For some couples, having a child the old fashioned way may not be possible, even though the want and hope of raising a child may be a constant. For these couples, adoption is a great way to connect a child to a family to fulfill the emotional needs of both sides. The sad fact in these cases is that many times a couple will wait years on waiting lists for a newborn or young baby, when there are hundreds of pre-teens and teenagers waiting for a family to take them in.

Adopting a child involves a long legal process which you can find out more about at the links below:

Every adoptee has a different story, though many of them share certain traumas and woes. These troubles are compounded by the onset of puberty, causing havok on the emotions and confidence of teenage adoptees. Without the benefit of a warm, loving home, these teens often turn to sex, drugs and self-harm as ways to counter the grips of despair and hopelessness.

While there are plenty of teenagers who are brought into the adoption system and get lucky enough to be taken in by a foster home, many of these will move from foster home to foster home before they finally find a family, or turn 18.

There are many varieties of statistics out claiming a relationship between a lack of settled home life and violent crime committed by individuals who were bounced from home to home, and I'm inclined to believe that the absence of a normal childhood, the upheaval of feeling thrown away and the inconsistancy of loving parenting can contribute to these statistics, another cause is pointed not at the teenagers themselves, but at the long lists of individuals who refuse to adopt older children.

The fact is: all children in the adoption system should be given equal consideration for a place in your heart and home.

Being a teenager in the adoption system is difficult. As if being a teenager wasn't hard enough, add to this emotional time the lack of connection to a real family scenario, self-blame and remorse, and you have a recipe for disaster. By making the choice to provide a teenager with a stable, happy home you are possibly saving a life, as well as reaching out to a person in need. The teenage years are a time requiring patience, support and love, and these are all things adoption can provide to these teens. However, there are certain behaviors to watch for, including:

• Hoarding - a practice where the adopted child creates a stash. This stash can consist of nearly anything you give them, ranging from toys to clothing to even food. This is a natural behavior among adopted children, a psychological way to accomodate the losses and lean times in their lives.
• Self-harm - This can come in the form of cutting, burning or bruising themselves. The reasons for this type of behavior are numerous, and should be addressed by a professional as soon as possible.
• Sexual activity/drug use - These are rebellion behaviors, an attempt by the teenager to take control of an otherwise helpless situation. Because the teenager cannot force a happy and loving home, but they want this love, they substitute these feelings with potentially deadly or damaging personal risks.

Raising a child can be a harrowing experience full of sleepless nights and huge debts. By adopting a teenager, you have the opportunity to provide love to a group of adoptees who need it every bit as badly as the younger children. You are given the unique love of a near-adult who will remember the kindness and dedication of your raising for the rest of their lives.

You can talk to a teenager about their issues without any guesswork. They understand precisely what is expected out of them, and can convey their own thoughts, hopes and dreams to you clearly.

The admiration and appreciation an adopted teenager gives their adoptive parents knows no bounds, and often strong bonds form between adopter and adoptee through the challenges faced and overcome.

Adoption is love.