Pleasure and pain,

Neither can be measured.

Everybody claims they can understand,

They say they have felt it too.

Nobody's pleasure is the same,

The feelings are never equaled.

Nobody's pain can ever be matched,

Because the meanings are always different.

This poem is not like my usual work,

I do not want it to be the same.

Pleasure is something I had,

Recently I have lost it.

Pain is something I now have,

I do my best to hide it.

Having a cold heart is the only way,

Nobody must see my pain.

This is not the way I want it,

This is the way it must be.

People do not realize what pleasure is,

Nor do they understand what pain can do.

Pleasure is suppose to be enjoyed throughly,

Pain should be dealt with head on.

Pleasure is the ultimate spice of life,

Pain makes you think that you are dying.

Pleasure protects you with a shield,

Pain is the only thing that can penetrate it.

My past relationship had both,

It had more pleasure and pain.

Love is pleasure,

Hate is pain.

They go hand in hand,

You can not have one without the other.

The lady I was with,

Gave me pleasure that I never had before.

I hate having so much self control,

Once in a while it takes it's toll on me.

I am getting tired of shutting people out,

But it is the only way I can control all the pain.

I wish I could make her understand,

The feelings I have are imprinted in my heart.

I can not erase the feelings,

I can only cover them up.

When I am around her,

Pleasure is all I feel.

My heart feels everything she is,

She is so very special.

My heart expands to receive all her love,

But it only receives pain.

Pain is not good for an emotional person,

It can destroy everything.

When she walked out of my life,

I thought a part of me died.

The pain was so unreal,

And I am barely surviving.

She wants to be friends,

Unfortunately that is where it is going to end.

The pain I can not afford it,

It would out weigh the pleasure.

I would have died for her,

Only if I knew she truly loved me.

It looks like I will never know,

Which is more pain I must hide.

She does not realize what effect on me she has,

Nor does she realize my shield is no match for her.

She could rip my shield apart,

All she has to do is give me her heart.

That is all I asked for in the first place,

I had it at one point in time.

She got scared,

Fantasy became reality.

The feeling of real love and pleasure,

Knocked her off her feet.

She realized that somebody could really love her,

Without using her for something.

Give, give and keep giving,

Without expecting anything in return.

All I wanted was her happiness,

I never meant her pain, just pleasure.

There was no end to what I would do,

As long as I heard the true words of " I Love You".

That was all I ever needed from her,

We would survive anything and everything.

My pain is something she will never understand,

Nor will she ever realize it.

I think she will have to read this,

Before she can even start to comprehend.

The world was my own,

As long as her love was known.

Secrets only cause pain,

Honesty only creates pleasure.

I want to cry,

But I can not afford to release it.

All I wanted was to love somebody,

As much as somebody could love me.

I can be difficult most of the time,

So a relationship with me is very hard.

I need somebody whose completely open,

Someone who can tell me anything.

I never asked for much,

Just a tender, sweet and loving touch.

Written and Created by

Raymond Choiniere.