There was a time when ABC had all the best prime-time sitcoms. They had the Wonder Years. They had Growing Pains. They had Just The Ten Of Us. They had Urkel. ABC was on top of the world. One could only imagine what they would have done with Monday nights had it not been for football. Looked like nothing could go wrong for ABC, until a little competitor came back in a race it appeared he had lost. His name was NBC.

The only reason NBC was not a complete washout was because of it's absolutely stupendous weekday morning line-up. All the early 1982 episodes of Family Ties, when the dad still had no beard and Mallory was a knock-out and Tina Yothers was small. Followed by Sale of the Century, where people would win as astounding FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!! Next up was Card Sharks with the irrepressible Bob Eubanks. Then Scrabble with Chuck Woolery. But after that came all those icky soaps. It was the only reason NBC wasn't blown out of the race.

That was until "Hunter" came on. An hour long show about an ass-kicking hitman gunman dude. Unable to take ABC's prime-time sitcoms, they realized they could take them in hour-long dramas. L.A. Law. Our House. St. Elsewhere. Miami Vice. NBC had managed to draw even for a while with ABC. People wondered what ABC could possibly do.

The executives had a trio of shows they wanted to put out, but what day would be best? Someone...SOMEONE...suggested that they put them on Saturday nights. Everyone else laughed because that's where shows go to die. Only CBS, your grandparents' network, ever sees returns on Saturday night shows like Walker, Texas Ranger and JAG. Meanwhile ABC's new shows were all for guys 18-34. They'll be out!

To which ABC said -- na, I don't think one will be able to leave the house after what we've got in store.

And we wouldn't.

The first show was Sledge Hammer. It was about a guy in love with his gun, starring the crooked cop from Tom Selleck's "An Innocent Man". He not only loved his gun, he bought it presents, he took it on vacations, one day he couldn't find it, and the ensuing montage was to the song "Love Hurts".

The second show was SIDEKICKS!!!! Ernie Reyes Jr, he was like ten years old and beating six guys up at once with his legs. He would go AH-CHAHHHH!!!! And do a back-flip off one guy's chest in order to take another guy flying in. Ernie never lost a fight. He lived with Rizzo, this cop dude with a real hot girlfriend.

Then the third show was Ohara, starring Mr. Miyagi. (The name is O-HAHR-a). He kicked alot of people with suits and guns in very small apartment complexes in very dangerous neighborhoods, and lots of extras made cameos praising him after a unusual great stop, and then a wink or a corny line.

Keep going! This next one is about the show CSI and all it's derivatives. CLICK BELOW!

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