5 Ways to Stay Upbeat
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5 Ways to Stay Upbeat
People tend to think that I am an upbeat, happy, positive person. The people who really know me know that this is not essentially true. Hear me out… Naturally, I am a pessimistic person who realizes that pessimism is bad for me. I make a conscious effort every day to be positive and upbeat. Sometimes I fail, but most days I make it through.
Depression seems to run in my family. I am sure it runs in most families – of course that could be my pessimism coming out, but it seems that everyone – at one point of their lives – deals with depression. At two points in my life I was so depressed that I stayed in bed for three months at a time. I would only get up to go to work. The last time this happened, I skipped most of my college classes and dropped out before the end of term.
This is when a friend recommended I ask for medication. So I did, and was prescribed something or the other. I took it faithfully for 3-4 months. It really did help with my mood swings. I felt more stable and did more things, and “felt” happy, but in the back of my mind – I was even more depressed.
It might be that my depression was based on the fact that “I wasn’t happy” (I know – redundant), but I longed to be truly happy, and not just drugged-up happy. So I did something reckless and stopped my medication. Cold turkey. This is NOT something I recommend doing. Some people have a real chemical imbalance and they need medication. If I have a chemical imbalance, it is a slight one. My actions and my depression stemmed from learned behavior.
Without blaming anyone, my dad “lost joy” in 1997. There were issues outside of all of our control and it took a toll on him. I am not ratting him out – he openly admits it. He did not get his job back until Christmas of 2008 (last Christmas), when he quit his job. I love my dad, and I don’t want to say that my problems are because of him, rather I learned to deal with my problems in a similar way that he did.
I knew when I went off my meds, that I was making a lifestyle choice. I never wanted to take happy pills again – I wanted to be genuinely happy – I wanted my brain to tell my body I was happy, not the other way around. I made a to do list and followed it to the letter and experienced the emotional boot camp.
I would like to share the list with you, in hopes that you may find it useful.
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Take a Walk Everyday
Before I went through emotional boot camp, I didn’t own a car. I purchased one in the first month, but I continued to walk to nearby places. Walking cleared my head. On days I was more depressed, I would listen to happy music to cheer me up while I walked, but generally I tried to think about things as I walked.
Throw Things Away
I can honestly say that I have less that 10 percent of the stuff I had 3 years ago. I can also honestly say that I am 10 times happier. In some ways it is just that I have less to worry about and less clutter, but I am also glad to be “free” from some other things as well. I had a lot of things that reminded me of bad experiences and I was always seeing them and being reminded of those things.
Get rid of anything that reminds you of a bad experience. Start fresh.
Stay Busy
I gave myself projects to do to keep me busy so that I would not “wallow in my misery.” As I accomplished things on my to do list, I felt better about myself and my self-confidence began to rise.
Stay Focused
Everyday I have to remind myself who I want to be. I want to be happy, not sad. I want to look forward to the future and not dread the past. I want to be excited about being alive! I try not to allow negative thoughts into my head. I am not always successful, but I am a lot stronger than the day I began this process.
Weed Out Any Bad Influences
There were a few people I had to stop hanging out with because they were a negative influence on me. They would belittle me or use me as a resource and it did nothing to help me grow as a person or stay happy. Do not be rude to these people when you leave if you are afraid of it causing drama, just slowly stop hanging out with them and “drift apart”.
At the same time, surround yourself with positive influences that will help build you up. Consider seeing a therapist to help you sort everything out. I personally hate therapists in general, but a friend took me to see his mom’s therapist and she turned out to be amazing and helped me learn some of the things I am writing about now.
All in all, it is sometimes difficult to stay upbeat, but I still believe that with hard work you can change yourself from a pessimistic person to an optimistic person – and that is my optimistic side!
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word "happy" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. ~ Carl Jung
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. ~ Anne Frank
The above hub is copywrited under my name. Please do not use anything about this blog without first checking with me. If you have any comments or suggstions, either about my writing style or about the content of this hub, please leave them. I would like to know what you really think. Thank you for reading.
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Comments
Phil, you consistently read all of my hubs. Thank you.
Awesome! I loved the honesty coming thru. I fall into same kind of patterns very often and I try to stay busy and away from negative people. Exercise really helps. It works for me at least. Great work.
Thank you anjalichugh!
So young and yet so wise - that's a great list you have there!
Hey Luci,
I love this article! Its all so true. I too have had deep depression twice in my life and have also taken medication. I have learned alot from the "dark side" and sometimes I like to think in a way its a good experience you can learn from In hopes that I can help empathize with others that may experience similar issues I had to learn to cope with in my life. I hope to never go back, but sometimes the things that happen in our lives take us there and we can learn from them. There is also clinical depression which I may have a hair of, and may not. Too close to tell, but I have family members that have to deal with it so I have learned allot in helping supporting them in the right ways. Anyway, I think you are so right with your to do list, walks are amazing to clear the mind and keeping busy is essential to keep your brain active and too keep you happy! Cheers to happiness!
Thanks guys and Cheers to happiness!
It's wonderful that you're making the effort to stay upbeat...and that's some simple and doable advice you've given us here. All the best!
Thanks Feline!
Great hub lady. Your tips and advices are really very help ful. You can not believe that same advices are given by doctor to me. Three months back i was so depressed. And these guidelines proves successful in removing these mental stress.
Your hard work has finally made you able to stay upbeat .Thank you for sharing. now it's a good advise for me too.
Great list you have compiled, especially liked the comment on association. Surrounding ourselves with positive people who bring out the best in us is totally good for the soul.
Dar
Thank you for reading all!
Thanks for sharing, Luciendasky. This is very valuable to me. Although, in all honesty, I'd be much happier if you didn't have to write this.
Whenever I experience a sudden jolt of sadness I try to do something to change my state. Whether it's just going out to the sun or taking a walk, it doesn't matter to me. I even visit a silly 'positive-thinking' website to watch a video or something.
Here's my definition for God: God is the life substance that's in all that live, no more no less. And since God lives through us, he wants us to live a happy and rich life, to increase life. I have taken up this stubborn belief.
I'm telling you this because you don't really need proof that what you believe is true. Believe the thing that makes you happy and content and you'll live a happy and content life. :)
Which is your other hub about Yortis? I couldn't find it.
Thank you for sharing, Pacal, I haven't written my other Yortis one yet, but I will soon (within a week)
Taking yourself off your own meds must not have been easy, Luciendasky. I give you a ton of credit for doing so. You must be doing all right so far if you able to write an article about your experience. I too and a relatively happy person who always tries to get others around me to laugh or at least smile. Laughing and smiling is contagious. People truly do want to be happy. When you are happy, the rest of the world is happy right there with you. Thanks.
Thank you for your comment dohn121...
I love the way that Melaudreymatic (GREAT play on syllables by the way!) calls you Luci, so I'm going to do that too, if you don't mind. You sound like a Luci.
So, Luci, have you ever thought about writing some sort of self help (I KNOW-but stats say that they are BIG sellers rather than sellOUTS) tome??
You have such a great way of couching things, almost anything. That Jung quote at the end of your piece tells ME that balance is key. I have been something of a forced, and ultimately (later) willing, Jung follower as he heavily influenced a book that I frequently use, and he is fond of expounding on things that seem to stem from emotional balance.
I like this piece; you are a great thinker. When you were talking about your walks and 'thinking', what came to mind for me was a saying about my mind being a terrible neighborhood for me to get lost in, which, I suppose at times is true for me.
However, me thinks that your thought processes are quite productive. You may not feel that way all the time, but no one is anything all the time, again speaking to Jung's theories re: balance. When you are productive you have a good deal of advice worth listening to.
I love to read what you write, so thanks for this, I will try to follow your advice and see if I, too can get there from here.
Peace,
Mona
*NB: Exercise releases something called Endorphins into our systems, endorphins are what our bodies release as 'natural pain killers', also capable of getting us 'high'! They make us feel really, really good, and are the reason, it has been said, that some people (many people) become exercise 'junkies' or addicts! It works, it's one of those don't quit before the miracle things though, because you hit a point in aerobic exercise when suddenly they are released and you feel as though you could run, walk whatever exercise you practice, another mile even though you were exhausted immediately before the release. That is what is also known as our 'second wind'!
Such good solid advice, the best kind, written from experience. good job!
very awesome Monawrites! Thanks for reminding me about the endorphin high - I need to start working out again - I haven't the last week because I am so busy, but I am starting to feel a little chubby :D... and also you may call me Luci, because that is, in fact my name...
What is a self-help tome?
Thank you for reading, elisabethkcmo
wonderful hub. i'm a big believer in removing clutter and negativity from your life, and keeping active. some people are like 'why are you so happy all the time, grumble grumble)...it takes work. and embracing every day as a new one full of possibilities. (i love that photo you took, by the way - beautiful).
Thank you cosette, I am a "pretend photographer"
Been feeling a bit down lately myself, behind the facade of the joker is a depressed guy so I could really relate to your hub, I totally loved it and it helped, thank you !
Thank you for the comment badcompany, and I hope you feel up soon!
A very good hub . . . I think a lot of people can use these tips to their advantage, especially taking a walk. I live in New England and people are finally walking again. I felt so alone in that sense for so long.
It is excellent that people are walking again Jonathan! Hope you find a walking buddy :D
"Weed out bad influences"... I couldn't agree with you any more...
You begin to smell like those you rub up against, and if you're constantly "rubbing up against" grumpy, negative people, you become grumpy & negative.
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the comment Jessica!
Some good tips. Your profile is interesting. I pray you'll seek God again, but this time, through his love letter to you and not by anyone else's example, terms or understanding. Spend time every day in his Word.
Thanks for the comment joshandkaren.
Good advice, I never know if I'm depressed or just a miserable old git. Probably a bit of the two really. I like the idea of de-cluttering but only as an idea, I need my junk around me. I find lists a good way to keep me focused, my diary is one big ongoing list. I also agree that projects are a positive way of keeping yourself on track.
Thank you for the extra tips Knell, and thank you for the comment.
Your hubs are so vibrant.I also think that stop hanging out with negative minded people help us stay upbeat.
Your hubs are so vibrant.I also think that stop hanging out with negative minded people help us stay upbeat.
for some, I am sure that would be true... I usually mirror people around me, but I know some people who thrive on helping sadder people :D
So true what you say about getting rid of negative people. Easier said than done, I have found. They always give you the attitude like you are a jerk or something b/c you don't want to put up with their BS anymore. Good stuff...
Thank you pgh
PhilD41 says:
4 months ago
Great hub. My wife has lived with sever clinical depression since grade school. She made the choice to go off her meds when we started having children. It hasn't always been easy and still isn't at times. She uses many of the same tactics you list here and the do help.