Well here we are pregnant, and no one at home with whom to share all that roundness. In truth, everyone needs someone to be there during the interminable nine month journey and if that won't be happening, the first idea might seem logical to go out and find someone who will fill the bill as daddy and date material all in one.

Can I say what a dreadful idea this is?

Being pregnant means that two somebodies got together and made a baby. If one of those people decided to high tail it out of town that leaves the other somebody in a state of abandonment. This adds a whole layer of sorrow on a difficult situation. Ahead in the coming months will be physical changes, hormonal upheavals and mental readjustment.

At the end, some kindly nurse will pop a newborn into your arms and you will now be expected to care for yourself and this scrap of wailing, always hungry and usually damp humanity. You have to take it home with you and figure out how you can work your own life into the demands now put upon you - no small task. Ideally, you should do this with baby's daddy around to help, but whether that happens or not, it's all going to be done under the most appalling sleep deprivation.

This is really a time of fearsome adjustments for everyone, and even the most committed of couples are snappish and exhausted. Sexually, you aren't the hottest girl on the planet until your lapsed belly decides to shrink up; your uterus is trying to decide where it belongs, and your breasts have odd purple road maps etched on them. It's hard enough to have an infant tugging on them without anyone else wanting to squeeze them as well. Did we mention how wide your backside became trying to carry this baby for nine months?

Alright, in truth, the gruesome postnatal look does go away if you work at it, but you don't feel sexy, and if given a choice between a hot time on the bed springs and a decent night's sleep, there wouldn't even be a contest.

And into this you would want to introduce a new relationship?

Finding a man who thinks your pregnancy isn't anything but scary for him could be problematic - something about a third party might be the thought here. Most men like to till the garden and plant their own seeds. If this guy is going to stick around, you'd have to ask him, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much he'd enjoy raising another man's child. And the object of a relationship does seem to be someone who will stay by you for a very long time, maybe until death parts you.

Truthfully, the cart is before the horse at this point; so instead of trying to find someone as a stand-in, let the next few months be about you and your soon-to-be-delivered baby. Get your plans together to take care of yourself and of your sweet offspring. Be kind to your own emotions and don't try to shove them down or divert them with a new love interest. Analyze why you are here without spousal support. Could you have made other choices?

When you find yourself on even keel and solid financial footing for yourself and your child, decide what it is that you want and what you need to do to be the sort of woman/mother who can get it. Then your discrimination will kick in and the right man will be there to love you and your child for a long time to come.