Isn't it amazing how thinking can affect your life? I am sure you have noticed, or if you look back at certain stress situations I am sure you will realize, how the thinking at the time ruled the situation. You can always know what you or another are thinking by listening to the words spoken. Think of a recent conflict you had with someone. What were your dominant thoughts? What were the words you were speaking? "But he shouldn't do that...", "She said ...", "I don't like ...", or any number of words. Always such expressions in stress situations are pointing away from you, either to another person, group or organisation, or to a situation or event. And every time you do this you are amplifying the problem by focusing on it. As Bob Proctor recently said in one our coaching sessions, "What you resist attracts the vibration of what you do not want." Its like blowing a second trumpet in order to drown out the noise of the first trumpet, the noise just gets worse. Instead all we need to do is put away the first trumpet. In other words, rather than resist and pass the blame, take a breath, relax and observe your feelings. Pretend to be an observer and take note of your thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge them and release them. Know what it is that upset you and think instead of the desired outcome and concentrate on that. To do this you will need to go to a quiet place, which in itself will ease the situation.

The next step is to accept the thoughts and feelings of the other side of the conflict. Even if you feel they are wrong and you strongly disagree with their actions or views, let go of your negative feelings. Only when you free yourself from the negative will you be free to think of the positive. Often a conflict is unnecessary and is caused by individuals seeking to win over another. There is always an opposite. Seek the opposite, the positive reversal, and watch the conflict melt away.

If you are aware of your negative thoughts and words, then be happy, because being aware is a big step forward. Share your thoughts on this here.

Jim Murdoch, LifeSuccess coach and speaker

http://www.wingsofchangelife.com
http://www.jmurdoch.com/