Are you in denial? Plenty of us are in denial of our disease so we carry on as if nothing is wrong. Why embracing your disease is the first step to a healthy life.

I learned to be the great pretender. I pretended I was okay, that I was normal. I learned to be creative and reinvented myself with makeup and clothes when some malady altered my physical appearance. Eventually, I woke up one morning and said, "You have lupus.” Finally, I acknowledged that I am not normal, I probably never was and I will never be. What is normal anyway? I had to face the fact that I couldn't be like everybody else and sometimes it's just too much. It's stressful trying to be what you are not and it wrecks havoc on your mental state. I am a productive ambitious person whose goals seem to be hampered by something I can't control - my health.

As a young mother of two, I wanted to go to college and find a great career that I could support my family on but every time I made strides in the direction of self-sufficiency, I had to succumb to my disease. My mind craved the stress and challenges of a productive person but my body buckled under the pressure. I resented the rest of the human race for going forward without me.

I have had to embrace the fact that my reality is different from others and work with what I've been given. Once I acknowledged that I am different, things changed and I could accept my circumstances and figure out what I needed to do to make myself healthier. Acceptance was and still is a painful and frustrating process. I also see it as a blessing because I learned a lot about myself. I learned to be more patient, to slow down, to pay attention to my needs and to roll with the punches. I took a good around me and evicted anyone who was toxic. I learned to question my doctors, look for alternatives, and demand decent treatment.

Mourning your formal self is normal when you are diagnosed with a chronic disease. It is hard letting go and accepting the fact that your dreams and ambitions will have to change. Who you thought you were is not living up to current events. Most of us do not like the idea of not having control of our lives and this realization is disheartening. Depression is common under these circumstances and can result from a change in appearance or lack of energy and motivation. Depression is a mask for anger and is completely valid despite what you have been taught. It's okay to have a pity party; the key is to not party all the time.

How you treat yourself is essential to recovery. Your attitude and the way you choose to live each day will have an impact on your health. It can't be done overnight, it requires an attitude adjustment, exercise, nutrition, and self-discovery.

Get to know yourself and your disease and let others help you. If your family is not supportive enough, explain what you are going through so that they can understand your needs. Contact .org websites regarding your disease because they are non-profits and don't have an agenda. Subscribe to one of the newsletters or join a support group and stay on top of the latest developments regarding your disease. You might not have had control over getting what ails but you do have control over how well you live with it.