks again everyone!
No offense, but women are more judgemental and closed-minded to others that are different from them.
Whether we like it or not, everybody is judgemental. People just show it to varying degrees, that's all.Whenever I make a judgement call or state my opinion, it is based on my own factual knowledge and past experience. I can always back up my opinion/judgement with sound reasoning - and in fact, I am more than happy to do so.I'm most certainly open to entertaining different ideas and different viewpoints. In fact, that is what I strive to do in order to learn more about others, myself and life in general.I will not however, accept or respect any judgement or an opinion based upon little or no evidence, or if little or no attempt is made to justify said judgement/opinion - For that is the true mark of the uneducated, ignorant and Narrow-minded.
In my opinion :)
-Nate
...why are people so judgemental?...i cannot make my own moves because they are prepared to judge me...help me please!
To JamesGV...
Don't worry about how other people are going to judge you... You just do what you want to do and not worry about them. If they're going to judge negatively then you don't need them anyway... So just do what you need or want to do and not care about what other people are going to do or say.
I think we all need to have some way of editing out people who don't mesh with our own personal values and karma, cuz sometimes if you are too understanding and too easy going you can let people into your life who can cause you alot of emotional turmoil and judging people who can potentially create this turmoil... via differences of opinion etc can be a defence mechanism to let others know that you are different and you love yourself.
to loki :
omggg exactly you said it ALL !
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Slightly Used XL T-shirt - Judgemental People Suck
Current Bid: $3.00
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working
Mike says:
2 years ago
Sorry for being such a stickler about your topic, but aren't you being just a little judgemental in your statements? Small shallow minds, yep that's judgemental. Maybe you should think of the bigger picture of what you propose. I certainly think you are right in saying that people should expand their minds, but just think of how boring it would be if everyone were enlightened, and isn't it better to be judgemental than to simply follow the heard? Case in point; people who seek spiritual fulfillment often follow a religion, and then find themselves (lose themselves is more proper) wondering around searching for people who back up their beliefs, and ridiculing those who do not. This seems to be less judgemental than those of us who find solice in our own spirituality and not relying on the hearders (spiritual leaders) who are merely sheep themselves.
I understand you point that, hurting another persons feelings is not a good thing to do, this is a simple moral which I find myself to be quite easy to live by. However my having this value is by way of being judgemental, in that I judge that another person has feelings, and that by my actions I am able to coerce various emotional responses from another individual. I think you will find that If you do a study (granted I have not) on the judgemental character of a person or persons, then you will find that people who make more judgements are generally more intelligent, more fair and balanced, and more morally bound, and that is because people like myself make judgements, not only based upon our personal feelings, but also the potientiality of the feelings of others.
I am a judgemental person, and proud to be such a person.
~Mike
PS. I am a digg user, and I must bury your this story. Not because it is bad, but simply in the wrong place. There is no video here, and thus this post has misrepresented itself, and therefore falls under the "wrong topic" burial guidelines, sorry.