Age Appropriate Dating, Is There Such a Thing?
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Let's Not Go All Anna Nicole
You see a 50 year old man kissing a 20 something year old woman...what is your first thought?
- Aww, they must be in love.
- Who cares?
- That is disgusting!
- She is just after him for his money.
After the whole Anna Nicole thing, I think most of us feel like 3 and 4. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I'm sure some people believe that it is the age of your soul or something, but come on! Let's be realistic! What would be a good reason for a 20 something to be interested in a 50 year old?
She is looking for someone to take care of her. 20 Something men are not prepared for the type of lifestyle that some women want to lead, so they aim higher, or older rather. Do you think that they really love this person? Maybe they have some paternal issues, and they are looking for someone to replace their dad. Who knows? All I do know is that there is something seriously wrong with this picture.
I'm not saying that you should date people who are exactly the same age as you, but you should definitely have about a 10 year plus/minus range. Unless the minus 10 years is putting you in some not legal situations. You know what I mean...
This is not just for men either. I'm sure that people think that it is more acceptable for a 50 year old man to be dating a 20 something woman, opposed to a 50 year old woman dating a 20 something man. To me...I think they are both inappropriate.
What would you have in common with someone that is 30 years older than you are? Just think of it this way, when you were getting started on your first big career at 30, your girlfriend was being born. When you were creeping over that hill, your girlfriend was enjoying her late teens. Does this sound right to you?
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Comments
Veronica I appreciate your feedback and input into this question. I think I disapprove because of the situations that I have seen, where it is clear that there is some disfunctional about the relationship. I guess my base them off my visual experiences, and the media. Thank you for sharing your insight.
Yeah, when you think about a big age difference, you don't usually picture Steven Tyler ;)
Hi,
When I was 22 I dated a 44 year old guy for a while, and it was great. It was wonderful to feel that looked after feeling. I think though for me, after a while it became a little bit smothering, which is why the relationship ended.
I think people can have a large age gap and make it work, but only if they are prepared to put the effort in.
Best wishes,
Flora Green
Veronica says:
2 years ago
Hmmm. Some good points and as always I enjoy your work and your point of view. This is the first time I really disagreed with you. But it's a good discussion and always good to exchange ideas and experiences.
The biggest age difference I had in a romantic situation, I was 27 and he was 57. He was so worldly and interesting. He taught me so much. He was very much younger looking than his years, very attractive, it was kind of like dating Stephen Tyler. We were told quite a few times we looked pretty cool together. He was very into my writing, and seemed to always be fascinated with me and my Words. He was very encouraging with my work. We had a lot of in-common hobbies like art exhibits and hockey games. Looking back I feel like it was a symbiotic and healthy relationship. I can't think of anything that was even awkward because of age. A 30 year age difference is significant but we had a blast. I am glad I was open to it. I can see that this may have been an exceptional situation though. I realize from your HUB that you very much dsapprove of that relationship and that you say there is something seriously wrong with it. But I actually think if you knew us then you might not feel that way. It really was a good relationship. We were together about 8 months, and ended when he moved back to Europe. Neither of us were thinking long term anyway. There are many kinds of relationships that come at many different times of your life; not all of them are in search of your lifemate.
My husband is 7 years younger than I am. I've just never let age get in the way of who I feel a connection to.