If you feel sad a lot, you may ask your self the question; am I depressed? Depression is a constant feeling of sadness, emptiness and loneliness. Depression is not something you can just snap in and out of. It takes control of your mind and body. The sadness can cause you to isolate yourself from everything and everyone that you love. A person suffering from depression has feelings of fatigue and loss of interest. Furthermore, the person will suffer with physical pain. Some depression suffers will become suicidal.

My battle with depression

I have suffered with depression all of my life. I can remember being a little girl and just crying for hours with no reason. As I grew into a teen-ager the depression got better while I was busy doing things with a few fiends. However, the happiness did not last long. When I was 16-Years-Old, my first love was killed in a car accident, my 16-year-old cousin was killed in a car accident, and my grandfather passed away all in the same month. I had never knew death until this moment. It was quite overwhelming. I can remember just trying to find light in all of the darkness.

I married my husband when I was 17-years-old. Next, my first daughter was born when I was twenty. Although I was excited about her approaching arrival, I had to be on Zoloft the whole time I was pregnant. Zoloft is a common drug prescribed for depression. Life went on and six years later I had my other daughter.

Through the years I shut out anyone that was close to me except for my children. I was isolated and many times did not want to live. However, I was never suicidal because I believe in God and I would never leave my children to have to deal with that. However, it did affect my job performance, my relationship with my husband, and my social life.

I have always felt lonely, isolated and sad. It is a battle that I still face and will probably deal with all of my life. I have learned to cope with it better.

How I cope

Coping with depression can be difficult. I do take Paxil which helps some. I have found that going outside and consuming a lot of sunshine helps the most. I push myself to stay busy and not to reflect on things that cause me pain. However, sometimes I cry for hours with no reason. I have learned not to expect someone else to make me happy. Happiness is something you must find in yourself. I love to write, therefore, I write when I am feeling depressed.

Signs that someone you love is depressed

1. Constant sadness

2. Irritability

3. Hopelessness

4. Loss of energy

5. Feelings of worthlessness

6. Weight Change

7. Difficulty in concentrating

8. Loss of interest

Am I Depressed?

If you think that you are dapressed, there is hope. You can tal to your doctor as there are many medications that can help you through your depression. If you feel a loss of energy and an overwhelming amount of sadness, you need to seek help. Things can get better.

Drowning in a Lake of Sorrows

Drowning in a lake of sorrows,

I am gasping for air.

Where my heart leads, my mind follows,

filling me with despair.

Relentlessly seeking a ray of hope,

I only need a beam.

My soul tells my body to cope.

“Things aren’t as they seem.”

Searching for someone who will care,

I need a simple embrace.

My arms reach as my eyes stare,

rejection in the face.

Slowly slipping into depression,

I feel I can’t keep going.

My tears fall through my eyes deception.

They are abundantly flowing.

Drowning in a lake of sorrows,

I am gasping for air.

Where my heart leads, my mind follows,

filling me with despair.