Now ok this is my opinion and please don't kill or hang me!!! Affairs do not have to be destructive. One I don't think sets out to have an affair. It's not something that one sits and contemplates doing it before you go out looking for someone. It may be the last thing that you ever thought that you would ever do. However sometimes things just happen and we don't always have the answers to the reasons. Mostly I think because sometime is either lacking in our lives or our current situation is not a happy one, even if you are married! You can be married and be the most lonely person in the world! What is you met someone who somehow you just clicked with and the more time you where actually forced to spend with that person you realised more and more that a connection was there and there was no denying it. (normally a work situation). Both parties could even be married to others. I don't think having an affair is a very easy decision unless you don't have a conscience. Fortunately most of us do however it does not stop the invertible from happening. You stop and take stock of your life and realise that this is so much more then you expected. Its exciting and a secret , the other person makes you feel very special and all of a sudden you have a reason to be happy. Eventually it leads to more - those secret phone call and nowadays sms's. You feel special. Now the time comes that a decision has to be made. Do you or don't You! You need to be very aware of the pitfall it you do. You might be very lucky and be able to get away with it but not everybody does. I know of someone who had an affair with a married man for over 8 years, however it was a mutually agreed affair and that no one would know and that it would only be one that suited each of the other party concerned. The lady was single and lived alone so it was easy for the man to visit when he worked at night. It was a special arrangement and no pressure was put on each other. When he was available he would pop by for a visit, catching up with the going on in each other's lives and then would lead to more! The would end up in bed having sex together.

Now before you condemn and want to see red stop and read on. Being the old days and women almost being conditioned to the fact that sex was dirty or that it was something not to be dared to be enjoyed. The man found himself with such a wife and they had never had any children so to a large degree the story checked out and they even slept in separate beds. How things have changed. Yes guilt does play a part in having an affair however it does not always mean that it;s such a bad thing where two people can be of assistance to another without having to involve children ect it does not excuse it but it does help. How would any man feel who had been married for many a year and NEVER seen his wife naked!!! Sex was to hurtful for her and then she can only wander why her husband by chance and again someone who also never though they could get into that situation actually DID. So once again expectially to the older generation of women - take a look at you life and don't blame the man entirely if he does have an affair!