What is Success?

By success I mean achieving or bettering your goals or desired outcomes within a time frame that you want achieve them in. These goals could be personal like a level of fitness, or professional like a promotion or earning a certain amount of money, or social like creating social change. If where you are now is a long way off where you want to be, then something needs to change in order for you to be successful. So here are 5 things you need to know if you want to reach your goals.

Why Do You Want to Change?

First of all you need to know why you want to change. Is it in line with your values? Do you feel like you deserve it? Will it upset the people around you, are they more comfortable keeping you the way you are? Sometimes we think we want a change, but there are unconscious forces at work that are sabbotaging our efforts. Is this happening with you? If it is how can you begin to resolve it? Do you have ways of communicating with that still small voice inside that will gently let you know what the dilemna is? If you can see some really good reasons why this change would be good for you then write them down, carry them around with you and read them a few times a day. Keep reminding yourself how this change will make your life work better for you.

How Are You Going to Change?

Secondly, you need to know how you are going to make the changes. Presumably you have tried in the past. Most people have. What resources have you got now, what resources do you still need to gather? Information, support, finances, time, skills, self-belief and know-how are all types of resources that you might need. How can you get them? What do you think has stopped you in the past? If there is a gap between what you have and what you need, what stops you getting it? How can you overcome this?

What Exactly Do You Want to Change?

Thirdly you need to know exactly what you want to change. Be really honest with yourself, sometimes what we think we want to change is not what we really want to change and then we end up going in split directions or round in circles. If you don't know what you really want you will almost certainly not get it! Be precise, stop running and take time to visualise it. Write it down in as much detail as you can.

When Do You Want to Change?

Fourthly, you need to know when you want it by and how long you want it for. This probably sounds quite straightforward, but if you keep your desires in the future, that's where your achievments will be too. Bring it closer, set up a timeline of acheivable goals and go for each one. Success breeds success, if you acknowledge the little goals, then you will be more likely to achieve your ultimate goal of success.

What Is More Valuable that What You Have Now Got?

Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, what is more valuable to you than what you have now? You must know this before you attempt to change. To work this out, you need to work out what you are really getting from your current situation. What are the pay offs? For instance, if you looking to lose weight but have been unsuccessful, maybe your weight is doing something for you at an unconscious level. I have worked with women who use their weight to stop them addressing problems in unhappy relationships. They are frightened that if they felt slim and desireable they would feel better about themselves and less likely to put up with the relationship. They can be frightened that this will mean upsetting the status quo and so they sabbotage any attempts to lose weight. Somewhere, in this instance the woman feels that it is more valuable to maintain her circumstances and feel bad about herself than to feel good, make changes and perhaps upset others. The trick is making these processes conscious and then generating more choices.

'What is more valuable' will differ between people and how they discover this is also different. Some people connect with a higher power or a spirit guide or their higher self. Some people are only driven to search for this when the situation has absolutely no more payoffs and they hit rock bottom. The process of connecting with what is truly unique too. Some find it through religion, others through a spiritual practice, self-help groups, yoga, therapy, meditation, hypnosis or NLP. You can find out what works for you. 

What is common to all of those processes is slowing down and taking time to look inside and ask these questions. If we don't, then success will remain illusive. Take some time for yourself, you are worth it, and you don't have to hit rock bottom. You can do it now, reach out for the resources you need.