I grew up in a very unusual home for the 60's, and that is saying something considering that the 60's was the beginning of anything goes. My mother was a stay home mum and dad was a flight engineer for a major airline and was away all the time. My Mum couldn't drive, which was fairly normal for that era in Australia. The main difference between our family and all the others I knew was

a) My mum was an alcoholic suffering from prescription drug induced Schizophrenia.

b) I was an only child (I had a 1/2 brother from my mums first marriage but I wasn't aware of him until I was 21).

c) When my dad was 'home' he spent most of his time at the pub.

d) Apart from close family, we had no visitors ever - no friends. My dad had his pub friends, who were never invited to our place and mum had no visible friends for the first 12 years of my life.

So I guess this is a fairly extreme example of being an only child. Growing up in this household was a very lonely affair. I often longed for a brother or sister to share my days with. Especially the bad days. For me there was only myself for company - I wasn't even allowed to have a dog because we lived in a flat. Of course I did have a couple of local kids to play with - sometimes, when they were allowed to play with me. Often they were not allowed, as I only figured out later, my parents used to fight a lot, scream and throw things - and of course the neighbours heard it and decided I was 'undesirable' to play with.

So mainly it was just me, myself and I for company. I developed a huge imagination, self sufficiency, read alot, enjoyed my natural environment (insects, snails, birds - anything breathing made a good friend!) and became a very strong human being for the experience. I was a 'dreamer' and considered anything possible as there was no one to tell me otherwise. Funnily enough, my self esteem was strong also. I knew I could survive anything and I didn't need anyone else.

.I 'kidnapped' neighbours' dogs, threw mud pies at the kids who couldn't play with me (this only added to their parents resolve), ran wild all over the neighbourhood and enjoyed total freedom to be who I was.

I guess the best thing that came out of this lonely childhood was my love of and affinity for animals. I learned very early that animals are more trustworthy than people. And they didn't judge me. Dogs in particular became my obsession and I suppose not being allowed to have one until I was 13, made this my all consuming passion. I truly believed that a dog would solve all my problems, and in truth looking back, it probably would have solved some.

My obsession with dogs lead to my obsession with fences and houses (because we lived in a flat that didn't allow dogs until I was 13). To this day, real estate is a passion for me - and my houses always have great fences for dogs. My tenants are all allowed pets.

When I was 12 we moved to a new area (still a flat) and my mother gave up drinking, got a job and made some friends. Because she wasn't drinking, her mental illness went into some kind of remission - or at least she was symptom free for many years. This was the end of loneliness for me as I was surrounded with friends, all within walking distance, who had no idea of the 'undesirable' family we used to be. I re-invented myself.

By this time I was soooo glad I was an only child. MONEY, my new discovery, was mine and all mine. My parents had plenty of it and shared it with me freely. I didn't have to share or consider any siblings. I could go to the best camps, schools, holidays etc with my friends. I always had money for outings, clothes, makeup and all other essential girly things. I was in heaven.

So I guess if you read between the lines, the advantages and disadvantages of being an only child are obvious.

I made a vow to myself when I was very, very young - probably about 3 years old. I said to myself and God, "When I grow up I want lots of children so I will never be alone again."

God listened and gave me 4 beautiful children and 2 step children. My children grew up in a non-drinking, no drug environment. We gave them full time attention (worked from home) until the youngest was 10. We gave them a farm full of animals and of course lots of dogs. They had a big old farm house with great fences. We had Easter egg hunts, birthday parties and a huge Christmas tree every year. They were never alone. They had lots of friends and so did we. And there were ponies, camping trips and family weekends away. They all had an idyllic childhood. But not much money. We put them all through private school (except the baby - her choice) so we didn't have spare money really.

They have all turned out quite well. We have a truck driver, an electrical engineering student, an apprentice carpenter, an apprentice chef, a waitress (her gap year) and still one in high school.  None of them have the strong faith in God as I did. None of them are as emotionaly strong as I was - they are all a bit 'soft' - not really survivors. But they didn't have to be. Only one (the baby - now 14) of them is happy with their own company - they always have to be with friends/doing something or they are 'bored'.None of them have a great imagination - they didn't need one, they had the real stuff. 

Deep down, I stll wish I had grown up with an older sibling. Someone to share my load. But I am happy with the person I became and I would have been different if I had not been an only child. I wouldn't change my past. I changed my future.