“To lose weight just exercise a little willpower and push back from the table.”

Ever heard anyone say something like that? Ever had anyone say something like that to you? Have you ever said (or thought) something like that yourself?

Then it’s time to get real. Being overweight is definitely not because of a lack of will. If it were just about will power, then being overweight would be about as rare as good customer service.

Being overweight is not the result of a lack of will. If you’ve ever spoken with anyone who is struggling with weight you will find that they have had the will to seriously diet over and over and over again. Diets that are big, diets that are small, diets that are boring, diets that are distasteful, fasts and even starvation diets have all been done and redone. Many of the diets have lasted 6 months to a year, with no lasting results!

What about exercise? Overweight people have exercised till those wayward cows have come home. People who hate to exercise have, through the sheer force of will, walked and biked untold miles, pumped tons of iron and sweated through hours of dancercise, jazzercise, and every “er-cise” imaginable, even gone through the humiliation of gyms full of slim bouncy hard-bodies. If will power were currency most overweight people would be rich as Rockefeller.

Once, during a boating accident, I had to jump into some extremely cold ocean water in order for the rescue team to grab me out. Earlier, a sailor with a tiny boat had fished me out of the water but the rescue team couldn’t get close enough to the sailboat to transfer me off, so I had to jump back in the water. I was close to drowning because hypothermia had robbed me of my ability to use my arms to swim. Jumping back in the water was the single greatest act of will I have ever had to do.

One evening, during a social gathering, I watched a man go though several moments of inner discussion while resisting some homemade cookies. I honestly believe that what I saw came close to or was even a greater test of will power than that moment I had to jump back in the water.

He won the battle. Another person in the group had asked him if he wanted a cookie and he hesitated, stepped forward, stepped back, thought about it, vacillated, and finally said no. He went on to explain that he couldn’t think of anything that he would rather do than eat one of those cookies. But he had been on the no carbohydrate diet for several years and just couldn’t allow himself to give in.

Was this man a lone sterling example of will power? Hardly, he is in very good company.

Bill, 56 years old, had battled weight all of his adult life. He had been on so many diets that he could not remember them all. Eventually he went on a doctor controlled diet. Over a period of many months of just one small glass of a foul liquid substance a day, he lost over 140 pounds going from over 350 pounds to close to 200. Two years later he was back over 350. He did the liquid thing again and lost 125 of the pounds he had regained. Two years after that he was again over 350 pounds.

Not to be a quitter, he went on yet another severely controlled diet. A little over a year later, with a daily, moment-by-moment monitoring and recording of every calorie, plus water aerobics and frequent doctor visits, he had lost almost 125 pounds once again.

Bill then gave up and started gaining back the pounds he’d lost. Why? He hated being overweight and clearly he had an iron will and could diet. So why did he go back to overeating as soon as the diet was over? It was not the presence or absence of will but rather a subconscious compulsion forcing him to eat. The driving compulsion to eat is something that most people are unaware of and that naturally thin people just don’t understand. It’s not a matter of willpower.

If you struggle with weight, then yes you do have a Food Monster, and if you do have a Food Monster it is just about guaranteed that you will eat more when stressed. Beating your self up for not having enough will power will only create more stress starting a downward spiral of more pressure to eat more and needing to exercise even more will power.

Bottom line as far as weight loss is concerned: If you struggle with your weight, until the subconscious compulsion called the Food Monster is neutralized the struggle will always continue no matter how much will power you use. Once it is neutralized permanent stress free weight loss will automatically be yours!

Bottom line, as far as will power is concerned: Stop beating yourself up for not having enough will power! Give yourself credit for all that you have done. Celebrate each little success, and every great success. Be kind to yourself.