The 5 Worst Popes Ever
82
I've always been somewhat perplexed by the Catholic church. They're a bit.. well.. uptight most of the time. They just protest a bit too much when it comes to things like homosexuality, baby making, and divorce. Perhaps they're trying to make up for their sordid past. No, not the bloody one - the pornographic one. There have been a number of hypersexual Popes in the Church's history.
Oh, you won't fid that info plastered all over the place, but it's around. For the sake of argument (cos, well, I wasn't there) I'll say this list and its contents are alleged. But I'm going to have to say I give the list a big thumb's up in terms of credibility. Catholics will probably get a little upset at seeing a claim about Popes who shag other men, and I hope they realize it's not my intention to upset them. I'm going to be fair and also include the straight guys who (also allegedly) shagged their mothers, sisters and daughters. And hey - I might even list the ones who raped nuns for fun.
1. John XII (937-964) This guy became Pope in his late teens and remained such for his entire adult life. He wasn't really gay, as much as an equal opportunity shagger and he took every opportunity to make everyone feel welcome in his palace. Except for his 2 sisters and other young girls - those he raped. His massive orgies were particularly spectacular and surely must have endeared him to many a God-fearing soul. Not that John XII was particularly God-fearing - he got down and dirty on the tombs of Sts. Paul and Peter. If this guy isn't in hell, no one is.
2. Benedict IX (1033-1048) The prepubescent pope. Maybe becoming pope at the age of 12 does funny things to a person. That, or he was just mentally off to begin with. How else can you explain the Catholic leader shagging boys, girls and animals. He also murdered a few peeps. Eventually, however, he settled down. (Ok, so maybe it wasn't until after they tried to kill him off.) He shacked up with his cousin and gave his uncle Gregory the papacy.
3. Clement VI (1342-1352) Prostitutes, pilgrims and mistresses, oh my! This one knocked boots with any female, any time. Quite possibly the world's first sex addict. He was so taken with the idea of fornication, his thoughts would often stray during conversation to the point of embarrassment. Sunday mass included. Wouldn't that have been an interesting sermon?
4. Paul III (1534-1549) This winner shagged his daughter on a regular basis. If that doesn't make you ill, few things could. Let's see, what else? Oh, yes. He killed a few relatives to protect his interests - including his Mom. He also pimped about 45,000 Roman hookers, collecting payments on a monthly basis. I'm betting he fibbed on his taxes.
5. John XIII (965-972) Like father (John XII) like son. This pope slept with everything and anything, including his dad's concubine. Oh, and his own niece. That all in the family thing seems to be quite popular in the papacy, doesn't it? He died just like his dad did - at the hands of an angry husband.
Well, that's enough hedonism for one article. No wonder the confession is so popular with Catholics - many of them would never get to heaven without it.
xx Isabella
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down [flag this hub]
Comments
Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Interesting. You would give Dan Brown some good stuff to work with here.
Seeley - I had a philosophy professor who loved to do that!
Fretbuzz - Well, to be fair, back then you could just buy the papacy. So I think money is partly to blame, lol.
Seattle - Thanks! He can borrow if he likes, as long as he credits me. ;-)
Phenomenal hub! Awesome!
Thank you, sir!
I agree with the comments, they seemed to be like Mafia with a religious touch. I hope they do have some controls now.
you really need to read this....
Cgull - I hope so, too!
Aab - read what??
Wow........What happened to infallible....oh this is where catholics say: Well infallible really doesn't mean infallible and blah blah..Stop making your own rules as you go plan and maybe people would go back to church. Arrogant!
Informative...heathen!:grin:
Big centralized religions, like dictatorships, put people in absolute power. People are fallible, so they will reliably (1) abuse such a large amount of power, and (2) do a terrible job of deciding how others should live.
They'll also wear really goofy hats in both cases, I think. Just a theory.
WELL I DONT REALY NOW HOW TRUE THIS IS , BUT GOD BLESS US ALL.
It shames me as a Catholic... Sob sob... Oh, well. There are people who go against the rules everytime. And the worst people who do that are the ones who holds the highest power--hence can get away with ignoring the rules.
By the way, you use mac, right? What program are you using to read .lit files?
Thx
I'm a Catholic, and I can't say that it upset me to read all of this really. There's a terrible history to the Church, and reading stuff like this about the Popes is practically light reading compared to some of the other skeletons in the Big Catholic Closet.
I was a little upset that you left out Alexander VI though. He had four kids with his favourite mistress, gave them all estates that belonged to the Church and made one a Cardinal, and that's before you get on to the murders and the invasions.
Maybe I'm taking the bait from Joe, but the Pope is only infallible when he's talking about a belief and he states that he's speaking infallibly, and the power of papal infallibility has only been used once. If the Pope was right about everything, Ireland would have won the World Cup in 1990!
I am Catholic not because the morality of Popes, Bishops, Priests, nuns, married, singles,… but because Our Lord Jesus Christ. Do not confound doctrine and moral. His word is eternal light and I recommend looking for it and follow. In gospels I have read that He appointed a visible head on Earth for his Church until He comes back some future day.
And regarding moral, Catholics have a long list of virgins, martyrs, doctors and saints (including Popes) over twenty centuries that counterbalance absolutely some few facts as the ones mentioned. Look there for free to see many good moral references to follow. Hope this helps to focus future writings.
You forgot the most infamous:
Alexander VI, 1 January 1431 – 18 August 1503. The Borjia Pope, one very busy in bed. His most famous mistress was Vannozza del Cattanei. WIth her he sired Casere, Lucrezia (whom he often bedded), Gioffre, and Giovanni. He had more children with other unknown mothers.
At least His Holiness did his part bringing many Roman Catholics into the World
Huh, These guys are suppose to be a decendant Apostle all the way down from Peter. The only thing Peter was guilty of is puttng his foot in his mouth occasionaly. If Jesus had listend to Peter he not have went to the cross for our sins.
Seeley deBorn says:
2 years ago
ROFL.
I loved my early european history clas for this kind of thing! (Taught by a protestant Scot, so there was a ton of similar commentary)