"One need not exclude the other . . . " S. Grace

As a Life Skills Coach of 20+ years I am asked many a question during my sessions with truly gifted individuals. This question came up more than once today and it got me thinking that something besides fire and a full moon is in the air. (1) In honoring today's whisper by Divine Presence, I offer a few ideas here for comment and/or reflection.

"How do I reconcile my sexuality with my spirituality . . . ??

Religious beliefs often interfere and/or inhibit sexual expression. For most, this need not be the case. My belief system (2) encourages, promotes and facilitates individuals to make sound, deliberate choices based on their most authentic selves.

"Sometimes finding our true selves takes years of excavation, sometimes just a single compelling soul-level debate can be enough to change the trajectory of one's life . . ." S. Grace

I coach based upon certain premises: The premise that people are basically decent by nature and that any deviation toward the other direction is madness . . . That we are independent thinking adults and have learned the value of balance in our lives . . . That we only want the best for others as we want the best for ourselves . . . That we have developed enough self esteem to muster the discipline and self-examination to live authentic lives . . . That sustained contentment/authenticity is our goal and that we have a willingness to examine the areas where our actions are in direct conflict.

DEFINITION of Balance in Life:

"One foot planted solidly on Earth and one foot dancing merrily with Angels . . ." S. Grace

I encourage the blurring of boundaries between sexuality and spirituality with people who truly love each other. I was lucky; my early adult experiences included healthy doses of both sexuality and spirituality. (3) For that reason I was not willing to compromise later; one without the other is only half the equation. Plus, it seemed logical that settling for "best at the moment" left no room for "best of my Life."

Then there is the question of worthiness. I was a quick understudy for so many who had come before me (no pun intended). Those a few years older often lament their pasts. "Oh, if he/she only knew how many partners I had he/she would not be with me . . . " "My lover is so wonderful, so perfect I wish I hadn't been so promiscuous looking for love in all the wrong places . . . " "I am not worthy of his/her affections; if he/she only knew . . ." Without the feeling of worthiness, spirit flees from sexuality.

My recommendations to clients generally fall along the following guidelines:

Do not compromise sexuality with a lack of spirituality;

"No" is a complete sentence;

"Conscience" and "consequences" are first-class words;

Abstinence is a valid choice;

Abortion is not planned birth control;

Condoms are compulsory;

Intentions to be very clear between partners;

Fair play is equally important for sports and bedrooms;

Be direct and ask for what you need/want/expect;

Do not flirt/engage or have sex with spouses that are not your own;

Sex that involves monetary exchange, whether on the street or behind closed doors is still known by same name.

In short, sexuality without spirituality can be an empty, albeit pleasurable, act. Spirituality without the awareness of earthly delights can be just as empty.

If you like what you read, please consider a "thumbs up" and then adding a comment below!! I look forward to your thoughts and feelings!!

(1) A full chapter about the benefits of combining Sexuality and Spirituality is in the soon-to-be-published book, Blue Waters Speak to Me, by S. Grace

(2) AUTHENTICS, Life Skills by Conscious Design, created by S. Grace

(3) My childhood is another story