I would like to write a tribute to my first husband. It's funny the first time we met, I thought we had a real connection. He asked me out, however, I was with someone else. I then moved out of state for over a year. I dated 3 good men, then moved back home. It was soon after, I ran into him again. We started dating, and I remember thinking he was the Nicest man I had ever dated. He truly was the Nicest.

He brought me a rose to work one day, and I just realized I did not want to let him go. He was moving out of state, to attend med-school. I wasn't lilke me, however, other people we knew we're getting engaged just like that. I asked him to see what he wanted, and he agreed. We started planning the wedding and I started to get cold feet. He brought me some brochures of colleges in the town. He was ahead of my thinking, how did he know I would get a little nervous? Anyway, I thought that was so sweet, to bring me brochures to get my mind off of who knows what?

I literally had to jump in with my eyes half-closed; because I would get so scared. I had to just do it, and so I did. We had a nice wedding, then a little get together. We would have a nice reception at Christmas, during the school break. My mom and sister planned the reception and would send me pics of things and call me to ask my wishes. Things were fine at first, then started to get a little shaky. Our foundation was weak and people were bugging him or I; and he started to doubt things. Then I started to doubt him.

We had some very special memories like the time I went to classes with him, or went to the library with him. He showed me things he was interested in, with work. I know I was quiet, that was one of my problems. Communication wasn't my strong trait at the time. I liked my job, orthodontic assistant. I liked the college I attended. I liked planting flowers in our front yard. He had a lot going on with school and work.

I wished we would have spent our honeymoon in the Bahamas! We really should have done that. We didn't talk as much as we should have. I didn't know he thought of attending school somewhere else. We were in a really small town, which I really liked. Not knowing if I'd like a small town.

I believe my fault was communication. I was just a quiet person, then. I talk way too much now. I thought I saw him the other day, and wanted to talk with him, so much. I got scared away. I still have an attraction for him, and I think he did too.

Anyway, we were only together over a year. The reception was really nice. He asked me to come back, but didn't wait for my response. Sometimes I wonder . . .

I met his second wife, I wonder if there still together?

I hope he's happy and want him to know, he has a place in my heart.

I felt comfortable with him; however, he didn't trust me.