My lovely husband, Josh has been an Explorer with the Fire Dept. since he was young in school. He had always dreamed about being a FireFighter so after he graduated he started persuing the matter by taking courses at the local college where he had passed every test there was. He come to realize that in order to get on at the local Fire Dept. he would have to take EMT courses also. He was a man with little faith and didnt take it feeling that he would just fail at it... Time passed by and he met Me, we started our lives together. He went working for another company.

We moved to a small town in Arkansas where he applied for the Fire dept. there. After 2 tries of being rejected, they one day called him to come try out for the position.. He went up there and done the physical test and passed it with flying colors..They were all sooo amazed on how well he did. He was on edge from not hearing back from them. A week and a half went by and he finally got the call.. HE WAS HIRED!!!!!

I was so happy for him, but scared at the same time. I wanted him to fulfill his dream but then when it came down to it I was scared to death about losing him. Now I know that with any job anything could happen and in an instant I could lose him.But this was a totally different outlook for me. I was fine with him just starting the fire dept. because with him just hired on he couldn't go into a burning house or anything because he didnt have the training in THIS state that was required by law. He came home one day and told me he had to go to the academy in a month for 8 weeks and gets to come home on friday evenings and has to go back on sunday evenings. I was alright with it and thought it could be a good thing that we were apart for a while, because our marriage was starting to split in the middle and it would be a time to think upon all things good and bad.

The first week started out pretty good, I thought this is going to be a breeze.....WRONG!!!!! I was working and it made time go by fast. But there came a time when EVERYTHING started falling apart.. My mother, Carolyn watches my son,Drayden while I work. Well there came a time where her sister had to have bypass surgery and we had family members coming from Texas to stay. I knew that she would be to overwhelmed with having to keep up with a 3 year old, with a house full of people, and having to go to the hospital each day which is an hour and a half drive one way. I called Josh's mom and she wanted to take him for 3 weeks which she was coming back to Arkansas anyways for Josh's graduation from the fire academy. I had to send my baby to Illinois with her (6 1/2 hours away) the moment he left, I felt like my world came crashing down..I had no choice.it was either send him off or have he risk of being fired from my job. People often told me, go have some fun. go hang out with your friends, or enjoy it while you can. Being that we have only lived here for 1 year, I have NO friends that could just drop everything just to hang out. Even if I did, I couldn't because I was having to work...Being that I was alone, and had an idle mind my brain was sure traveling FAST the thoughts started to flood my mind. There came a point I started to doubt my husband. I was depressed thinking about if I was a good mom, I was worried that I wasn't good enough for Josh or Drayden. I was REALLY about to lose it. I started feeling ALOT of emotions and couldn't stand it.

Do you know how a one night stand feels like? that's how I honestly felt like it was. He is gone for a week, comes home on the weekend and is gone again if you know what I mean :) I was an emotional mess. I started thinking about what if something ever happened to him, this is what it would feel like. Minus the coming and going lol. but seriously, I would be all alone. I thought about how much of a help he really is. He is a GREAT father and husband and he does anything for us.What would I do if he was gone? The time came down for him to graduate and my baby was coming home...I was walking on cloud 9 lol. I started thinking about all the thoughts I have had in this whole process. Being away from him for that 8 weeks brought ALOT of things to my attention and I'm happy to say we are like newly wed's again. :) Maybe all it takes is for us to step back and look at what things that could have been and what things are now. No one ever told me that being a firefighter's wife would mean having to be away from him for so long is so tough. No one ever told me that being a firefighter's wife would mean being so proud of what you have, No one ever told me that being a firefighter's wife would mean being thankful for what time you have left with them. No one ever told me that being a firefighter's wife would be so special.All in all I love my husband dearly and I'm standing by him all the way. This has brought us closer not only as a husband and wife but as a family too.

P.S   No one ever said that marriage was an easy thing either ;) gotta work hard to have the best.

A Firefighter's Prayer

When I am called to duty, God.

whenever flames may rage,

Give me the strength to save some

life whatever be it's age.

Help me embrace a little child

before it's too late,

or save an older person from

the horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert and

hear the weakest shout,

and quickly and efficiently

to put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling and to give

the best in me,

to guard my every neighbor and

protect his property.

And if according to my fate

I lose my life this day, please

bless with your protecting hand

my family, this I pray.

AMEN