7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

For all of our collective misgivings about the institution of marriage, we seem to be quite fond of jumping into it. Some sources say 90% of adults in the civilized world get married at least once in their lives.

The problem is, less than half of us stay married.

While all of this might sound just fine to wedding planners and divorce attorneys, it's just not that great for the rest of us. Divorce is incredibly stressful - on us, on our children, on our families... It somehow doesn't sound like a big deal anymore, since so many couples end up getting divorced, but the truth is, it rips people's lives apart!

It's hard for us to stay married these days, when divorce is so accessible - but no matter how trying marriage can be, it's almost always the better option. Couples who stay married for life tend to be happier, live longer, and stay healthier. And even though you and your spouse will undoubtedly have your disagreements, and may even need a bit of relationship help now and again, there's a lot to be said for being able to share your live with one special person.

With that in mind, I have put together a list of seven secrets to a happy marriage. I hope that you will use these tips to strengthen your own marriage, and to live a happy and fulfilling life with your spouse:

1. Create your own traditions together. Certain things should become private, exclusive experiences that bond the two of you together. Whether it's a touch on the shoulder that says, "I know you've had a hard day", or a weekly drive along the country side, carve out your own traditions to make your marriage unique and irreplaceable.
2. Talk about money. Few things cause more marital strife than money issues. If the two of you handle money differently, you need to discuss it as soon as possible. If you can't agree on how finances should be handled, keep your finances separate. Separate checking accounts won't kill a marriage, but repeated fights over money can.
3. Communicate openly and honestly. You might feel like you're burdening your spouse when you talk about that awful meeting at work or those lines at the store, but marriage is about sharing... everything. Communicating openly and honestly reduces the opportunity for things to be taken the wrong way. If you're upset, your spouse will know it... and might think it's about your relationship if you don't speak up.
4. Listen to your spouse.This doesn't mean staring and nodding. Your spouse doesn't just want you to hear- your spouse wants you to understand and share in what you're being told. You would give that courtesy to a complete stranger... so it's critical that you extend the same courtesy to your spouse.
5. Establish a "date night", and stick to it. Happy couples, even those who have been married for forty years or more, say that one of the keys is continuing to date even after you're married. Whether it's every Friday night or once a month, your marriage will greatly benefit from setting aside time for the two of you to reconnect.
6. Respect your spouse, and ask for respect. Read number 4 again. We give respect to total strangers, yet we often don't respect our own spouses. "Please" and "thank you" fit just as well in the context of marriage as they do in social situations.  
7. Put your marriage first. It's easy to let your time and energy be drained... children, careers, social obligations, and family can all take up a huge chunk of your time. However, your marriage still has to come first. No matter what else is going on, set aside some time and energy for your spouse... Creating something that no one can take away is a powerful way to build a lifetime of happiness and reduce the frequency of marital problems.