A Journal of Gratitude
62Less of this....
More of This...
And this...
and this....
The Journey
I don't know of anything more important to personal happiness, then being grateful. It's not as easy as it sounds, but once we begin, it becomes easier.
It needs to be our habit. I fully believe the way to change, the way to a better attitude, the way to joy, is enjoying the here and the now.
Are you seeking peace? Does contentment in the day seem far away? Even impossible? Do you hear yourself sounding grumpy? Are you easiy irritated, finding it hard to smile or laugh? When you picture peace, contentment, joy, what does it look like?
I've been under such huge stress, that to laugh was almost impossible. In fact, people who laughed irritated me. I nearly had to leave the room; the urge to get away was strong and demanding.
I worked hard to get out of that mental room of anguish and sadness. I did NOT like the feeling, and rarely feel it anymore. My habit is to write down 5 things of joy, for every one thing of pain. Guess what happens? Your entire thinking process changes.
When we were foster parents, we had "appreciation time" in the evening. In the morning, no matter how busy, the kids could not leave for school until they had a quick hug and told me one thing they were going to do to make it a good day.
Kids in crisis (anyone, really) find it particularly hard to control their emotions, and they are in total disbelief, shocked and in awe that it can even be done. Their comments center around blaming others, their family, their friends, you, the dog, the weather, the teacher, anyone and everyone for their current mood or the pain of the past.
While it's healthy to decide who owns the problem that has affected us, it's not healthy to dwell on it, allowing it to shape our mood forever.
"Step out of it!" I'd advise. It works, I've had to do it most of my life.
I wasn't unsympathetic, but kids, or adults, don't need our sympathy constantly. Understanding, yes. "Poor you..." shouldn't be a large part of how we talk with them, as a rule. For a brief moment, yes. We all need the hug that says "how terrible!"
As the day blooms, our loved ones will be empowered if we show them how to find gratitude. Please note that I am NOT talking about the irritating "polyanna's" who say in the middle of your pain "think about the good things, look at all you've got, you should be ashamed of yourself...."
Being careful not to minimize another's misery when a crisis has occurred is just important as helping them count their blessings. Timing is everything.
I would probably want to bite the person who was constantly minimizing my pain. During other moments, we can teach kids how to be grateful.
Our morning moments of "what can you do today to make it good" were mostly fun. We even gave silly prizes for the most creative statements. For instance, one child would use their sharp wit and say something like "Well, I can try to not pick my nose in class today." Sounded like a plan to me.
Keep a gratitude journal, writing in it habitually everyday, perhaps at the same time daily. Ask others in your family to do the same, and maybe share something from the list at dinnertime. When the kids see you doing it, they will be more likely to participate in such a mind altering and healing experience. Over the years, what a journey you will have recorded. Begin today.
Then, the sheer enjoyment of thinking about good will cause them to repeat the process. Guess what? It feels good to think good thoughts. Thinking about good thoughts leads to doing good deeds. Doing good deeds leads to feeling good...and the whole circle of life improves.
Try it, you'll like it.
I am Marisue, and I am grateful I write.
More in Gratitude series soon here. Go here for a good talk show on gratitude, and here is a downloadable journal!!
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
Terrific hub! I frequently write notes to myself about things I'm grateful for. It's nice to connect with that feeling as often as possible, and then pass it on to others. ;)
Daniel -- thank you! being grateful shows on our faces and in our behavior. I think grateful people smile a lot, aren't hateful, as you've stated, and are fun to be around. Doesn't mean they're any luckier or richer than the rest of us, they're just at peace with life. Or most of the time, anyway. Many days I have to force the smile...but when we do that, we soon feel it. =))) come back often...and go to http://marisuewrites.com for more on the subject of gratitude...I publish there daily as well, exclusively now on this subject until the series is completed. =)
Hi Hope!! Thank you, I agree that lists are so important, not only good for the moment, but re reading and bringing back memories of days gone past and lessons learned. Gratitude is power for change. I believe the world will change -- America can change, by each of us showing our gratitude. We hear so much about what is wrong with our country, and there are many things we need to correct, and not being grateful is one of them!!
come back soon!! http://marisuewrites.com
Great hub marisue! Timed just right for me too, thank you! I had my monthly review today at work and once again I am on written warning for something---there are about 10 things you can be in trouble for at any given moment, and I'm always in trouble for at least one, but I guess I should be grateful because some people are constantly in trouble for three or four. You can be in verbal or written trouble, or on probabation for any of the ten or so things. THis month I am on written warning for not pushing sales enough (I sold 250K which is way over my goal but I'm supposed to sell to EVERYBODY and I don't) and also for not saying the person's full name at least two times during each 2 minute call. I have until November to correct that or go on probation for it.
Geez.
My boss though, as usual, after pointing out that she feels I have a bad attitude and that is my whole problem, told me our team has a new slogan--HOOA--wheich means Head Out Of A*s--as in we are supposed to pull our heads out of our asses starting now. Isn't that nice? Her team was the worst in the place for the past two months, no one on her team is doing well except for two new people who just got hired and are all charged up. I said, "Why do you think only your team is doing so poorly?" And she said she didn't have time to get off the topic.
Anyhoo, I decided to start making lists of what I am grateful for there and being my OWN supervisor, since I think she is clearly a clueless, rather abusive person who doesn't know how to lead. Starting tomorrow I love my job, and will find three reasons every day that I love it. I mean it.
We'll see how that goes. Wish me luck! (And thanks!)
I'm great and I'm full! LOL Honestly, there is a lot to for everyone to be grateful for and especially when things are at their worst, we have to struggle hard to think on the things that make our lives worthwhile to help us focus and to help us get through our daily ordeals. Good hub!
I am Roland and I am greatful for this Hub. Keep writing-marisue
Pgrundy, she sounds horrid and don't let her sour attitude make you feel bad about your work. She obviously couldn't do the job herself. Those kind of "supervisors" have NO idea how to lead and it makes me sick they get put in the position. They end up abusing others and "browbeating" them -- tactics from salvery philosophy. No one owns you.
Maybe your gratitude list could be something like this:
1. I'm grateful I have sense enough not to let these people defeat me.
2. I'm grateful for my paycheck, no matter how temporary it might be.
3. I'm grateful I'm not like them.
4. I'm grateful I will find something else.
5. I'm grateful for my own attitude that is not bad, but reflects theirs and I can change that part.
Damn people anyway. =) hang in there and I hope you find the open door soon.
Hi Talented...looking thru the grateful glass is a bit like Alice In Wonderland...you never know where it's going to take you...but often it's better than not looking.
=)) we all just have to keep on keepin' on -
Hi Roland....thanks and keep reading...come back soon, I'm grateful for all the hubbers too!!!
And I know I'm grateful to have met you and gotten to know you through hubpages! You're the type of person who makes the entire planet a better place!
oh wowowowo thank you!! you have no idea what you said and how much it means to me....I just got a phone call that was disturbing....(a jealous co-worker) and you have just kept my attitude positive. Thank you so much really, for taking the time to say that!! =)) and the feeling is MUTUAL
I love your positive outlook. If we take time to look at the beauty around us, and believe me it's there, our entire mood can change. Yeah, I know this sounds kinda mushy and philosophic, but it works. Beauty is gratitude really: appreciating something for what it is and being good with it.
I was watching an episode of 'Planet Earth' the other day (great series BTW) and was totally blown away by the beauty around us we can't even see, or even look for. It's really quite amazing and humbling at the same time.
My point is that, even though life can be in the outhouse at any given time, it's up to us on how much time we want to spend in it. I don't know about you, but I don't like the smell of the outhouse very much.
Keep on doing what you do! Blessings!
Rob, thank you - i'm gald this piece spoke to you...I have to preach to myself everyday -- we can get negative so quickly -- the world is beautiful and we should take the time to appreciate it. Planet Earth Rocks!!
Back in the 1930's, Dale Carnegie wrote about how to change your OWN behavior to "win friends and influence people". The title said that, but the book was really only about changing us, or changing yourself.
He created 12 rules for success, and one of them was "Act enthusiastic, and you'll BE enthusiastic!"
For the millions who've taken "The Dale Carnegie Course" since it was started decades ago, the 4th session actually taught them how to ACT enthusiastic. There was lots of yelling, screaming and so on, as each class member made a 2 minute speech called "What really makes me mad is..." The other members were told to interrupt and make fun, talk back and so on, while each speaker was yelling and banging on the table with a rolled up newspaper.
Seems crazy, but the session always managed to be the most successful in teaching us how to act in front of others, what they are really thinking, and a lot about who we are and how we ourselves process interactions with others.
And, we all learned that, even though we weren't actually enthusiastic at the start, we certainly became so only a few minutes into the session. Acting out does actually change the way we feel.
There is an entire chapter of his book about this. We end up creating in ourself what we externalize. Not merely what we think about, but what we act out.
We see ourselves acting a particular way, even though we may think differently inside, the way we make ourselves ACT outside changes what we think. Bit by bit, we internalize and begin to believe what we are doing, what we are acting out.
Millions of people have taken the Dale Carnegie course. Many if not most of them probably never realized that the course was not really about influencing others, but about changing and influencing yourself.
We can change the way we feel. We can do it pretty well most of the time. With a little help from others, we can do it almost all of the time.
If we ACT like we are grateful, we can BECOME grateful.
Yes, years ago I read his books, and even took that course. It has always influenced me!! =) thanks for adding that information to this!
Grateful is a state of mind and a state of grace. Grace is courtesy defined. defined reminds me of refined. I am always grateful to accept the sharing that you give in hub pages. I love it when you are upbeat and and funny. i love when you are serious and i am sad when you are down. just keep writing on the wonderful wide diversity that you are capable of. i enjoy it when Marisuewrites.
wow Sixtyorso!! Thank you for your great encouragement. I am up down and all around...'tis life, yes? You have a great day...and keep smiling...it glows clear across the waters!!
wow another fantastic hub!! you are an inspiration.. gratitude or being grateful should be an essential part for all of us.. i emjoyed reading when you said you find 5 things you are grateful for.. that brought a warm smile to my face.. as that is the one thing i do b4 i go to bed each night.. i look back on the day and find 5 things and say thx and write em down..
acceptance and being grateful are two of the things that pulled my tortured soul from the ashes not that long ago and started me back onto the path of self respect and lovingness.. it was the missing key.. the magic "ingredient" that i was searching for but couldnt see was right there all along.. the day i started saying thx and being more accepting and forgiving was the day everything started to turn around..
i admire you greatly for incorporating gratefulness into the kids routine.. kids need to be taught the acts of being humble.. and being appreciative.. you have done well to instil that in them early.. cheers.. your hub has brightened my day.. thx soo much for sharing.. :)
Hi epifanny -- thank you so much for your kind words!! I'm so gald this article spoke to you...you can find more at www.partnershipinparenting.com That is where I do most of my writing about kids. I am so glad we have found each other, as I admire your writings as well!! =))
Thanks for writing this hub. It is the singular most important thing you can do to feel better by focusing on the things that you have vs. the things you don't.
I just did a show on Blog Talk on Gratitude and there I have listed some good resources.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/attractthelifeyoudesi
I have recently found a great free gratitude journal that you can download and put on your computer. I love it!
http://www.gratitudetracker.com/
Check the journal out.
Wow Susan, you provide the best links!! I'm going to bury them both on the hub, ok? this is super!!
Great. I really enjoy the gratitude jouranl. I use it every day and the people who developed it are very nice.
I like to post resources on my show blog after the show. I love connecting people to resources. It gives me great joy.
Hi Susan, well the links are really good, keep up the great work. Are you looking forward to the next debate? I wonder if McCain will look away and point back to Obama this time in any of his talking?
Boy, the Republicans are sure trying to deny the race card...that they frequently play and always deny. This final debate will be a nail biter I think, but I believe McCain will continue to look eradic, poor guy. He just can't stay with his own plan much less quote his own history correctly. I say poor guy sincerely, I just don't believe the man is well.
Our poor country, what a mess and don't you love it when the government says to the average minimum wage family or working person...."save your money...."
what they should have added was "cuz we've sure spent it all....and save nothing..."
what a joke, as they ride in their limo's to their homes and are waited on by their staff. Even Plain ( I mean Palin, but will leave the typo - lol ) billed Alaska thousands of dollars per diem for staying in her own home....never done by any other Governor, and all the while she was slashing other expenditures, like rape kit expenses and money to fight that high crime in Alaska.
I'm just sick and hope the election will be over in the right way, soon.
=)) so much to write about, so little time. LOL
A Journal of Gratitude in the News
- Kester steps down from Desloge ChamberPark Hills Daily Journal11 hours ago
DESLOGE — Debbie Kester is stepping away from the Desloge Chamber of Commerce. Kester told the Daily Journal on Tuesday that she has had enough of the controversy that has recently surrounded the chamber.
- The night a bitter rivalry forged a precious friendshipThe Salt Lake Tribune2 days ago
"In the past, there has existed an unwritten rule in medicine that forbids the emotional and personal involvement of physicians with their patients, as this would [supposedly] undermine the integrity of the physician-patient relationship. Similarly, a rule seemingly exists in the minds and hearts of those involved in a heated rivalry, that you should cheer for your team and against your rival at ...
- Christmas offers opportunities forkindness, generosity and reflectionLubbock Avalanche-Journal2 days ago
There is no other day with the heartwarming and uplifting influence of Christmas .
- Community lights many livesThe Mail Tribune33 hours ago
Santa came early and often to the Moriartys after they were featured in the kick-off story for this season's Light One Candle series on Dec. 6.
- Local group hands out flowersThe Martinsburg Journal2 days ago
MARTINSBURG- Christmas is finally upon us. Today, all of the stress and tension of shopping hopefully will come to a pleasant culmination, as gifts are exchanged, and the fellowship and company of family and friends are enjoyed.
- Last-minute gifts (that won't seem last-minute!)Chicago Sun-Times2 days ago
Procrastinators take heart. There is a light at the end of the Christmas shopping tunnel, even if you've waited this long. Experts say follow a few simple suggestions and you could snag giftsin mere minutes that will look like you spent months planning. Then consider these gift ideas.
- SEO Christmas Wishlist : Perfect Presents for an SEOSearch Engine Journal3 days ago
Every year as the holiday shopping season ramps up, people ask me the same question over and over again "What do you want for Christmas this year?" I consider myself a pretty simple fellow, and always have a difficult time answering this question for a couple of reasons : one because I'm not used to getting gifts, and two because… Check out the SEO Tools guide at Search Engine Journal . SEO ...
- Letters to the EditorBerkeley Voice - Albany Journal2 days ago
In June, I retired after teaching 18 years at Portola Middle School. I'm now there weekly as a PTSA volunteer. I have seen Principal Denise Van Hook and Vice Principal Matthew Burnham's dedication to Portola students. Both spend long hours working through lunch and after school.
Daniel Pyle says:
17 months ago
It is hard to be hateful when you are grateful. The joy of living comes not in getting what we want, but finding out that we don't have what we don't want. Somedays it may only be the air we breathe or the ability to do so, but that is always a great starting point. Excellent Hub. I look forward to the rest of the series.