Looking for ways to save money? This is not the hub for you. All you will find here are awful ways to save money, that usually end up losing you money in the end. Put a few of these tips into practice and you could find yourself in financial trouble in no time. The awful saving money tips each come with an "instead" addition with contains actual money saving tips in the same category.

Enjoy the jokes along your frivolous spending way through this hub.

Cut out the health insurance to ensure you are taking the biggest financial risk for yourself and everyone else who cares about you. Endless number of possibilities of illnesses, and hospital stays that can quickly rack up year's salary kind of figures are possible. Go without health insurance and you could ruin all your family and friends financially as they pour their own savings out to save your life. Go ahead, save money on your health insurance.

Instead:

Buy Temporary Health Insurance Instead: Buy some temporary health insurance, even if you are 25 years old and in great shape. A catastrophic event could make you wish you were dead. It's cheap and worth the peace of mind.

"I saved $22.00." "Look the regular price was $198.00." We all know the type, always looking for a good deal. A sure way to mask your consumerist personality. Have everything you want, and SAVE MONEY while you are doing it. This kind of backwards reverse psychology trick advertising works on the weak minded who want to indulge. Buying a bunch of useless junk you could do without is a killer way to kill your nest egg before it hatches.

Instead:

Decide what you want before you shop. And if this doesn't work for you, then make yourself sleep on it before buying things "on sale." Chances are you don't really want it if you forget about it over night.

You can save several cents per day by simply not brushing your teeth or flossing. Evolutionists would argue your point that prehistoric man didn't brush his teeth, and so you don't really need to. You can always try gargling with some of your own free urine every morning. Stop brushing and flossing and you will save even more money than expected. You won't have to go to the dentist, because you won't have any teeth. You won't have to spend money on any more expensive steaks that you won't be able to chew either.

Instead:

The bacteria that brushing and flossing controls can kill more than just teeth. Somehow that bacteria can spread to your heart tissue and cause heart disease. Make it a priority. Make your mother proud. Never miss a brushing.

If you're like most people, you haven't thought about saving money by running into burning buildings. It's true that some people let their money go to waste as their apartment, house, or bank burn down. It's a really hot way to save money that's been available since people started building buildings. You can be the money fire department.

Instead:

If you believe in heaven, then you are probably not scoring points for God's team by being greedy. If you don't believe in heaven, then you'll be believing in hell soon anyway. That has two meanings.

"Would you like to buy the three year extended warranty and service plan?" Before you can ask how much... "It covers everything. Even if you spill coffee on it."

Finally, you get to ask how much. "It depends on how much it is. For your $600.00 computer, it's only $400.00 for the three years. Or if you just want to go with the two year it's only $275.00."

So, it's about 75% of the cost of a brand new computer and it's covering an item that depreciates by 75% a year and already has a 1 year warranty? Sounds like a great deal!

The salesman must be right if they can make you feel like you just left a baby in a hot car for not buying the warranty. Just buy the dang thing to get them to shut up, then break the item 18 times in the last week before the warranty runs up. Just kidding.

"Sure I want a warranty on my $10.00 flash drive for $8.00. Maybe you could insure a bag of my own crap too."

Instead:

Plan to use the money you save from not buying the service plan and get an item of equal quality immediately after your year manufacturer's warranty runs up. Then you can be pleasantly surprised and can pat yourself on the back if you have managed to keep from spilling coffee on your computer. Then put the extra money into an even better computer when yours self destructs at exactly three years, when the warranty would end timed to the precise second.

Even better buy an extra brand new back up car, so you can use it to get to your $10.00 an hour job in case your other car breaks down. Enough about the new car, who is still buying brand new cars? People with money to waste.

Instead:

Buy a really really new used car. You can transfer many warranties, and you can keep from paying the depreciation of simply driving it off the lot. Nobody has to know you bought it used car. Pride is the enemy of saving money.  It's a proven fact that used cars last just as long as new cars, it's just that a little bit of the use is used up.

I've actually heard this one. "I don't have to spend much on groceries because I eat out for most of my meals." Awesome, I thought to myself. You are really saving. I bet I could save on groceries that way. I tried it. It cost more, a lot more. Even with coupons, you have to leave a tip at most places and taxes can be close to another 9%.

Instead:

Learn to cook. You'll probably enjoy the low stress activity. And if you don't enjoy cooking, then cook in bulk amounts and store extra in your freezer. Then rotate the frozen food, so you can still have variety.

Are we so busy that we can't find the time to figure out how to give our money away wisely? Or maybe we have way too much money? You don't know some poor chap who needs some new shoes? You don't know someone who would like you to take them out to lunch? You don't go to a church that directly supports missionaries? You say, "Nah, I don't have time for the giving thing because I'm spending my money on making money. I'm just gonna give money to the guy who called and interrupted dinner."  Probably only 15% of your contribution is actually going to the cause.

Instead:

Open your eyes, chances are you know someone less fortunate than you. Random acts of generosity will surprise those around you as well as yourself. You will gain something more valuable when you finally decide to do this. Step one: open wallet, step two: pull out money, step three: hand the person some money. It's that easy. Or you could give it anonymously, which may be even more appropriate sometimes.

Money doesn't have lungs, doesn't need air, and can survive lying at the bottom of the ocean. Ask treasure seekers, they'll vouch for that statement.

Instead

Stop. Please stop, throwing your money into every artificial fountain or pond you walk by. No, the polar bears at the zoo don't want your money, so stop throwing your pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters in the water in the first place. Then the money wouldn't need you or anyone else to save it.

You can usually get better deals by buying more. Make sure to buy as much as possible without really thinking about how much you'll actually need. The important thing is that you save more money. Elisabethkcmo suggested this one in the comments section: Buy the largest peanutbutter container possible. Get the bucket size. That way, if there's a catastrophic event, you'll be ready with enough calories to kill a cow. When it goes bad after a couple of years you can let your dog try to lick it off the roof of it's mouth until it's short life ends.

Instead:

Only buy as much as you need. You are technically not saving any money if you get 30% off and throw away 80%.

There's no sense in paying too much for the things that you have to spend money on regularly, and gas is not the exception. Check to find out what part of the country has the best price of gas HERE. Then drive to that area and fill up. By doing this if you live in California you will be able to keep the gas guys competitive. At least make 'em compete with Indiana.

Instead:

This one is actually a really good idea. There is no instead. Everyone wins, especially the environment. Just quit driving across town to fill up at a station that is only three cents less than the station you're right next to. Make a real difference for once, drive across the country.

If you can think of more, please add them to the comment section and I will add them until I get to 20.  Until then keep throwing your money away at these 8.