We left home and grabbed some gas and coffee at 8:30 to make the 85 mile trek to the middle ages. Every year, about this time, buskers, performers, and merchants put on their corsets, leathers, swords, gowns, and medieval best to take people back in time to when entertainment did not require electricity and food was eaten without a fork.

We pulled into the parking lot about an hour and a half later and entered the gates of the castle that lead to the day's entertainment. My daughter had several goals in mind. First, she wanted a henna tattoo. Second she wanted to find out how much the tarot readers and palm readers charged since she is proficient at this and is thinking about setting up a booth in the local city celebration. Last, she wanted some wooden hair combs that we can only find at a shop at this fair. My wife had only one real desire, she also wanted a (or as it turned out two) of the wooden hair combs. Me, I was there for all of that very healthy food. More on that to come.

We headed for the henna tent and while my daughter got her henna tattoo, my wife and I settled in to enjoy Perunzel as told by Zilch the Tory Steller. This fractured fairy tale tells of the weivel itch and the pransom hince and Perunzel. Hard to follow but you can just imagine how some of the sentences came out. When it seemed that the audience was falling too far behind, he would tell other understandable stories. As with all comedians, true life provided his material.

"What about the names that parents give their kids today. I could not believe the things I heard parents shout while I was at Disneyland." "Charity, give that back to your brother!" "Chase, get back here", "Destiny, where do you think you are going," Chastity, (I'll leave that one to your imagination." Then back to finishing the story.

My daughter had finished her tattoo and talked to one of the soothsayers so we were off to find the wooden hair pieces. On the way we marveled at the costumes that many who were in attendance had put together to fit into the theme. there were gypsies, belly dancers, pirates, musketeers, you name it. We watched a couple more of the stage acts including Don Juan and Miguel and One Flaming Idiot who was having great difficulties getting the fire to go out on his whip. There are many more that were scheduled throughout the day but we moved on. Once we found the hair combs we moved down to one of the food courts. Of the food we tried here are my expert taste ratings:

1. Beef ribs- Two large beef meaty ribs with just right dry seasonings.
2. Sausage on a stick- slightly spicy not bad.
3. Funnel Cake- Even overcooked (as it was in this case) I can't miss my funnel cake.
4. Steak on a stick- Tender but no great shakes (or steaks)
5. Roasted Corn on the Cobb- Sorry, I make it better.
6. Turkey legs- A site favorite but it would be better with a bunch of Cajun seasoning.
7. Spinach Pie- Spinach and cheese- Kinda bland
8. Gyros- Stick to the mediterranean for this

Stained glass shops stop my wife in her tracks every time. Same goes for Candle shops and pottery shops. There are many of all of these. The merchants stay in character at all times, speaking with their English accents and requesting payments in Pounds. I kinda threw one a curve when she asked for four pounds and I stated that seven dollars was too high. Guess she didn't understand the exchange rate. She charged me four dollars to keep things straight and gave me the old "smart a--" look as she bid me thanks.

At one of the candle shops a lady tried to explain the particle candles. Unfortunately she was trying to keep in character after a bee had gotten into her drink and stung her lip when she took a drink. She sounded like Bill Cosby's dentist comedy routine. Further down you could buy swords from the foundry, glass from the glass blower, and period gowns and leathers from any number of shops. As we moved to the second half of the faire, something caught my eye that I had to have. There was no thinking twice. It was a pottery jar with a lid. Inscribed are the words "Ashes of Problem Employees:" I will fill it with Nerds and Smarties and put it on my desk. While my daughter looked around in a leather shop a monstrous figure appeared in the road. This was Sholo the Nubian, one of the wandering characters in the park. Tired and hot, we decided to call it a fun successful day. On the way to the front gate we would pass another of the characters entertaining the children. This was Twig the Fairy with her double flute. The kids were enthralled. Her personality was perfect for the part as she embodied the magic of the park.

We'll be back next year and hopefully see more of the entertainment. For now, it's time to take another dose of Pepto-Bismal and call it a day.

May you always have Treasured Pasts.

Stuart