According to me what is a Hindu Marriage?
72Disclaimer: All the views expressed here are based on my personal understanding and by no means an exhaustive study of Hindu marriages.
Recently I have been to some sites like ambedkar.org which have been primarily written to show woman's role in Hindu community in a very poor light. Although I admire B.R. Ambedkar for his great service to the nation but some of his followers tend to deride anything to do with Hindu religion as a bad thing.
According to Hindu religious texts there are four stages in life:
1) Brahmacharya: Student life
2) Grihastha: Household life
3) Vanaprastha: Retired life
4) Sanyasa: Renounced life
Now the Grihastha(house holder) stage is the one where marriage takes place.
Hindu marriage is valid legal relationship between a man (at least 21 years) and a woman (at least 18 years) meeting other conditions for valid marriage.
Now coming to the purpose of a Hindu marriage. It is said that there are four purposes I.e., Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha
According to Hindu religious texts marriage is an act to fulfil Dharma (righteous duty), Arth (acquiring material wealth to fulfill household duties), Kama (satisfying righteaous desires) and Moksha (achieving liberation or salvation). Both husband and wife are equal partners who have the responsibility to uphold the values and pass it on to the next generation before commencing on to the final journey.
Ok after that brief introduction I will touch up on the present state based on my experiences. Today we are seeing many changes both within and outside our communities. In earlier days divorce was a unheard thing and in fact the first time I saw in Santa Barbara the main person having 2 ex-wives before the present wife I was really surprised. Which I thought just a decade back was something I will never hear in our society.
But today out of the millions of marriages a few thousand do end up in courts for divorce and since my mother is a lawyer she does get upset about it. Although in absolute numbers it would still be a very minor percentage but still I agree some minor changes are happening. But then is the change big enough to conclude that the whole society has irrevocably changed I personally don't think so. Marriage is still very sacred and I personally have never met anybody in both my relatives or friends circle who are divorced. But as I said earlier my mother being a lawyer she does encounter them in family courts. Well then it is similar to a doctor going to a hospital and seeing so many patients concluding that the whole country is unhealthy. Which wouldn't be a valid conclusion to draw upon.
Now I was able to pursue my education and many girls who came to the US like me have also had supportive parents. As for me I was always a good student and never caused much cause of concern to my parents hence they were confident that the freedom given to me wouldn't be misused in anyway. If I or my brother were involved in any alcohol/drugs or fights would they have trusted us similarly I doubt it. Parents want to protect their kids and even if the kids think at that time they are interfering with their fun the parents have their kids best interests at heart. Kids especially during late teens and early twenties want to have fun without realizing the aftermath. Fun and happiness are two separate entities. Fun lasts for that moment but later may cause pain and guilty conscience. Whereas happiness is something that one feels good about and never regrets it even for a moment. Parents realize that and tend to caution but sometimes they tend to fall on deaf ears.
Now why did I bring that whole paragraph about myself in the hub titled about marriage. Well marriage is a relationship which is a very serious decision for a life time. If one has some scars from previous relationships which some may overcome and others don't then it tends to even affect the marital relationship.
Just like extra marital is breaking the bond of trust between the spouses. Pre marital for me would be breaking the bond of trust between the parents and the child. I may not have much fun but I do believe in involving in positive karma (action) which would ultimately lead to better married life(Hopefully!!).
Now their is a very important custom of Kanyadan (which is that a girl has to be a maiden) performed by the girl's father. After this ceremony the girl crosses over to the gotra of the husband (this is irrevocable). Even Divorce wasn't part of the Hindu religion until the HIndu Marriage Act, 1955 included it.
As for a boy also at the time of marriage their is custome called kasi yatra (performed by the girls brother/relative) where the boy is asked not to proceed to kasi(religious place) for performing austerities and shed his brahmacharyam(celibacy) since the girl's side are willing to give him a girl to marry. Hence it is not a moral code for just men or women but for both.
Now recently my parents had come to US and my mom was so concerned that I do all the tasks myself like laundry, cooking, vacuum and so on. And I never realized that and I always felt I was living a great life until she told me. Then I was asking my cousin about her life; she is a Doctor in India who has a small 3 year old girl, very supportive husband and a friendly mother in law. She has one driver, one full time domestic helper to help her. Well I don't know if I will ever have that kind of lifestyle here. But yes different countries have different advantages. Like in India it happens when sometimes we have too many relatives and an extended family that can be a bit too intimadating. But then one can't have everything in life and one has to know which are the important priorities then adjust for the rest of them.
Hindu marriages are changing today many husbands like my cousins in India are supportive of their wives and here also in US many husbands help their wives with many domestic chores. Woman's role has changed from being just sustainers of the family to also being able to provide the second income which is needed into the household to afford the better life style that is desired these days.
Hindu marriage has stood the test of time and hopefully it will last a long long time even after I depart this body.
Will Hindu marriages survive the pressures from present generations?
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Comments
CW: Such perfect timing; I was considering making a request about Hindu arranged marriages as I wanted to understand what's behind this tradition.
I like your comments, " fun lasts for that moment but later may cause pain and guilty conscience. Whereas happiness is something that one feels good about and never regrets it even for a moment." It means taking responsibility for oneself. Not that we can't have fun, even if its fleeting, but not if its harmful down the road.
Thanks for giving me a peek into your culture, very intriguing.
SweetiePie- There are good people everywhere and not so good also are their. But those guys who are not serious then those people need to be avoided from the beginning. Their are many good guys too and one has to keep the eyes open for them. Having a good online profile may help and they have good matching services these days. Don't give up and their are many good guys who are also seeking good girls like you.
Violet- Maybe I will write a specific hub about arranged marriage. Not all marriages are arranged and also regarding guilty conscience I feel it is up to the individual to foresee all consequences hence personally it is better to err on the side of caution. And this is small microcosm of the wide gamut of Hindu marriages and hence not a comprehensive study by any stretch.
I tried the online dating thing and it never really worked honestly. There were some nice guys on it, but it is just nothing that ever materialized. The one guy who turned out not to want a relationship with me is a person, so I will be his friend and talk to him on email, but that is it and I think he realized that now. It is hard to know if someone is serious about a relationship in American dating, and usually I have to ask to find out. When they tell me no then I scratch them off my list, like I did with that guy last year. Every few months he send me messages and usually gets it out of his system when I tell him I do not plan to meet him. For me the only way I will meet someone is if it happens naturally in real life. That is what I have always wanted and if it is meant to be it will be, if not it will not happen.
SweetiePie- I didn't know that you already tried that route. You are so broad minded and open to other cultures. I am sure you will find someone wondeful soon. Yes it will happen and meanwhile enjoy life being single. At least their is no pressure from any side to get married soon till you find the right guy. It is more important to marry the right person rather than at the so called "right time".
Hi CW, This is a fascinating Hub, but can you explain more clearly this section of it?
"Now their is a very important custom of Kanyadan (which is that a girl has to be a maiden) performed by the girl's father. After this ceremony the girl crosses over to the gotra of the husband (this is irrevocable). Even Divorce wasn't part of the Hindu religion until the HIndu Marriage Act, 1955 included it.
As for a boy also at the time of marriage their is custome called kasi yatra (performed by the girls brother/relative) where the boy is asked not to proceed to kasi(religious place) for performing austerities and shed his brahmacharyam(celibacy) since the girl's side are willing to give him a girl to marry. Hence it is not a moral code for just men or women but for both. "
It sounds quite physically intrusive and personal, but I may be understanding it wrong. I would like to know as I am fascinated by your culture and tend to think that we could all learn a lot form your attitudes to marriage.
You can always email me with the answer if it is awkward to post here.
Misty- Well it implies no pre marital physical relationships. This includes even for engaged couple until they are married to involve in that kind of relationship. Yes it is not something one can understand unless one grows up in that culture and those are certain customs which have certain background involving Vedic texts. But again sometimes their is difference between idealistic situation and realistic situation.
Hi CW, I kind of understood the implication of 'no pre marital physical relationships, it was the determining of it by your male parent I found hard to grasp, plus I really didn't understand the "As for a boy also at the time of marriage their is custome called kasi yatra (performed by the girls brother/relative) where the boy is asked not to proceed to kasi(religious place) for performing austerities and shed his brahmacharyam(celibacy) since the girl's side are willing to give him a girl to marry. Hence it is not a moral code for just men or women but for both. " and how that would work.
Kanya (maiden) Dan (giving) which is the girls father giving her hand in marriage to the boy in the presence of fire as a witness that's all.
As for the boy also it depends on his upbringing he also may value the sanctity of marriage hence avoid physical relationships as far as possible. As I said it earlier it depends totally on the individual too.
So essentially it is all done on a trust basis, am I right? In other words there is no actual proof that either the man or the woman are 'virgins' although that is the ideal situation?
Oh yeah it is totally on a trust basis. Oh God what else were you thinking?
countrywomen,
That actually is my ideal is to marry someone from a different culture than myself when I do get married. I am a mixed ethnicity person and went to a very diverse college, so I am attracted to many different cultures.
Oh, that could be many things CW-girl. You never know what other cultures deem acceptable and what not. :)
Just to give you an example - in old Russia they had to hang out bed sheets to the street the very next day after wedding, so everybody could see the blood on them...
SP- It requires a lot of understanding and adjustment from both partners. But I can see you would be open minded and absorb anything. Btw would you like to enlist in some Indian matrimonial sites? I can give a few sites if you are interested.
countrywomen,
I have a really good idea, not sure if you are interested, but just a suggestion. I have started writing how to articles on ehow, which is a great way to get a good back link to your hubs, which you can list as other resources. Maybe over as ehow you could write a how to on traditional Hindu marriages, and then list this hub as an additional resource for further reading.
My grandpa is Arab and my grandma is European. My other great-grandma was Native American, so I am pretty mixed already lol. The sites sound interesting, sure I will look.
LOL CW, sorry, I just misread what you said earlier, and assumed in my naive way that your father had to 'examine' you and confirm you were a virgin, and that your male relative had to somehow do the same to your future Husband!! Sounds crazy now you have cleared it up :)
Misha- I guess you are right and what is acceptable would be considered as grouse in other cultures. I was just mentioning about the traditional hindu society to which my family belongs.
Sweetiepie: Since you are so open minded, you will attract the right man. I met mine online in a spiritual forum, and I believe Pam (Pgrundy) also met hers online. Funny thing is neither Phil or I were looking for a relationship. I figured after ending a horrible 7 year relationship with the ex I wanted to be alone, and Phil also had ended his and also wanted to be alone, LOL! We started talking as good pals, and before we knew it, we fell in love with each other's spirit; we didn't even know what the other looked like at first. We then exchanged pictures and more details and now we are together.
Misha: I have heard of the old custom, I believe other cultures do so too (can't remember which). I would be embarassed to venture out. hehe.
Misty- You had to say it didn't you...hehe. I was almost about to deny it and send you an email but then decided against it since it came from my elder sister.
SweetiePie- I will send an email with those details. No wonder you have such an open and broad minded attitude since you have such a diverse background. So you do have multiple traditions at home then. Some Arab, Native American and even European that would be so cool. I will consider ehow and see it. I am already too addicted to hub pages not sure if I can handle another addictions.
LOL, sorry about that CW, but you know me, I just open my mouth and what is on my mind comes out!!!! :)
Violet- Yes even I feel that sweetiepie would get a wonderful man since she is such a great person. I am sure that somewhere someone is meant for all of us. We just should never give up and be open. Oh yeah about that tradition Misha mentioned is way too embarassing to even contemplate.
Ahh, but what is really scary is that if you spent time horseriding prior to marriage, you may not 'produce any evidence' on those sheets to be hung out for all to see. Imagine trying to convince your in-laws that the only reason no blood was apparent was that you were an avid horserider, yet it is true.
Interesting Hub. always great to learn about other cultures.
Misty- No problem sister. I will never mind anything you ever say. I just hope it doesn't freak out anyone...hehe.
Thanks CW, I just have a very enquiring mind, and am not always very subtle about asking, (as you may have noticed by now) :) :)
Misty- That is true as many sports and hobbies like horse riding do affect and it is not a must that absence of a visible proof indicates someone to have had a pre marital physical relationship.
Sixtyorso- Thanks for stopping by and commenting. This is just a brief glimpse of a hindu culture in southern india.
Misty- I have to hand it to you that you do have a very curious imaginative mind. Oh God can I help not noticing it by now even if I want to...LOL
Our family traditions were mostly in making traditional Arab dishes my great-grandma used to make for my dad. The European and Native American sides of the family had pretty much assimilated into American culture, so there were no truly special traditions we had in our family. Of course we did the traditional Euro-American type things, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but not many things really. I think that is one reason I am very fascinating by cultures where people still have many traditions.
Thanks for your encouragement Violet :).
Golly, just realised the time, 07.32 am here. Really have to go to bed as it is my big Sister's Birthday today. Will catch up with you tomorrow evening everyone :)
SP- You should write a hub about those traditional Arab dishes. It can be good to have a culture which one can pass on but at the same time if it makes a person closed to appreciating other cultures than that is not good. But whereas if one is having diverse background like you then that person could be very open to so many cultures. I myself have been sometimes not so open minded about other cultures.
Misty- Good night and sweet dreams sister. Please pass on my birthday wishes to your sister.
I wish her a very happy birthday. May God bless her with Health, Wealth and Happiness this year and years to come
http://webpages.charter.net/trussell/pictures/Happ
Click below to hear my birthday song and just pretend Iam singing for her
Thanks CW, I shall send her the link to this hub so she can see for herself. Goodnight :) :) :)
Thank you so much. I hope you all have a great time. Now go and take your beauty sleep sister. You need to have that glowing look and not the sleepy look at the party. Bye till we meet again.
Sweetipie: My brother in law who is Arab made delicious Arab dishes, that neither sis or I can duplicate, we could imitate, but not make it the way he does them. I took an Arab dish with ground beef and potatoes on top, and adjusted it to have a Latin flavor, and my American Phil loves it. Maybe I will share the recipe one of these days.
WOW!! You guys have something in common and hope you could exchange those recipes. Even I would be interested in vegetarian recipes. I once had Ehtiopian dish called Injera a sort of bread and I simply loved it. Food does have a language of its own. No wonder the way to the heart goes through the stomach.
Very interesting. I love to learn about other cultures, thank you.
Netters- This is small microcosmic glimpse of my Hindu background from southern part of India. Each Hindu marriage has similarities but not exactly the same. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
It is interesting that all women responded to your post. It sounds like the Hindu way of life is changing just like the rest of the world. It use to be the man went to work and the woman stayed home and took care of the house and children. Now both parents work becaues most of the time that is the only way they can survive. The family has suffered because of this. I not saying that women should not work just that there ability to nuture children is lost because they are out of the home more. I don't beleive that men are as good at that job.
Robert- I guess more women were touched by this article then men..hehe. Well to provide for a family both the parents have equal responsibility. Day by day the cost of housing, health and education (both for self and the children) is going up. It is just practical that women are also contributing. Besides that women who are educated/talented also need to have a fulfilling life which they may feel lacking sitting at home. Yes I do agree that it becomes tougher for women to manage on multiple fronts but their are many men who do understand and try to support their spouses in this regard. I just hope kids don't feel neglected and get quality time with parents since all the earning is of no use if our kids don't grow up to be responsible adults later in life. I agree it is tough but it can be done. I just hope men understand the challenges and also contribute accordingly to make it all work. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
countrywomen,
You are a very tolerant and open minded person to many cultures, I just wanted to let you know that. Only a very open minded person could discuss their traditions in the way you do, and then have a very open mind to where other people are coming from.
Violet Sun,
The dishes we made the most were lentil ones, kibee, and baba ganoush, so I would love to know more at the recipe your in-laws make. It would make an interesting hub.
SweetiePie- Thanks for considering me open minded. I just hope I always keep evaluating myself so that I can understand other views/opinions. It would be great if you guys do write a hub about different ethnic cuisines. I was a little apprehensive about finding vegetarian food in a Ethiopian restaurant but was pleasantly surprised by the number of vegetarian recipes that they have. Have you guys tried Ethiopian food? I had a Bulgarian friend while doing MS and she gave a me a wonderful recipe for baklava which I have never tried at home. I will try that and if it comes out well then write a hub about it.
CW
We are mostly vegetarian at home although I do cook fish once or twice a week. We have a favourite restaurant in Brighton called Bombay Aloo which only serves vegetarian dishes.
I mentioned to you before that I have several friends from Indian families, and it is now becoming increasingly common to see mixed English and Indian marriages. I have two close friends in such relationships, and they are both very happy with their partners.
Amanda- Once I was traveling by British Airways and the gentleman besides me loved curry and tandoori. I was surprised by his awareness of those terms and he told me their wouldn't be a street in London where Indian Restaurant isn't present. I was pleasantly surprised by the statement. Btw the first meat I ate was a fish cutlet which although I liked it gave me a slight guilty conscience since I didn't tell my parents about it then. It is just that I was brought up in a vegetarian family but I have nothing against those who like meat and even included hubs about meat items which more people may be interested in.
Actually I have met one couple where the boy is Indian and the girl American. Their daughter wore such a cute Indian dress and even the mother came in Sari to the temple. Sometimes looking at them I feel when some people in India want to look at the western civilization here the American woman is enamored by Yoga/Meditation. A true east meets west. I guess it is the meeting of the minds more than just having similar culture that makes the most difference to a successful marriage.
Hindu marriage is more about everlasting bliss than about momentary pleasure.
Sharma- Yes marriage is a long term/life time commitment in all religions. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Fun lasts for that moment but later may cause pain and guilty conscience. Whereas happiness is something that one feels good about and never regrets it even for a moment." Great quote, I would love to use it in my quotes blog. I hope Hindu Marriage survives but with Western influence pouring in will it survive, I hope it does. It teaches us a lot not only during the ceremonies but after the marriage is over of how to work together as one. I am sure your marriage will be a great one. Later post the photos in Hubpages and video also. Cheers :)
Sure go ahead. It is a honor if a few lines of mine you like so much. Well any marriage is about adjustments and expectations. Hindu marriage is also adjusting to the changing scenario and will survive as long as both the partners are willing to cooperate with each other. Times change and we should change for the better along with the times. So far in my life men have been nice to me hence I am hopeful that my life partner would also be a nice man who would cooperate with me. From my side I would do my best to raise a happy family.
Well I wouldn't post those photos in a public forum but I would certainly be emailing to a few friends with whom I want to share those moments. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Used to be always true here...but too many influences have changed everything...Like the lack of Faith in a God...and I agree that here in the Western world may be difficult to maintain...not that one shouldn't try...However if you live here it is for a reason...and I cannot imagine a man being chosen for me...or did I get that wrong?
My children have all married their mates from another country...that came here to live....one from Germany, one from Belguim and one from Mexico...and then My oldest granddaughter has married a man from Poland...each having their own pre-marital rules... The world is a big place...getting smaller all the time so we are very mixed in what is to be and what should be...
Am here CW late...but still here...God Bless and thanks for the information...G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace
It would be nice if more people put such honor and commitment to marriage, instead of treating it like its a room-mate with benefits situation to cover financial expenses. Thanks for sharing information on what is a Hindu Marriage.
G-Ma, I have an American colleague and once during discussion she told me that their is something called purity pact between parents and child even in US. Well arranged marriages are somewhat similar to dating on your concept let me elaborate: When we browse so many profiles online(get matched) and initiate communication or introduced by family/friends that is considered a form of dating. In arranged marriage the family looks at similar backgrounds (food habits(I.e., since I am vegetarian), culture (similar), religion and language) then family particulars, then horoscope matching (this is optional) after that the couple just meets each other face to face without any obligation to get engaged or married. It is sort of like screening by wise elders. Hope you get the idea. Thanks for stopping by and blessing me with your comment love.
ResearchAnalyst- Well their are good marriages and bad marriages in every culture. Hindu marriages are no exception and their would be a few marriages which aren't so good even among Hindus. Glad you could stop by and comment.
I see...well that sounds like a nice way to do it...but then again you can do it too right??? I mean if you would want too? or it it all up to the elders...and are they here or home??G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace
G-Ma,
Yes even that is possible. The only thing is once one breaks the system(unless the personal choice is similar to what the parents would have chosen) then the next generation usually has lesser choice and they also will have to look for themselves.
My parents are in India and we have lots of Indians working here in US now. Thanks for your continued hub love.
hai am rag ur spciel
Rageshmy- Glad to meet you. Thanks for those nice words and commenting. Have a good day.
HI countrywomen, I have a friend who is half hindu and half filipina. She used to share about some of the Hindu customs they had in their house which intrigued me a lot. She is now married to a Filipino but it was rather against the wishes of her Hindu father. I am curious, do the Hindu fathers prefer for their children to marry persons of the same race? I am half chinese and half filipino myself. I also had to struggle with this because my parents prefer me to marry someone chinese also.
another good and informative hub from a expert writer
Ripplemaker- I am not sure if the parents themselves are of mixed races then how they expect their kids still to choose a particular race. But in general yes the Hindu parents expect the boy to be from the same race. Once they marry some one outside then the next generation has to look out for themselves as those kids aren't considered by many for marital alliances. I guess I am just stating an opinion which I tend to generalize sometimes(which is bad on my part). Anyway hope things are working out for you and glad you could comment.
Lgali- Thanks for finding this hub informative and complimenting me about my writing. It is because of encouragement from readers like you that I am able to write. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Have a great day.
I understand. I think for the most part it is like that. Thanks for sharing your opinion. It is nice to get insights though. Things are okay with me. I have to prepare now for work. Take care...
Fascinating article! I was brought up in a place that was not very diverse, so I've been filling in the holes in my knowledge of other cultures bit by bit. Thanks for the thoughtful insights. :-)
Ripplemaker- I hope you don't face any issues because of the parental wishes. In my case I feel I don't want to put my parents through any tough moments. Hope you are having a great day at work. I have to compile the list of movies and send an email with the links which is still a pending item on my To Do list. Ok then take care. Palam.
AllyChevalier- Well again it is from my perspective and doesn't represent the whole of the country as such. Things are slowly evolving even in India and let's see which direction it is taking in the future. Glad I could provide some insights based on my close family members and friends circle. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
You know, I think about how the sexual dynamic plays into the traditional structure. Do you think that by mandating celibacy that it puts pressure on infidelity or relieves pressure from it? Do younger generations feel more free to express themselves sexually if they are not given the bounds of fidelity found in traditional practice?
Interesting article!
CW, this is a great hub. I found it very interesting.
LegendaryN8- I don't know if celibacy has any effect on infidelity. But I guess that the belief in having a physical relationship only with the spouse does exist in traditional structures. There are many things which younger people resent and some may be open about their displeasure while others accept it. As many people are there so many societies exist and each society has certain advantages/lessons for others. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Cherish77- I am glad you liked this hub and found it interesting. This hub is just a small microcosm of the vast majority of Hindu marriages and hence not a comprehensive treatise on this subject. Glad you could stop by to comment.
Hi countrywomen,
I am glad you wrote this hub. I've always wonder why the people in India has so much wisdom. I've learned the word self-mastery from reading a book from an Indian author.
I admire the way Hindis look at marriage. I think there is not much left in the world with the same belief that can make a marriage last.
Sheena- This article is totally my personal take on this issue and by no means an exhaustive study which I have even mentioned in the disclaimer. Their have been great people born in all races and cultures. I learned Pranic Healing in India and the main master was from Philippines(his name is Choa Kok Sui). Wisdom isn't something that is a personal asset of one particular nation or culture but it is available everywhere.
And also mostly in my family circle/close friends we have arranged marriages. One of my cousin had a love marriage which is also equally a happy marriage. And again there have been failures even in arranged marriages even among Hindus. Hence ultimately it is up to the couple to love, respect and understand each other which makes for a long happy married life. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Fascinating & remarkable, will wait more from you :-)
Abeerer- Glad you liked my personal take about Hindu marriage. I am not sure if you are seeking any specific answers or just wishing for me to write a sequel. Anyway thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I have a great job in hand but still have to follow Brahmacharya... LOL
Guidebaba- You are free to practice whatever you feel ok about based on your upbringing. But if you do practice it then congratulations and hopefully you will have greater happiness in married life...hehe
Yes I have heard marriage brings happiness to some of the lucky ones. At the same time I have also witnessed MISERY in marriage. I am planning to get married this year sometime and let me see what I have in mt share - Happiness or Misery.
Do you believe in Karma? Anyway I wish for you to have a long happy married life. Thanks for stopping by again. Have a good day(if you aren't having a good day so far than treat yourself to a Rasogulla) :-)
Countrywomen, I am very much concerned to learn about different nations and their customs. These facts helps us to understand people & their thinking :-).
I myself vote for arrange marriage my assumption its 85% long-lasting then love marriage.:-)
Abeerer- Actually my views about marriage are that both the partners need to love, respect and cooperate with each other to make it a long happy married life. Now different societies have different ways or traditions. Some may work in certain societies and others may work in other societies. No one society has the absolute best in it and there are good/bad marriages in all societies. Hence whether arranged or love it doesn't matter as long as there are realistic expectations/adjustments made then those marriage last forever(although I am not sure about that statistical figure of 85% being accurate or not). Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Again this is my opinion that love after marriage is the constructive for both parties but love before marriage is mostly ruining :-(
Abeerer- Although I personally prefer arranged but I still feel no one system is perfect. It depends on the couple and how they work it out. That statement of yours may not be valid all the time hence let us agree that once married then within the marriage there should be love and whether it is through arranged/love it doesn't matter. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Completely agreed. "Love" is element of life.
Thanks for completely agreeing with me. Yes, Love is everything. Have a great day.
what an excellant narration about Hindu marriage. It is really interesting to enjoy Hindu Marriages. Especially Kasi Yathra,Nalangu,Kanyadhan,Paligai and so on has very good signifcance in life. You are right all the husbands (very few are now learning to) assist their spouce. Girls also support their husbands. They drive cars.They assist in the office work. Indian Hindu marraiges are lively.Very good.
Easetravels- I am glad you like this narration. I hope more husbands take equal responsibility especially if the wife is also working outside to reduce the strain on woman. Because in today's times when one is in the earning years have to save enough for their kids education, marriage and retirement years hence it is of great help when both the partners are working. What is life if there is no challenge in it? Btw did you get to plan a tour of all the Jyotirlingas as you were mentioning earlier about it. Thanks for stopping by again. Btw belated Happy Pongal. Bye take care.
Hi,manytimes its difficult to deliver what we want to...........however your positive experssions had come to deliverance........Its high time for hindus to come closer and read your ideas....
Hello CW ji,
Hope my this mail finds you in good health..
I am here on your hub from last 1/2 hr... and found many good things are written in good way too...
You know, if i wouldn't have here - where i am now, i would have become great writer in my life...
You have so many reasons to become good writer, but just need to bit stick to the point (subject) you are talking about...
But i understand - you love writting in friendly way too - so take my suggestion easy to yourself...
Anyway - iliked to read all your good informations and the personal sharings with us here...
But being an Hindu" i am not surprised for the information you provided, but i am very glad to see you writting abt the truth and the traditions of our cultures...
Love you and god bless you too -
Satyendra Sharma
Kuwait
Glad to see your excellent understanding of the Hindu marriage and the social/ spiritual significance of it. Kindly visit my hub on the related subject:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-learn-successful-ma
I have given a link to your article there.
CVR
SweetiePie says:
11 months ago
Today I was thinking you know getting married would not be so horrible, but I would have to find the exceptional person to do so. Sometimes I think it is nice how in your culture people are introduced through parents and there is still a respect for marriage. Mostly I do not date anymore because none of the men I meet seem interested in getting married. There is one guy who keeps asking me to hang out with him again, but I refuse to because a year ago he said he did not want to have a relationship with me. So we can be friends and email, but I am done with these half baked relationships in my life. I truly admire how in your culture marriage still means something and has value.