7 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Your Marriage

It is easy for us to take our spouse for granted once we have been married for some time. Did the effort we put into securing their love drain you of your creativity, passion and drive? The answer is no. Most of us just become lazy and complacent. Just as anything in life, what you put in = what you get out.

There was probably a time before the marriage when all you did was think about the other person. Remember some of those thoughts? "How can I spend more time with him/her?" "What is she/he doing right now?" "Does she/he really care about me?" "I can't wait to make love again." There are some important things we need to work on in order to continue to be passionate about our spouse and have these types of thoughts.

7. Love Yourself

It is important that you love yourself. If you do not love yourself, you cannot receive the love of your spouse. If your love for yourself is low, you will begin to resent your spouse for not treating as they have in the past. We expect our spouses to make us feel better. When this does not happen, the resentment grows. What we really need to do is focus on ourselves. Take some time for yourself and do something that makes your happy. Once your love for yourself is filling up, you will feel better allowing you to give and receive love freely.

6. Relieve Your Stress

Many things in our lives are going to produce stress. It is inevitable. What is important is how we deal with it. Carrying stress around can create a negative energy making you feel bad and others around you feel bad. Have you known someone who makes you feel bad when you are around them? They probably have negative energy. That is why it is important to throw out the stress trash. Exercise, meditate, go out with a friend, or make love with your spouse. Do something that makes you happy and let the stress go. Minimizing your stress frees you to feel good making it easier to focus on your relationship.

5. Leave Work at Work

Many of us tend to bring our work home with us. This can be in the form of finishing up incomplete tasks or worrying about what we need to do. When you get home you can relieve your stress(see #6) and make sure to set time aside for your spouse. This is not always possible, but try to do this as often as you can.

4. Forgiveness

No one of us is perfect. There are times when your spouse may be creating stress in your life. They may have said something that made you feel bad. You first have to recognize what happened and communicate with your spouse. Most importantly, forgiveness should enter the equation at some point for the marriage to heal and continue to grow.

3. Touch

Hold hands. Hug. Kiss. Cuddle. Make love. Whatever you can do, do. Touching your spouse is very important. It maintains your connection. It is a wonderful way to give and receive affection.

2. Gratitude

Being grateful for the things we have in our life shifts our focus away from what we do not have. When we are grateful, we are generally a happier person. If you find that you are unhappy with your spouse, get out a piece of paper and write down all the things you are grateful for from you spouse. Do this everyday until you feel gratitude fro your spouse. Likewise, you can do this for all areas of your life, writing down what you are grateful for.

1. Attitude

"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different." ~Katherine Mansfield. Our attitude is our frame of mind. Maintaining a good attitude is vital to successful marriage as well as all areas of our life. To get and maintain a positive attitude, you must be self-aware. Know how you are feeling. If you are feeling bad, take action to change it.

Understanding and applying these 7 principles will help you achieve a healthy marriage. This is just the beginning. It begins with you however. When you are comfortable with yourself, you will find it easier to relate and interact in your marriage. You will be more passionate and romantic. Likewise, you will find happiness in other areas of your life also.