5 Things You Should Never Do With Your Laptop in Public

This is for those of you who have a hard time gauging when you have crossed the line from normal to awkwardly inappropriate. You know who you are—the woman talking on her cell phone while using a public restroom; the sweaty guy who squeezes in right next to another passenger on the bus when there are plenty of empty seats around; or, the woman at the dumpster who watches a neighbor struggle to dump her heavy trash can, saying “I don’t think so” when asked to help hold the lid open. That’s right, you know exactly who you are.

You might get a way with some of these shenanigans, but you need to know your limits. Since it is becoming more and more acceptable to use your laptop in public, it would be a good idea for you to remember the five things you should never do in public (unless you want to end up in jail, sued, or slapped by an offended lady or gentleman).

Whether you are listening to music, watching a movie, or browsing You Tube, don’t turn the volume up full blast. In fact, you need to use earphones in public. Even with the earphones in, don’t turn it up so loud that the person four tables away in a loud coffee shop can hear the video’s background noises like they are in a movie theater. You are going to go deaf, and piss off everyone around you in the meantime.

People Watching

I love to people watch too, and even journal about the things I witness. This does not mean you should type everything you observe if the people around you can read your screen, especially if you are giggling obscenely to yourself as you type. Using a large font and bold text will make your case even worse.

Hoarding Space

Sure, your laptop is super special to you, and probably cost a good chunk of cash (or charged on your credit), but that does not mean you should be a space hog. Go ahead and imagine a protective bubble around your temple of a laptop, but don’t get all huffy when normal people can’t see your invisible shield.

Illegal Activity

Seriously, if you are going to do something illegal on your laptop, don’t do it public. Duh. And, if I catch you standing outside of the shop where I just made a credit card purchase, in an area known as a Wi-Fi hotspot, with your laptop open, locked, and loaded…well, I’ll probably kick your shins first, and ask questions later.

Porn

Do I really have to say it? If you insist on making the classy decision to look at or watch pornography on your computer, refrain from doing it in public (particularly if you are on a crowded public bus—yes, there are public buses that provide free Wi-Fi). Just say no to the public porno.