Decided you've had enough of those alien abductions? Don't want to mess around with the salt/mustard method?Spent enough time researching Area 51 and how to stop those aliens? You've come to the right site!

Just copy and paste the template below, insert your name where appropriate, and keep it on yourself at all times. Next time you're abducted, you'll have effectively served them using due process of law.

If that doesn't get them to cease and desist, I don't know what will!

CAUTION: Don't try filing this in a court of law on Earth. Not everyone understands or believes that abductions are happening, so the court system hasn't quite caught up to the depth of the problem.

                  IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM DISTRICT COURT

                           MILKY WAY DIVISION

Insert Your Full Name Here, :

Plaintiff : CASE NO. 3.14159

vs. :

Aliens From Outer Space :

ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE :

Defendants :

__________________________________ :

PLAINTIFF’S ORIGINAL COMPLAINT

TO THE HONORABLE COURT:

NOW COMES (Insert Your Name Here) Plaintiff, and makes, files and presents Plaintiff’s Original Petition in which it complains of The Aliens From Outer Space, Defendants. Plaintiff would show the Court as follows:

Venue

I.

Venue is on Earth because that is where Plaintiff lives and the unbelievably offensive events took place and it would be too far for Plaintiff to prosecute them on their own planet, wherever that is.

Parties

Plaintiff

III.

Plaintiff is (Insert Your Name Here), a young or old, law abiding, ordinary resident of (insert city and state where you live here).

Defendant

III

Defendants are Aliens From Outer Space.

General Facts Underlying Suit

IV

Approximately (insert appropriate number here) years/months/days (Circle appropriate time period) ago, Plaintiff has been repeatedly taken against his/her will and subjected to medical experiments, surgery and implants by the Defendants, Aliens From Outer Space. This means the aliens are guilty of: (choose the following as applicable)

(A) Practicing medicine without a license;

(B) Kidnapping;

(C) Stalking;

(D) Assault and battery;

(E) Causing severe mental and physical pain and anguish;

(F) Invasion of Plaintiff’s privacy, which is a right of every Citizen of Planet Earth as provided in the Declaration of Independence or whatever;

(G) Causing Plaintiff sleep problems and she/he really needs at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep to function adequately;

(H) Causing Plaintiff to lose his/her job, which had been a fairly good living, nothing fancy, but enough to get a nice place to live and bring food to the table;

(I) Causing Plaintiff to lose his/her marital relationship, and every married person will understand the suffering caused by that.

V

Plaintiff also requests visitation rights with his/her half human, half alien children.

Actual Damages

VI.

Plaintiff has sustained actual damages and would appreciate as much as a generous jury will award him, since he/she deserves it.

WHEREFORE PREMISES CONSIDERED, Plaintiff requests a trial by jury and upon final hearing have judgment in his/her favor because obviously he/she is the injured party and the aliens are evil and devious.

Respectfully submitted,

_______________________

(Insert Your Name Here)

PLAINTIFF PRO SE

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