Women have come a long way since the stone ages. One would think that any woman out in the world would be able to curtail an abusive relationship. One would be wrong in the assumption. Unfortunately, right now, there is a woman, somewhere, probably more than one woman, being abused.

Other women tend to look upon these women as weak. Why don't they just leave? If you've never been in one of these relationships, it is understandable that you would think this way. Many people judge these women just as harshly as the men abusing them. There are so many options now. So many shelters. So much help. There just seems to be no excuse. It's hard to understand why a woman would submit herself to this kind of treatment.

But there is more to this than meets the eye. Women in abusive relationships often have little to no self esteem. They have come to believe, for one reason or another, that they deserve to be treated this way. Some of these women have tried to get out, but found it impossible. Some are just terribly frightened.

In cases of low self esteem, it most likely stems back to their childhood. You will probably find that this woman has been abused at some point during her childhood. This is particularly sad, because these women have given up. They either never got the help they needed or the abuse was severe enough to leave a long lasting mark on their self worth, and nobody ever told them differently.

An abusive man can make it impossible for some woman to escape. An abused woman may have no access to a phone, the internet, a car or anything else. An abusive man can convince the neighbors that his wife is ill. So if she leaves the house, the neighbor may call him at work. She may have no access to money. She may have children she needs to protect. It may be really easy for spectators to offer solutions, but to a woman in an abusive relationship, it's very, very, complicated.

And finally, Fear is a powerful motivator. One should never under-estimate the power of fear. Fear can make the strongest person crumble. An abused woman has a lot to be afraid of. What if people don't believe her? What if he walks right through the restraining order? What if he hurts her children or her family? What if he finds her? Where will she go? How will she live? Who can she trust? The consequences for a woman in an abusive relationship are much more dire for her, than an outsider can understand. Even if her abuser could do nothing, he has likely convinced her that he can do so much.

Unfortunately, the sad truth is, that many women find it safer to be abused than to escape abuse. If you know a woman in an abusive relationship, don't give up on her. Someday, she may need your help. She needs to know she deserves better. She needs to know she has support and she needs to know it isn't her fault. Don't berate her abuser, or visibly try to get her to leave. This will only anger her abuser and cause more pain for her. Be a quiet support system. Let her know you are there anytime she needs you. If you feel so obliged, you can document the abuse for her. Often times women feel trapped because they can't prove it. Just be there to support her when she can get past her fear, and leave.