7 Dating Dilemmas

You may be wondering....who the hell is this guy, and why would I ever listen to him?

The answer is easy.  I'm a random guy on the internet.  What could be more authoritative and trust worthy than that?!?  :) 

 OK, sarcasm aside, I'm a little brother.  I have 34 years experience being a little brother though I can't remember the first 3 or 4 years well.  There are also some hazy spots during college, but frankly taking dating advice from a 19 year old guy would be something akin to asking President Bush for proof of weapons of mass destruction; he might sound convincing, but you'll just ended up screwed. 

 Anyway, as a little brother, I've watched some of the most beautiful, fabulous women, including my own sister, make some of the most spectacularly terrible dating decisions.  Seriously they make Whittington's decision to go hunting with Cheney seem like childs play.  Michael Jackson dangling his child over the balcony? Nothing compared to some of the calls my sister and her friends made. There was the live in work-a-holic cheating boyfriend.  The car obsessed plastic hair guy.  The guy who typically had food hanging from his face at any given moment.  Ugh.  She finally found an epic man, so we got through it.  But if I can spare one sister, somewhere in the world, a really bad dating decision, than my job here is done.  I want to see good women get the guys they deserve.  

So, even though I appear to have nothing else to do then to give unsolicited advice to strangers, it turns out my days fill up quickly.  My TIVO is backing up with John Stewart's Daily shows like you wouldn't believe.  So I'll doll out the 7 dilemas over the next 7 to 10 days.  Ready?

Dilemma #1:  Sleeping with someone on the first date

Subtitled: now n' laters

Um, let's be clear about something.  Very few guys will consider sleeping with a woman on the first date to be a dilemma.  In fact it's not even a decision. A better word would be, um, an objective.  I'm not saying every guy is a player.  On the other hand, when you consider that google returns over 80 million results  when you search on "picking up women" you gotta think that plenty of dudes aspire to be players by taking classes like this one.  

Let's not get cynical either. Cynicism just ain't sexy. Cool guys that are captivated by you are out there too. Even if you don't think they are. 

All I am saying is that the dude who swept you off your feet while you polished off apple-tinis at the lastest shwa-shwa bar could be a shark or a prince.  And since you just met him, you don't really know which one he is. 

That doesn't mean that you can't sleep with him.  If the sexual tension in the room is thicker than a stack of Rush Limbaugh's pad of pain pill prescriptions, live it up.  America is too damn repressed anyway.  I mean have you ever wondered why we diet more than any other country and we are still the biggest fat asses on the globe?  Maybe we should all be doin' a little more kissing and a little less happy mealing.

However, if you do decide to sleep with the guy on the first date, make sure that the time you have with him/her that night will out weigh remorse you might feel the next week if you don't get a call back.  If he's got the potential to knock your socks off in the sack, it might be worth it.  Screw the double standard and go be in the moment.

On the other hand, if you really, really like the guy and would be devestated if he never called you again, than he's gotta crank out some pretty spectacular moves in the bedroom to outweigh the blues you'll have if it doesn't pan out.  And there really isn't a big cost to waiting.  If he's a jerk, chances are he'll flake or show his true colors soon.  And if he's captivated, he'll stick around.    If you want to measure youself against the population in general, check out this poll, that says that nearly 1/3  of americans have slept with someone on a first date.

 All right, ready for the next dilemma?  Click to find out about the  good on paper dilemma.

You gotta click on Good on Paper to check out this dilemma.

To read all about dating guys from bars check out my article For Kicks or for Keeps?