Advice to Fathers on their Day
55Being There
It's a tough Job
A Father's Pride at seeing his son surpass the Teacher's Skill
Advice to dads from a guy that will never be one, and was a child brought up by an abuser.
You’re a dad and today is your day. While you’re enjoying your breakfast in bed, you may wish to think about the blessings that have been bestowed upon you; like the little boy that idealizes you, and the little girl that thinks of you as her knight in shining armor, or perhaps the sacrifices that were made by the woman who brought them into your life. You may have brought home the bacon, but she bore the pain. Think about that on your day. Don’t forget to thank those in your life that made this day possible for you, and give back to them.
Instead of lounging around the house sucking a beer and looking at the T.V. set with your gut hanging out over your dirty sweats and your hand down your pants, take your kids out for a catch, or perhaps a bicycle ride. Your children will never be young again, and this is the time that you need to be a Father and to earn your right to this day.
You need to be there for them to show them what is right, what is wrong, and how to deal with that tricky math problem. You need to show them how to catch a baseball on a short hop, how to cast a fly lure with the wind and into that special hole where the fish are hiding. You need to teach your boy how to throw a football with a tight spiral or shed a block to get to the quarterback, or evade the defenseman in Soccer, or Hockey. You need to teach your daughter that not all men are honorable like you, and tell her what to watch out for, and who to call no matter where she is, or what she’s been doing and tell her that you will always be there to protect her. You need to stand there ready to catch her when she’s doing a gymnastic routine, or be in the front row when she’s showing the world how talented she is at her first recital. You need to be there with her at her first soccer game, and cheer her on even if she misses a key play. You need to tell your boy that he needs to wear a condom, and to never hit a woman. You need to show that boy how to talk to girls without tripping over his words, and teach him how to dance. You need to wake up each and every day to show your children that you are a responsible human being and that you respect and love their mother.
The bottom line here is that Father’s day is not given, it is earned. Being a good father is not an easy thing to do, and you will make mistakes. Just remember that a good man apologizes for his mistakes, and a strong man isn’t afraid to cry and is never afraid to learn to change or educate himself so that he can educate his children. Be a good father, and Earn your right to this day.
Barrak Obama on Fatherhood.
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Comments
Mighty Mom, your words mean more to me than I can express here. Thank You.
Aw. Now you're making ME cry. Already an emotional day here in MMville. My dad died 11/24/08, Hubby's 2/26/09 and Sonny's 5/12/09. We are completely fatherless on this Fathers Day.
But being here on HP helps put my life in perspective. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of advice. And have a great day! MM
MM, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You're always welcome here.
Now hold on just a minute here. My kids can do way more in math than I can. LOL.
Great hub. Instead of feeling like I am due something today, I am feeling thankful for my kids. Though it is also my birthday, so I hope to put my feet up at least half the day. :)
Sorry to hear your dad was abusive. Seems to be a lot of them around. But if there is one thing my dad taught me, it was how not to be a dad.
Hey Trooper, good words there as you caught me with my gut hanging out!
Happy Father's Day.
Paper Moon, my dad did the same. I suppose even a bad example can be a good example. Happy Birthday, and Father's Day brother.
GT, same to you brother, take that hand out of your pants! :)
Very nice, trooper. What a wonderful message for fathers and their kids. Loved the pictures.
Thanks Alek, my sister is the photography talent for the first photo.
This is excellent advice for fathers everywhere! It's truth and beauty brought tears to my eyes! Happy Father's Day!
Thank you Kari, I am humbled.
Great words, and you could add, remember these things in all your tomorrows, too! And women, remember the flip side, all of your tomorrows! Being a parent is the most important thing we do and you nailed it! Thank you!
I think you just did Candie, thanks for the words and for the visit. You're most welcome as always :)
"The bottom line here is that Father’s day is not given, it is earned." Woo straight from the heart and both guns blazing, loved it, loved it a lot, well written mate !
Thanks BC :)
Fatherhood. Yes. So many of us try to make up for the shortcomings of our own fathers. It is a huge responsibility requiring deep sacrifice and offering deeper reward.
I have only one difference with you, my friend. "Never" is a very long time, especially because it is not just biology that makes a father. Also, I used to say "never" myself, once upon a time. My best to you.
Great punchy hub. I spent father's day with my grown up children and grandchildren having breakfast with one lot (old family) and lunch with the other (new family)
I appreciate what you say but in the end they love you anyway.
Oh this is a beautiful portrait of a father from an equally beautiful Hubber, it shows your sensitivity, yet great strength as a father yourself. This is something I too never had, I was totally on my own, so I invented a fantasy world outside where I lived. The grass became islands, trees were hideaways, with imaginary friends, maybe that is where my great imagination became. I have always said, "It does not show weakness for a man to cry, it shows that he has a beautiful spirit and character" (hugs) xo
Tom, thanks bro, but there is no danger in saying "Never" for me.
Sixtyorso, you are lucky to have forgiving children. Some children find it difficult to forgive, but that has more to do with abuse than anything else.
BP, thank you for sharing that. I often wonder what my life would have been like if my father wasn't there. I often think my sister and I would have been much better off. We had a young, albeit caring mother and wonderful grandparents. xo back atcha! :)
P.S. That's my niece in the photo. I can not be a father unless my wife and I choose to adopt.
Fantastic hub. I'm so fortunate to have a son with a man who cares very much about being a good father. We may not always agree on things, but I know that he loves our boy as much as I do - and that is valuable beyond measure. Your hub reminded me, as a woman, to forgive him his gut-hanging sweatpant moments - he deserves them once in a while for being so darn good all the time!
This is also timely for me as I just lost my brother-in-law very suddenly. He was exactly the kind of dad you describe here. Always, always made time to do things with his 3 kids. Never saw him loafing around. In fact, he got up early before work and took his daughter on a bike ride the day he died. He easily could have slept in or laid around watching the tube instead, and she'd never have that beautiful last memory of her father.
Thank you more than you know for writing this. You show character of great magnitude in doing so. You are obviously a good man who will be a positive influence in the lives of the children you are around. You are an inspirational person, though I don't think you're the type to have been shooting for that. Too bad, though. You are. :)
Roobee, I am sorry to hear of your loss, you're welcome and thank you for the kind words. My wife and I extend our most sincere condolences to you are your family.
Mighty Mom says:
6 months ago
Wow, Trooper. You said a mouthful there. Your advice on what a father's obligations are really rings true. Maybe I am a closet "sexist" in this regard, but I do think that fathers need to earn their Fathers Day by doing more than bringing home a paycheck.
I'm so sorry to hear you were raised by an abusive father. However, judging from this hub and the lovely pictures accompanying it, I'd say you've got more than your fair share of paternal instinct.
Honored to be the first one here to comment. And biological or not -- YOU deserve to be wished a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. MM