OK... now, you say you keep having the same fights...
Same fights, same people, right??!

What is the chance that ONE of you is ALWAYS the problem??
Not much chance!
Let's see!!

If one of you would always be the problem, than one of you would have already done something about it, and you would have not been together anymore, right?! That happens all the time.

But the reason you are still together could be that while each one of you thinks the other has a problem, you keep bumping into each other regardless. While you don't like what you get, you keep around long enough to get a chance at getting back at him/her. In other words, you like the situation because you need it!!! And your partner puts up with you for the same reason.

SO, now... if both of you have a problem, does that make you feel better or worse? Can you leave with it??

See, the problem is not that you have fights, but that you yourself have a problem that needs to be resolved, and which your partner can not fix; the same thing may be the case with your partner. You can not fix him/her!!!!!!!!!!
Don't even try it, that makes it worse!!!

You either tolerate--keep having fights, realising that that is your personal condition--or change.

Change would be another subject, though!

Thing is... if you don't want to change you never will.
One the other side, if you really want to change... than change has already begun... it's just that it takes a variable amount of time and energy for it to happen. You know... physics!!!!

Take care!!!