I number of years ago, while close to Wilmington, Delaware for a training course ( a whole different story), we had the opportunity to spend some time with a couple of English trainees visiting from across the pond. Although we didn't have classes together, each evening we would gather at the hotel pub and after, a few pints, the stories would flow.

One evening, we were preparing to catch the shuttle to dinner at a local crab shack. If you aren't familiar with the concept, this is where they sit you at a bench, they throw a bunch of crabs in front of you and a mallot and let you go to it.

One of the guys from England who, by the way, had been there for a couple of weeks before us, told this story about his last trip there. For the sake of brevity, I will call him Nigel.

It seems, a couple of weeks before we arrived, there was a guy attending the training who showed up Day 1 in a white shirt and tie. Now this is not the kind of class that you stay clean. You are inside the instruments, greasing parts, assembling parts, replacing parts and generally getting down and dirty. Nigel pulled him aside and gave him the hint that he didn't really need to wear a tie and tidy whities to the class. The next day, here he came. You guessed it, white shirt and tie. Lord knows how many he ruined because each day he would show up in the same outfit.

Now the way it worked was that the company that sponsored the class gave us $180 dollars for evening meals and a van to take us where we wanted to go. On the last day of this guys week, the group decided on the Crab Shack. As everyone gathered Nigel noticed that Tidy Whitie was approaching wearing--- well, you guessed it.

Nigel explained the way that Crab Shacks work, mallots and all. "I'm not gonna do that!" Nigel explained that he would leave the place very hungry then because that was dinner.

Upon arriving at the crab shack, everone took a place at the bench. The picnic type tables were lined up in rows so that you people sitting in front of and behind you. Nigel proceeded to show everyone how to prepare the crabs. "First you turn them over belly up and grab this little tail thingy and peel that off. Then you turn it over and peel off the top. Then you snap it in half...." He got about that far before the "bloke" announced that HE wasn't going to do this. Nigel reminded him that he would be going home hungry then.

Finally they convinced Whitey that he could do this. As Nigel explained this, it all happened in slow motion since he witnessed it while sitting across from Whitey. Whitey picked up a crab and gingerly peeled off the tail. Well done! Then he turned over the crab and peeled off the top shell. Again, the bloke could follow directions. Then it happened. He grasped both sides of the crab and when he snapped it in half, the green liver launched itself up and over his shoulder. Whitey watched in horror as it lifted itself and proceeded behind him.

As it turns out, the huge guy sitting directly behind him was wearing a white muscle man t-shirt and sported a shaved head. This is where the liver decided to land. It seemed like the whole room stopped to watch what would happen next. The muscle man stopped eating and sat perfectly still for what seemed like an eternity. Whitey's life is meanwhile flashing before his eyes. The man then slowly picked up a napkin and wiped the liver from his head. Only after this did he slowly turn around and give Whitey a cold stare. He then returned to his meal. Whitey didn't eat crab that evening. The group decided that was OK and took him to a burger place.

The Brits do have a wonderful sense of humor and I only wish I could convey the animation and facial expressions that went with the story.

Enjoy your Treasured Pasts.

Stuart