YES!! Just kidding. Well, we are all going to die some day, but you won't die because your inhaler is unavailable. After December 31, 2008 the government is pulling the plug on CFC containing inhalers and make HFA inhalers mandatory. Apparently they are causing male pattern baldness to lemurs in Madagascar. No, just kidding about that too. They are messing up our Ozone layer. Cry me an ocean. Some examples of the new HFA inhalers include Proair HFA, Ventolin HFA and Proventil HFA.

So what now? Well, thanks to the tireless efforts of mad scientists, altruistic politicians (LOL), and huge amounts of tax-payer dollars we have invented a far inferior and for some entirely ineffective alternative! HFA inhalers! Great work guys!! HFA stands for hydrofluoroalkane. Mmmm. Tastes great on toast too. Ugghh. Oh, and did I mention they cost like 3 times as much?? In America that's what we call progress! They fall under the wonderful "brand name" copay for insurance, so that may mean selling some vital organs to pay for them now.

Seriously, they do work fine for many folks. But there have been numerous reports of inneffectiveness, allergic reactions, and actually worsening of symptoms on these bad boys. People allergic to corn have had trouble with them. As well as people who secretly think that eatting nothing but cheetoes and Suzie Q's for eternity. Okay, I made that last one up. But some people just don't like 'em.

What should you do if the idea of switching to an HFA inhaler is currently keeping you up at night chewing your fingernails down to your wrists and occassionally causing you to roll up into the fetal position in the corner of your kitchen floor?

1) Try it. Really. In spite of what all the terrible reports say it probably won't actually kill you. Your HFA inhaler has the exact same active ingredient that your previous inhaler had. The only difference is the propellent.

2) Realize that the mist is going to be softer and taste different in the HFA inhaler, but these things don't necessarily make them evil.

3) Prime it. Clean it. Count it. Prime them first for them to work. Clean the plastic container frequently (mild soap and water is fine). And keep track of how many doses you are using by making a large mark with a purple crayon on your bathroom wall. Tell your spouse the pharmacist said so. Actually, if you are having trouble keeping track of how many puffs you have used the Ventolin HFA comes with a dose counter. Mention my name for an additional 2.3537% off. :)

Okay. Thats it. If you want to vent, take action against the HFA inhaler mandate, or just read messages from other people venting you can sign the national petition to save CFC's!! I'm currently having t-shirts and bumper stickers made. Email me if you want to be on the waiting list.