A SCANDAL TOO FAR – WHY THE GREEKS ARE TURNING AWAY FROM POLITICS

THE HELLENIC ART FORMS – ARGUING AND DODGING TAX.

Greeks love politics. They did invent it, after all, and still like to prove that they are the leading experts on the subject. Every taverna is filled with Ouzo-fuelled men, swearing and gesticulating, as they try to put the world to rights. Greeks are born with politics in their blood, and have a god-given right to express an opinion about absolutely anything.

A Greek man will never admit that he is wrong, so political arguments have been known to go on for centuries, passing from father to son. Even if you engage in a conversation about the ‘Bush Bail’s Out His Wall Street Buddies’ plan, with a 95 year old goatherder, he will still have a valid opinion. Such is the Greek man’s love of heated debate, that knowing anything about the subject is not essential. They do, however, have a genuinely deep, and sophisticated, knowledge of politics.

There is, however, a worrying sign that the birthplace of democracy is starting to fall out of love with politics. To be more exact; not politics, but politicians. Dodging tax is a well practiced art-form, in Greece, so a certain amount of political corruption is regarded as healthy. Greeks have the attitude that, as long as they are doing well, they do not mind politicians taking a small cut. Such goodwill only stretches so far, and recent scandals have irreversibly damaged this utilitarian view.

Whilst there have been various financial scandals flying about for years, the notorious Siemens scandal has completely changed the political landscape. Without going into too much detail, during the Athens Olympics, every single political party was bribed, by Siemens, to award the company lucrative contracts for the games. This has uncovered a long list of shameful tales of bribery and backhanders, and a lot of Greek politicians are now very worried. The authorities are studying personal bank accounts in Liechtenstein, and the politicians are sweating.

THE FALLOUT FROM THE SIEMENS SCANDAL

What the politicians did not take into account, was the sheer efficiency and thoroughness of the German police. Unlike Greek public servants, there is no way of threatening them with a posting to a remote village, somewhere on the Turkish border. There, the highlight of the day, for any policeman, is rounding up Mrs Papadopoulou’s wandering goats. Now that the Germans are involved, the collective arse-covering attempts of the two main parties may be to no avail, and the scandal is threatening the entire political status-quo.

Greece, like the rest of the world, is seeing extortionate rises in food and fuel bills, and the credit crunch is stemming the flow of tourists. This is the lifeblood of the Greek economy, and the people have much less money in their pockets. Seeing politicians trouser huge bribes, of thousands, if not millions, of euros, has really aroused intense apathy. The ex-Minister of Culture, Christos Zahopoulos, recently tried to kill himself, due to impending financial and sexual blackmail scandals. He threw himself from a balcony, but the fat, incompetent, fish-faced fool could not even manage to do that right.

The ruling New Democracy government has a tiny majority, of one seat. Normally, they would be teetering on the edge of political ruin, under intense attack from the opposition parties. The problem is that nobody trusts the other side, either. The opposition, PASOK, is tainted by the Siemens scandal, whilst ND is under investigation, for ‘misappropriation’ of pension funds.

Neither party can take the moral high ground, and there is an ominous silence amongst the populace. The Greek people are naturally militant, and love nothing better than a strike, even stretching to a small riot, if news is slow. This passion seems to be dying, as the malaise and apathy that have struck the Anglo-Saxon nations, appear to be spreading to this corner of the Mediterranean.

THE NOBLE PRACTICE OF OSTRACISM

Perhaps it is time to bring back the Ancient Greek practice of Ostracism. Thousands of eligible Ancient Athenian voters would dutifully line up, waiting to drop a small stone tablet into an urn. Inscribed upon this tablet would be the name of a prominent citizen, and the politician garnering most votes would be exiled for ten years.

That seems to be a most civilised practice, and one that should be immediately adopted by all democracies. Would Blair and Bush have been so keen to spread love, peace and democracy, with bombs, if they knew that they would be exiled and stripped of all their wealth? They would be forced to beg in every village they passed through, and would be beaten around the head, by an old Greek lady wielding a stick. That is true democracy in action.

THE END OF CIVILISATION?

A world where the Greeks cannot be bothered to talk about politics is a poorer world. Their incessant arguing and shouting show that they care about their own destiny, and want to have a say in how their lives are run. Many Greeks travel for days to vote, whilst voters in the UK and US cannot even be bothered to walk to the nearby polling station.

Normally, the Greek people would be shouting at the television set, or marching through Athens, denouncing the corruption. Now, they simply cannot be bothered. If the Greeks are falling out of love with politics, then there is something wrong with society. As the saying goes, anybody who wants to be a politician should be locked away, as a danger to the public.