About Punishing Daughter for Having Sex
90
This is not a Jerry Springer take on weird relationships where the mother is angry because the daughter brought home another baby without a father and does not have a job. This is an answer to a question asked on a social forum and is generalized for that matter.
The scenario is that the daughter is seventeen years old and the mother discovered that she is having sex. There is no information provided as to whether or not the daughter is using protected or unprotected sex, just should the mother punish her for sexual behavior. There is no inferences as to whether the mother caught her daughter in the act or whether or not she found clues in her daughter's room. It is highly unlikely if the daughter would came up to the mother and say ,"Mother I am having sex," otherwise the topic would not be about punishment.
No one confesses if they think that they will get punished for their actions at least not at the teenage level. So with that said, lets get to what the mother should do if she finds out that her daughter is having sex based on the aforementioned undisclosed premises.
Mothers are aware that times have changed and the school system seem to be quite liberal when it comes to knowledge that its students are having sex upwards from eleven years old. School forms for immunizations are asking whether or not the child has been pregnant or is pregnant. These are recent school forms as the school administrations know that 17 years old most likely are having sex.
Mothers, it is a fact that you want the best for your child and would rather they stay children in all ways and most of all when it comes to engaging in sex until marriage. The school administrations know that is not going to happen, abstinence is not happening. It is time for mothers to face the fact of teen sexual practices and take the appropriate action.
Punishment is for the penal systems and is often applied to people who disobey the law. The subjective law of not having sex while being a teen is unsustainable and very unlikely as the hormones are at its peak during that time of life. You punish a dog for disobedience, you should teach a child and if that did not work as in the case of the mother punishing the 17 year old for having sex, the best thing to do is to take precautions.
Years ago, before the sexual promiscuity among teenagers, this advice would not have been given. The schools know that children are engaging in sex and now because of findings on the mother's part this knowledge have to be dealt with proactively. Mothers who are suspicious that their daughters are having sex and many of them should be, they should take their daughters to the family physician or the health department to get guidance on what to do in the situation. As birth control pills are known to regulate that time of a month, issuance of a supply will not seem that you are missing the mark.
If you are old school and want to be discreet, then you can use the visit to the physician as way to have a more comfortable time of the month or anyway that you want to phrase it. Your main concern is to not have a pregnant teenager once you know that sexual activity is going on. As the mother, in all likelihood, the daughter is going to come to you for help and support if she was to get pregnant.
Prevent teenage pregnancy with resources from schools that offer sex education that is sometimes called family living. These classes start as early as middle school. Once your teenager is educated, you should make that visit to the physician's office. If your daughter seem to be the studious type, you may still want to consider the proclivity of her being in a situation of a sexual nature. Teenagers are not all telling even the best of them, so it is best to follow the advice given with signing up for sex education and then taking preventative measures. It is a well known fact that children having children only makes it harder for them to be successful contributors to society and to themselves.
At one time, teenage girls would leave school if they became pregnant. Now the school allows for pregnant girls to continue to pursue an education which is a good thing. However, as a mother you should not punish you daughter because she is seventeen and having sex. Unknowingly, the teenage daughter is really punishing herself. Should a mother punish her teenage daughter for having sex? No, the mother should set a good example by adhering to school programs that educate on the subject of teenage sex and take preventative measures.
Television advertising says that talking to your teens prevent them from using drugs. But a teenager who is engaging in sex is not listening to her mother but to the partner who may be feeding on teenage insecurities by having her to prove her love with sex. A mother's love overshadow decisions that the teenage girls make at that moment if the mother have been a good role model. If all else fails mothers, do not punish your daughter. Show your love with a face to face talk, filling out the proper school forms and making that visit to the physician to start your own preventative measures.
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
rvsource thank you for your comment.
Your response was well received and appreciated especially hearing from a father who had to learn that his teen was engaging in sex. Your response made sense realizing that when you were a teen that you may have done some of the same things. Open dialogue is so important.I hope that you are having a good and open relationship with your teenager now that you believe they will be careful with their lives. Your commnt from a father's view is much appreciated.
Thanks Lindagoffigan,
It helped me to have this conversation with her. I hope our relationship improves more over time.
Great advice as ever Linda on a difficult subject.
HealthTip, thank you for your comment. Good to hear from you.
Having recently passed through teen years, I can mostly agree with Linda. Trying to prevent it in terms of grounding or severe punishment is only going to agitate the teen further.
My parents raised me to believe that sex is an act of love. It was never enforced to necessarily wait until marriage, just until I knew I loved that person. Teenagers get confused with that L word sometimes and need support from their parents when that L word falls through and the teen (daughter) realizes she's given her virginity to someone who didn't love her. If she goes to her mother or father for support on this and they shun her or punish her for having sex in the first place, they're only going to distance themselves greatly.
Personally, around the time I hit 17 or 18, my parents allowed me to have birth control and instituted a "don't ask, don't tell" policy-- where they didn't ask and I didn't talk about it, because they knew they had raised me to be educated enough to use protection and be smart about who I chose to have sex with.
Very wise advice.I have 2 daughters ,18 and 15 years old. I remember when I was a teen my mothers view of sex was to say ' you are not doing that'.Yea like that worked. I married at 18 and had my 1st daughter at 19 (no we did not get married because I was preg.)At an early age I planned on informing my girls about sex and answered any questions they had.I told them the I did not want them to engage in sex but that I would respect them if they chose to.The only thing I demanded from them was for them to come to me and let me know if they were thinking about having sex so I could help them get protection .I am happy to say that they have respected themselves and talked freely about their choices. I think being honest and not attacking their choice is the best thing for them to respect us as parents and to help them understand the dangers of sex with someone without being protected. I do find it funny that people(as in teens and some adults) can get into a sexual relationship and is embarresed to ask if they are protected . My girls know one of the most important thing to say to a fellow is " no glove no love" .After all getting with child is not the only worry they have.
Respect your children and they will respect you and themselves in turn.
BlazeTheVampire, thank you for your comment.
You get a WOW for your response especially with the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy implemented by your parents.
The L word is the magnet that boys use to get girls into situations that could change their future. Your parents did a good job raising you, I can tell by your response.
I hope that other parents reading your response will realize that when you refrain a teen, you make what you are barring from them more desirable.
Your comment is much appreciated and good luck on Hubpages and in your future endeavors.
Tath, thank you for your comment.
I agree that respect is reciprocal when dealing with teenagers.
I applaud you for having open dialogue with your daughters about safe sex and not prohibiting them. Knowing that they have a concerned mother is probably keeping the eighteen year old from the what happened to you a long time ago.
A good Mom protects her kids from any experiences that could change their future based on their own experiences and you daughters must be receptive to such a good Mom as you.
Your comment is much appreciated.
Their aren't many fourteen year old virgins in the UK. My guess is that they are in the minoruty in the US but reliable stats are hard to come by.
I never had a relationship with a woman who lost her virginity after the the age of 14. None of the woman I have known could be seen as crazy, irresponsible or in any of the way out of the ordinary.
It is best to live with the facts. Teenagers like sex.
As for protecting teenager daughters from bad experiences, just make sure the present boyfriend is a decent kid and understands condoms then leave it to them.
If he is a drug-crazed psychopath ask yourself where you went wrong.
Sexual facts, thank you for your comment. Your last sentence got a chuckle from me. But a teenager finding herself with a drug-crazed psychopath may need more protection than a condom.
Your comment is much appreciated.
Excellent hub with practical advice. Sex and teens is nothing new! It's been going on as long as there have been teens.Since there are no longer societal consequences such as having to "leave school" if you become pregnant (not that long ago it was a "disgrace") the parents' reaction should mirror society's.
I agree that punishment will only lead to rebellion and taking the behavior underground. Much wiser to counsel your teen about protecting him/herself physically against pregancy and STDS but also EMOTIONALLY, as the part of today's teen sex that worries me is how flipping casual it is.
That bed hopping that used to go along with the freedom of college has moved down into junior high and even middle school. Of course it's not "bed hopping" but "hooking up."
But hey, as long as your child is developing a HEALTHY ATTITUDE about sexuality and not endangering him/herself,that's what matters.
Mighty Mom, thank you for your comment.
Sexual activity does start early in school and all the measure mentioned in the article is helpful. The most important thing is that the teen knows the dangers of unprotected sex and how to guard against early pregnancies that can hinder their future.
Your comment is greatly appreciated.
It depends of the age of your daughter. But I think that they learn the dangers of unprotected sex at school. So a mother should not punish her daughter for that, the best would be to talk with her daughter about it.
This is a good article and of course there is no preventing them from having sex if they decide to and I would worry today more than when my children where teens with all the diseases, I think, more than the pregnanacies, although I know that is a huge consideration and conscequences having the baby or destroying it and one effecting so many, possibly for life. I would definately have that talk, and I think it is outrageous at how young sex does begin with kids today, and I beleive this has to have something to do with the parents or schools teachings, possibly forcing facts a little too soon. If there's candy in the other room and I don't know it, I won't go looking for it or perhaps children should be encouraged more in other directions with physical activities or inspirations where sex is not thrown in their face at such a young age although with tv and computers, I doubt there is much hope, but I think I would certainly try that avenue, not every young person who knows of sex is having it, children not even physically mature having sex just puts a lot of qusetions in my mind, they should be playing dolls and trucks...not house. Children this young having sex are definately not getting the supervision they need. I was a nosey child and learned about the birds and bees, hanging around my mom and her sisters or mother well before I was ten but it never entered my mind to try to have sex.
Mighty Mom and Egoodman, thank you both for such practical advice and adding helpful information to this discussion. Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Pollyannalana, thank you for your comment. All of what you said makes a whole lot of sense.
The media is responsible for flashing sexual television in front of kids. the television can be turned off but the flick of a knob when you are not looking could reveal more taboo TV.
However by not telling these kids at home and being evasive is going to make them learn from the kids on the school bus. I think that with each generation, kids gets a little more mature in their thinking and the media knows that.
However, talking with your child and not hiding information is going to be more effective. Your comment is much appreciated.
I don't agree with punishing them of course, but to just hand the riens of what is and isn't acceptable teenage behavior over to the school is a rediculous idea. Families can and do have better moral fiber than just letting kids "do what they will". Sex is for adults. Period. That's why we have laws about statutory rape and so on. Kids just aren't mature enough for the emotional consequences, or the physical ones. If you don't have a job to pay for STD testing, condoms and God forbid, having a baby, you shouldn't be having sex. Kids aren't entitled to have sex. It is a pleasure that should be enjoyed by responsible adults. Not infatuated teenagers with no sense of responsibility.
Mrs. Obvious, thank you for your comment.
Your passionate response is well received but does nothing to address the fact that kids are having sex at ridiculous young ages.
All of the would of and should of about families and schools are not going to stop what is a national fact.
The information contained in the article is optimal and that is to sign the permission slip to help schools who are having to change their curriculums around teenage pregnancies. Do not deny your kids sex education called family life in school.
The facts contained in the article are true about school forms asking if the child is pregnant or have ever been pregnant. These are actual questions being asked because the schools knows the climate of its student.
The best recourse is to help the schools by allowing them to teach sex education, family open dialogue about the dire consequences of sex and the most important recourse which is prevention from STD and unwanted pregnancies with a visit to the family physician.
i sit here having read this my 13 year old sitting next to me and my only question is why are they talking of punishing only the daughter for having sex? what about punishing the son for the same thing. i have one of each and my partner and i agree that they both have the same rules for this type of activity. the only difference would be that my son can't come home pregnant, but he would still have to be responsible for his actions.
Shanina, thank you for your comment. You answered your own question about why boys were not the subject of being punished for having sex when you wrote that your son can't come home pregnant. He would have to be responsible for his actions is a given; but most of the time the girl and the mother take on the responsiblilty of raising a child born of teenage parents.
Mothers of pregnant daughters find it difficult to not help a daughter in such distress.
Shanina, you must understand that boys go only as far as the girl allows them when it comes to sexual activities. The girl has the most important reponsiblity of saying no to sex that can lead to pregnancy and can ruin her future.
Boys are just as responsible but for the most part may go awol on their responsiblity especially if they are underaged and unable to work. The subject here, remember is teenage sex that can start as young as eleven years old. Who is going to hire an eleven year old and who would even consider a boy at that age responsible enough to care for a child?
That is why so much importance is placed on the girl in such a situation and is the topic of, "About Punishing Daughter for Having Sex."
Because the girl has the power here when it comes to succumbing her body to the wishes of the boyfriend. the artcle was placed with the girl as the one punishable for her sexual activity.
The punishment, however, would be her own weakness of giving in to a boy, unprotected or not fully considering the dire consequences of teen sexual activities.
Teen pregnancies stumps haapy, productive and progressive lives and all because the girl did not say no.
The girl has the power and should use it when it comes to teenage sex because it is her future most likely to suffer.
Yes no babies for young ladies!
Drew Brezzy, thank you for your comment.
Very good advice. Kids receive so many mixed messages today and sex is everywhere they look, regular TV, video games, school friends, parents don't need to think it will not happen to their kids, as hard as teenage pregnancy is the other focus is education about what can really happen with unprotect sex other than pregnancy. Even kids with strong moral backgrounds can give into peer pressure, it has happened since mankind has been around. The more education we provide the better choices they can make.
NCWriteDK, you comment is much appreciated. The key to unprotected sex and unexpected pregnancies is education and stronger moral values. These values should be learnt from home but oftentimes kids are misled by peer pressures. Very well thought out response.
I'm sorry, but what is practical is not always the best course of action, simply the least troublesome. Most parents have become ineffective managers. It seems like many are complacent to say that their past sins excuse the next generations and so on, that there is no solution, no stopping ourselves. Teenagers having sex is not new, just more widely reported, more widely accounted in statistics. At one time it was the norm, as it still is in many other nations. Of course, in those times, and in those places, becoming a family, creating identifiable roles in a structured society were considered important. We live in a civilization that takes pride in tearing down roles and crossing borders and boundaries.
There are many teens who are raised believing that celibacy is an answer, a viable virtue, and they do accomplish it until marriage. Spiritually, comprehending sex is taking responsibility for more than desire. Faith requires more than what one sees and feels.
Parents can't expect celibacy if they never preach it, never teach it as doable. A child's view of life starts with the parents and if your children respect and reverence you enough, no other influences will tempt them. That might not sound practical or realistic to some but I have to believe that is only because so many have already bought into the 'what if they do' question before it ever happens. The training of morals starts from day one with love and respect.
Am Werner, thank you for your comment.
Celibacy is taught unknowingly when parents tell their kids to restrain from sex. Your ideas are welcomed and sensible but not to the caliber of helping stop teenage pregnancies.
Teenage pregancy has been in society but now that there is open dialogue about the dangers, the most parents can hope for is adherence as not to effect their sons and daughters.
Your comment was much appreciated.
Telling my mother, at 18, that I was sexually active with my then (and current) boyfriend was one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever had. My mother was obviously disappointed and angry, and she blamed herself for what had happened. I had to tell her over and over again that I knew I was ready when it happened, that I had given it months of thought, and that I had been steadfast in my use of protection from pregnancy and STD's. While she eventually did accept my decision and allowed me to begin taking birth control pills, it definitely caused a rift in our relationship for quite some time.
Of course I am going to agree with most of the above posts and say that punishment is never the way to go in order to prevent teen sex. Parents should educate their children (girls AND boys) about how to have safe sex and definitely back the idea that sex is something important and emotional, as well as physical. Sex is not something to be taken lightly, but it is also something that parents of some teens have to accept and just make sure they are doing responsibly.
Also...why is this post only about girls? It could be theorized that if boys took sex as seriously as the majority of girls, there would be less sexual activity amongst teens in general.
I do have some problems with the attitudes on display here. Is abstinence that difficult? Kids get angry and lash out for whatever reason. It could be described as normal but we teach them to restrain themselves. Kids will take things that do not belong to them, do we say "oh well they are children/teenagers they can't help it, we may as well let them get on with it." I know I probably reflect my generation but are we to have no absolutes?
hotpink77, thank you for your comment. Your comment is intelligent and well written. Your open conversation with your mother and her agreement to let you go on birth control pills will be a huge impact on mothers reading this article confronted with teenage sex.
About Punishing Daughter For Having Sex is not directed to boys because of culture's propensity to see the girl as the one who can say no or take the proper precautions to prevent teenage pregnancy. As I wrote to the concerns of another commenter about the gender selection in this article, boys are culturally inclined to seek sex at an early age and as the girl is the sought after partner to "experiment" should be the one to say no with other means to keep herself from getting pregnant. Needless to say, boys can not get pregnant, anatomically, and the girls must protect themselves from procreation, which is the byproduct of having unprotected sex.
It is thought that the roles of women and men have changed in society with the women rights movement but little has changed in the arena of boys seeking girls for sex as their playground. Women and girls must guard themselves against violations of their bodies for the sake of a man's enjoyment without any resultant responsibility.
Women are still paid less than men when working the same jobs. Women are approached differently and sometimes in a good way because of their gender. There is no argument that women and men are different and girls need to learn early on that their bodies are meant to be cherished by someone who truly loves them. Love at the teenage stage can be serious but for the most part the game being played is that of boys seeing how far sexually he can get with a girl. The further the girl allows him, means that she has the greatest potential to get pregnant. Once pregnant, as the child is conceived within the womb, the child is with the girl and rightfully looks to her for care. Teenage girls are in no position to raise a child and must learn how to say no or to not engage in unprotected sex.
Culture has not changed in the wake of the women's movement and that the world is in the 21st century. American culture optimizes that fathers will take care of their children but expects the mother to perform the job of nurturing. You will see many more mother walking pushing strollers than fathers because that is just the way that American culture is. There is talk of change and equality but the responsibility of taking care of a teenage child still has the mother of the teenage mother caring for the child while the teenage boy continues his studies.
The real event is the birth of a child and the only real way to stop teen age pregnancy is to have the teenage girl to say no or to use protection from pregnancy and STD's. The courts have changed favorably with the child support system of having unwed mothers get help from the fathers. But boys are having sex with girls when they are only eleven years old. Eleven year old boys can not work and the responsibility of raising the child falls on the family of the girl who got pregnant.
For the most part girls are more accountable for teenage pregnancies because they can stop sexual advances by saying no or having protection. American culture does not place that responsibility on the teenage boy who at that age is more or less experimenting with sex. It is up to the teenage girl to understand that for the most part, feelings of love at that age is pure infatuation. Teenage girls should not ruin their future by submitting to a boy who may be saying what she wants to hear to get his sexual satisfaction. The feminist movement has worked to get more women job equalization but the financial divide continue with the male making about over 30% more doing the same work. As culture has not made the strides to make an equal partnership in the workplace where the woman would have to work to support a child, she should not put herself in a position at an early age to put her future in peril with teenage pregnancy. That is why it is very important for mothers not to punish their daughters but to educate and inform them of protection that is available to protect them from the teenage pregnancy that can change their future not for the better but for the worse.
hotpink77, thank you for your comment. Your comment is intelligent and well written. Your open conversation with your mother and her agreement to let you go on birth control pills will be a huge impact on mothers reading this article confronted with teenage sex.
About Punishing Daughter For Having Sex is not directed to boys because of culture's propensity to see the girl as the one who can say no or take the proper precautions to prevent teenage pregnancy. As I wrote to the concerns of another commenter about the gender selection in this article, boys are culturally inclined to seek sex at an early age and as the girl is the sought after partner to "experiment" should be the one to say no with other means to keep herself from getting pregnant. Needless to say, boys can not get pregnant, anatomically, and the girls must protect themselves from procreation, which is the byproduct of having unprotected sex.
It is thought that the roles of women and men have changed in society with the women rights movement but little has changed in the arena of boys seeking girls for sex as their playground. Women and girls must guard themselves against violations of their bodies for the sake of a man's enjoyment without any resultant responsibility.
Women are still paid less than men when working the same jobs. Women are approached differently and sometimes in a good way because of their gender. There is no argument that women and men are different and girls need to learn early on that their bodies are meant to be cherished by someone who truly loves them. Love at the teenage stage can be serious but for the most part the game being played is that of boys seeing how far sexually he can get with a girl. The further the girl allows him, means that she has the greatest potential to get pregnant. Once pregnant, as the child is conceived within the womb, the child is with the girl and rightfully looks to her for care. Teenage girls are in no position to raise a child and must learn how to say no or to not engage in unprotected sex.
Culture has not changed in the wake of the women's movement and that the world is in the 21st century. American culture optimizes that fathers will take care of their children but expects the mother to perform the job of nurturing. You will see many more mother walking pushing strollers than fathers because that is just the way that American culture is. There is talk of change and equality but the responsibility of taking care of a teenage child still has the mother of the teenage mother caring for the child while the teenage boy continues his studies.
The real event is the birth of a child and the only real way to stop teen age pregnancy is to have the teenage girl to say no or to use protection from pregnancy and STD's. The courts have changed favorably with the child support system of having unwed mothers get help from the fathers. But boys are having sex with girls when they are only eleven years old. Eleven year old boys can not work and the responsibility of raising the child falls on the family of the girl who got pregnant.
For the most part girls are more accountable for teenage pregnancies because they can stop sexual advances by saying no or having protection. American culture does not place that responsibility on the teenage boy who at that age is more or less experimenting with sex. It is up to the teenage girl to understand that for the most part, feelings of love at that age is pure infatuation. Teenage girls should not ruin their future by submitting to a boy who may be saying what she wants to hear to get his sexual satisfaction. The feminist movement has worked to get more women job equalization but the financial divide continue with the male making about over 30% more doing the same work. As culture has not made the strides to make an equal partnership in the workplace where the woman would have to work to support a child, she should not put herself in a position at an early age to put her future in peril with teenage pregnancy. That is why it is very important for mothers not to punish their daughters but to educate and inform them of protection that is available to protect them from the teenage pregnancy that can change their future not for the better but for the worse.
qGrahame, thank you for your comment. Children develop their personalities by the age of three. Environmental considerations as well as teachings from families, school and peers set in by the teenage years and your child in no longer in a position to adhere to a "no you can not play with this" instruction from parents. By the time a child reaches the teenage years with all of the information available to stimulate the senses, most likely, will begin to experiment. Your lesson on abstinence from sex would now be the main reason for embarking on the sexual activity as a part of being rebellious.
Children are told what to do from their waking day and throughout school. During the adolescent and teenage years as their bodies begin to mature, they realize that they are in possession of something that a person can tell them to abstain from but because it is their sexuality, they make the choice.
A mother can not be with the teenager while out on a date. Even the chaperone events are just for the social event. The drive home and the availability of a car and a driver's license gives the teenager the added freedom to not only do what they please with their bodies but have the freedom of transportation.
It is up to the girl on the way from an event to say no or to use protection if engaging in sex. At that age, teenagers are discovering their sexuality and the nearer they get to adulthood, the less propensity they have to be absolute in their adherence to the teaching of abstinence of a parent, even a very concerned mother.
At the teenage years, these kids are experimenting not only with sex but with alcohol. Although alcohol is a depressant, it does lift the sexual libido that is raging in teenagers especially if they have been told to abstain from sexual activity. Most things that are prohibited become more desirable to the teenager who has been told to abstain from sex.
That is why it is so important for the teenage girls to have with her what she needs to protect her against unprotected sex. Teenage girls are maturing into women and are looking for an object of their affections. Promises true or false about love and commitment may give them the impetus they need to follow through with "proving" their love with sexually gratifying her boyfriend.
At this point, the teachings of the school, the parent, or the clergy is of no affront to the person who may be confessing his love even though it may only be infatuation to her. The teenage girl's only recourse is to say no or to have protection available to her to protect her from an unexpectant pregnancy.
Armed with the sex education teachings of schooling and the discipline in regards to sex taught to her from her mother, it would be hoped that she would abstain from sex. As the rising teenage pregnancy rates indicates, these teachings sometimes go without use because of the passion of the moment or thinking that she has to please to prove to her boyfriend that "she loves him."
In a rainstorm of emotions it is difficult to stop the downpour. The teenage girl’s best decision is to make the choice to have sex or not to have sex. The most important thing she needs to do is have an umbrella of protection with her at all times. That umbrella of protection far removed from the sex education teachings or the caring Mom whom she may had been taught abstinence is protection again sex in the form or birth control or birth contraceptives. It is up to the teenage girl to guard herself from unwanted and unexpected teenage pregnancy with real protection when the discipline of teachings is not as effective.
It might be a tough pill to swallow for some mothers, but reality is sexual curiosity is like second nature to our young generation. Before I had kids I remember sayin I would much rather know that my child is comfortable enough to make out or have sex with their boy/girl friend at home, than sneaking around or making out in public in vehicles etc. Of course I still would like this to be but the balance here is the age - seventeen maybe not, but eighteen and up no problem. Would I punish that child - No, but I firmly believe in tough love - if after much counselling and our intimate conversation that child chooses to be sexually active, then the reality and consequences of sex will also be bourne by that child. Am Isaying I will not assist them - No i am not - but at the same time I will not become an enabler for them to loof either.
Kudos to you to take up such topic and open a forum to discuss. This hub is very direction for those are in their teenage and also for those who either have a daughter or may get one in near future.
Krenshaw, thank you for your comment. On one hand you are saying that you would provide the place as a kind of permission and then you say that you would not be enabler. Your answer is a bit ambiguous but you are provided a comment that may be helpful if parents decide to have an open dialogue with their daughter. I think that the best dialogue is prevention and that protection should be made available through a physician or family doctor. Preventative is the best medicine. Your comment is much appreciated.
Bhawna Sharma, thank you for your comment.
Remember Obama's comment on abortion at a campaign rally? "I don't want my daughter punished with a baby."
We all know where he stands...
We all need to make decisions for ourselves. I think the best option is to educate your daughter as best possible, and let her sort things out. A lot of it depends on her culture and surroundings...Who are her role models (be honest) and what are their views. What are your daughters goals and how do they relate to having sex at this age?
nicomp, thank you for your comment.
thaninja, thank you for your comment.
Concerned mothers should use your questioning tactics to open up dialogue about teenage pregnancies. Open ended questions would help the teenage to realize that goals in fact can be thwarted with an unexpected pregnancy. Great questions. The action of preventative measure discussed in the article will help stop unexpected pregancies as well. Your comment is much appreciated.
Sex has never been an issue for me.. it's all in the head and one should'nt be boast or brood about things..
Linda, a very good hub once again, although I was worried I was going to die of old age before I reached the end of the comment posts. Good for you for getting so many interested readers. Having been in Catholic school most of my childhood, I realized how unique my mother was among her peers. I knew about sex at a very young age and whatever questions I had she always answered honestly. I didn't realize how unusual this was until high school, when I started to explore my curiosities w/ girls my age. I was never terribly discreet and was caught in the act more than I care to admit. What this resulted in was that the girls I dated actually learned about sex the same way I did: from my mother. Being a Catholic school boy, most of my girlfriends' parents refused to discuss that issue at all. Now that I'm older, I'm very grateful for her because who knows where they would've learned about sex without her. I have to admit that back then I was a bit frustrated by my own mother giving my girlfriend advice on how not to give in to me . . . but now, of course, I understand completely.
Jonathan
vizey, thank you for your comment.
vizey, thank you for your comment.
Jonathan Janco, thank you for your comment. All I can say is that you have a very wise mother and you and your friends should be proud of her. Your comment is much appreciated.
Jonathan Janco, thank you for your comment. All I can say is that you have a very wise mother and you and your friends should be proud of her. Your comment is much appreciated.
- the only thing I can ask of my daughter is not to date the type of guy I was in HS - at least I know what to look for... sorry - wasn't that I was a jerk... I just didn't care about anyone - things change though - good luck to all of you
pavlovswriter, thank you for your comment.
You can not legislate morality. 17 is pretty much the average age... in fact I read that it was 16.8 years for boys and just a little longer for girls. So the real issue is when are people going to wake up and let rational education be the guide for social issues and not some personal sense of morality. Each person must choose the life they lead. It is a parents job to provide counsel and guidance. If a parent has done their job prior to an act that is disobedient to a parents wishes, then the action of the child was an educated action. Can you punish people for living their lives? Seems rather silly. I'm still waiting to meet the person that came into this world as a result of a non sexual act.
MikeNV, have you never heard of artificial insemination? I know quite a number of people who came into the world as the result of a non-sexual act.
MikeNV, thank you for your comment. Aya Katz is correct with the fact that people have come into the world as a result of non sexual acts which includes artificial inemination.
Your comment has a what ever will be tone as people will procreate in your words as young 16.8 years for boys and a little longer for girls. Irregardless of where that information came from, children are engaging in sexual activity as young as eleven years old.
There is real value in contrast to your comment to a personal sense of morality and it is up to the parents to instill this in their children at a very young age. Children are in no position to make choices and that it why the school system have to step up the game when it comes to sex education, as well.
Parents must show that they are not ignorant or oblivious to what their children are engaging in and must supply the necessary precautions such as birth control pills or condoms.
Your laissez-faire approach to teenage pregnancies would certainly cause a higher rise to the already disappropriate amount of teenage pregnancies.
Your comment and point of view, however, is greatly appreciated.
MikeNV, thank you for your comment. Aya Katz is correct with the fact that people have come into the world as a result of non sexual acts which includes artificial inemination.
Your comment has a what ever will be tone as people will procreate in your words as young 16.8 years for boys and a little longer for girls. Irregardless of where that information came from, children are engaging in sexual activity as young as eleven years old.
There is real value in contrast to your comment to a personal sense of morality and it is up to the parents to instill this in their children at a very young age. Children are in no position to make choices and that it why the school system have to step up the game when it comes to sex education, as well.
Parents must show that they are not ignorant or oblivious to what their children are engaging in and must supply the necessary precautions such as birth control pills or condoms.
Your laissez-faire approach to teenage pregnancies would certainly cause a higher rise to the already disappropriate amount of teenage pregnancies.
Your comment and point of view, however, is greatly appreciated.
Aya Katz, thank you for your comment.
Liked your thought provoking article.In my part of the world,India, teen sex was rare till about 10 years ago.But now, surveys after surveys show it's catching on like wild fire, especially in the big cities like Mumbai and Delhi.Agreed,it's a reality and one must accept it.
Harsh Sharma, thank you for your comment and all the way from India. You bring up an interesting concept and that is teenage pregnancy is an international problem and must be dealt with. Your comment is much appreciated.
Harsh Sharma, thank you for your comment and all the way from India. You bring up an interesting concept and that is teenage pregnancy is an international problem and must be dealt with. Your comment is much appreciated.
I think as a mother because i am a mom of six kids that we need to take precossions to keep our kids on the right track. I never had sex until i was twenty but i know girls that were in their teens when they had kids, if they would have had open minded parents who weren't afraid to take there children to the doctors to get them help they might not have there children now. The old statement babies having babies seems to apply to these days of our lives punishment is not the awnser the awnser is to take control be open with your children and take them to get what they need. Go to the school and help in the health class and show the children that having unprotected sex is a bad idea until you are ready to settle down.
sonya eaton, thank you for your comment. Your valuable input on the subject of teen pregnancy is much appreciated.
sonya eaton, thank you for your comment. Your valuable input on the subject of teen pregnancy is much appreciated.
rvsource says:
3 weeks ago
With all due respect to the previous commenter. Bringing the Bible into this conversation isn't the answer. Let me explain why.
The first thing a teen is going to do when you bring out the Bible, is "roll their eyes." They will not be listening and if anything it might cause them to rebel quicker.
I believe that in today's teen world, sex is going to happen at one point. I'm the father of two teens. One is 17 and the other 15. It's happened already for my 17 year old, and I found out from another source. I reacted poorly and all that did was bring us further apart. It wasn't until I thought about my days in high school and realized I did the same crap, causing me to learn from my actions.
Finally I wised up and just hugged my daughter and told her I loved her. She is going to do the things I don't want her to do, but since we talked I believe she will be careful! It's her life and she has all of the information to make a smart decision. We have to be supportive, that is the best answer in my opinion.
Jeff